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11 year old is 5'3 230lbs need help



 
 
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DAWNDMOORE40
Posts: 2,637
6/3/12 12:39 P

I can relate! I have a 12 year old boy who eats so much! He is not even 13 and he is over 175 lbs. He is going to his doctor and having weigh ins every two weeks to keep his weight in check, but I am still worried! We don't keep fattening stuff in the house and we don't allow him to have soda, but what is happening is he is over eating the healthy stuff. He is sneaking food under his bed mattress or in the cushions of the couch! He will take his allowance and go down to dollar general and get snacks or he will get them from his friend's house. I don't want to ground him for this because that sends a negative message and the counselor said you don't want to do that. So I just keep praying for him that he will see how I eat and exercise and eventually he will get tired of being in denial to himself. Just the other day he told me that yes he gained three pounds, but that the doctor told him it was in his chest and arms getting more toned! I about laughed because that isn't happening either! Signed: Very concerned parent!



LISSAWISSA
SparkPoints: (610)
Fitness Minutes: (43)
Posts: 3
5/27/12 10:55 A

I agree with getting her checked out by a doctor. There could be many things contributing to her obesity. I know that for my family, we have changed to a healthier eating style. When grocery shopping, I do not buy frozen foods (except some frozen veggies) and all bread and pasta is now whole wheat. (not my favorite, but it is worth it to be healthier). We also do not buy any soda. For snacks, my 6 year old is really enjoying granola bars (low sugar), yogurt with granola, fruit with fruit dip (lite cool whip and any flavor low fat yogurt), I also made a whole wheat bread pudding (with splenda brown sugar) that she LOVED! It's all about trial and error with healthy snacks... I find that if I have things already prepared and cut up ahead of time, it's easy to grab the healthy stuff. We don't buy anything high in fat and stay away from candy etc... it is our choice, our health, our children, our bodies and as a family, we decided that it was important to stick around and do things together, as a family, instead of eat ourselves to death.



MIRRAJ
SparkPoints: (2,469)
Fitness Minutes: (715)
Posts: 7
5/25/12 8:12 P

If she is going through puberty, you might want to get her checked out for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I have it, but was diagnosed just a few years ago (WISH it had been when I was a teen!). I used to be hungry ALL the time, but I am working though it with some help from Metformin. A blood test would show if there is insulin resistance or not. Just a suggestion - your mileage may vary.



SUNSHINE084
Posts: 4,212
5/25/12 8:00 P

Have her learn what she is eating. Pick items she can make for supper and snacks that are healthy. Spend time together to learn. Try getting her into Martial Arts. This exercise helps with weight and teaches discipline. She will met others her age and work towards goals. Hope this helps.



HEALTHNBEAUTY
SparkPoints: (6,590)
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Posts: 34
5/25/12 1:52 P

Wow! As a mom, I can understand your frustration. Would love to share some information that is PROVEN to tackle this very issue. Please let me know if your interested and we can communicate via email. Praying for you and your kids!!



LORRAINEB123
Posts: 89
5/12/12 6:19 P

there are so many theories on why people over eat, from genetics, hormones, environmental, etc.. but my personal theory is that food is a substitute for something, weve all heard of comfort eating havnt we.. but i will take this even further... it is self abuse! no matter what the cause.. you have to find out what the cause is and deal with it. just like alcohol or drugs, there is always a reason.. after all - why should anybody want to self abuse.. the short term fix to make them feel better... from what? find out the cause and find the cure!! learn to love and accept oneself for who they are, and stop self abuse!!



JADOMB
SparkPoints: (74,845)
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Posts: 1,623
5/12/12 12:03 P

I was just messing with you. LOL I understand that some meats can be very high in fats, but many cuts are not and are loaded with good protein. I have some friends and relatives that are strict vegans and they look terrible and are always sick. And they are all up on what to replace meats with. Most folks are just not so good at sticking with such a strict diet and having to work so hard to find the right things to replace meat with, so unless they have some deep religious reason or something, I'm against full on vegans.

Now cutting back on meats is great and that's what I do. Coming from an upbringing on the Ranch, I would be considered a sinner. ;-) I usually only have 3-6 ounces of meat per day and that is usually in the chicken and fish form. Maybe once per week or so I have some form of beef. This morning I had multi-grain flat bread toast, one egg mixed with 1/4 cup of egg beaters, and two morning glory vegetarian sausage patties.(what a hypocrite I am, lol) Oh, and a cup of coffee w/ two international creamers.

As far as junk food goes, that is a mixed bag and a parent needs to know their family and self with this. I've seen way too many families that don't allow any in their house and their kids sneak it and gorge on it when away. Instead of doing that, I always had some candies and such in the house but where the kids could not just grab and go. When they were young I would let them have one small candy after they ate their meal. It was kinda like desert. So they were not deprived of it and they knew they would get some sometime, so they did not focus on it. Eventually when they grew up, it was where they could grab and go, but they didn't. It was there for the taking, but they were educated in knowing that it was a treat and not a staple. So a small bag of candies or other treats would last us so long that sometimes we had to throw them out because they were getting old. But like I said, a parent needs to know their family and themselves on this.

Anyway, it's a tough thing to do no matter how one goes about it, and I commend anyone that is able to keep their family on track in eating nutritious foods.



JACKSMOMMA27
SparkPoints: (1,171)
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Posts: 24
5/12/12 9:56 A

Jamomb- I am only vegetarian now, but was vegan for a while. OF COURSE vegans believe in breastfeeding, I am proud to say I breastfed.

I said limit HIGH-FAT dairy and yes I said meat. The reason I said that is because it really opens doors to introduce whole grains, beans and new vegetables to kids when you cut out the meat.

And I just don't agree that there is room in a healthy diet for processed. junky foods. Thats precisely the stuff that landed most of us on sparkpeople lol. ITs time to reprogram what is indeed healthy and what is not, instead of making excuses that justify eating junk.



JADOMB
SparkPoints: (74,845)
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Posts: 1,623
5/11/12 5:59 P

I must disagree with Jack'smomma about things to limit to "none". First off, when eating a good balance of foods throughout the day, even "junk" food can be eating. Just that is should really be limited to very little and that it fits within the required nutrients needed that day. And as far as Meat and dairy being limited to "none", no way. Both of those foods give one many required nutrients that are very hard to get elsewhere. I am guessing she is a vegan and I have no problem with that if she wants to do all that is needed to survive without eating meat and dairy products. But for most of us folks with canine teeth, meat is one of the best sources of protein. It needs to be limited and balanced to do right, but it should not be exempt from a normal diet. Unless you are lactose intolerant, milk products are also very good for folks. Which begs the question, do vegans believe in breast feeding? Just wondering.



JACKSMOMMA27
SparkPoints: (1,171)
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Posts: 24
5/11/12 3:15 P

I think you got a lot of good advice, and I totally feel for you feeding three kids on a budget. I am from Canada and when I went to the states the discrepancy in price between whole foods and junk is staggering! No wonder there is an obesity epidemic!

That being said, everyone keeps mentioning 'good food' but I think it needs ot be taken one step farther and should be WHOLE foods. You can feed a family of four on whole foods for between 75 and one hundred dollars a week probably far LESS. I do it if I need to. How? Well fill up on bulk whole grains as the staples- steel cut oats, a variety of beans like lentils, red and pinto. Than add grains (I am not talking about bread.) like whole wheat pasta and brown rice.Finally, load the cart with eggs, milk, fruit and veg (on sale of course.) These are the foods you should be eating. Meat, high fat dairy and processed junks should be limited to none at all.

I struggle with my weight too and I think it is so admirable that you see a problem and are trying to fix it. But lets face it- no adult should weigh 230 pounds let alone an eleven year old girl. This sounds really serious and you need to seek professional help IMO. When I was eleven i was 85 pounds if that. I am 26 now and gained a hundred pounds due to poor pregnancy eating and complications and I still don't even weigh 230.

I am not trying to sound harsh and I UNDERSTAND feeding kids on a budget and quantity over quality- but even if you have nothing in the house but beans and rice they won't starve. Plus it is healthier and more filling than a box of kd or a frozen pizza.

Also if she is eating two meals out of the house you need to find out WHAT it is and how much are the portions...ie. can they go back for seconds? Is she eating anything at all? sounds like a whole bunch of issues are happening here and your probably on the right track when it comes to issues at school...

I wish you so much luck :) if you keep modelling healthy behaviour I know you will create the changes needed to help your daughter! You can PM if you want some cheap meal ideas or need resources for shopping healthfully on a budget :)





ICANDOTHIS12
SparkPoints: (3,183)
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Posts: 21
5/9/12 3:36 P

OMG..glad i was browsing around and found this. I need help also. My daughter is only 10. I am not sure of her height but she is 165 pounds. I am scared to death. We have cut snacking at home..and i have told my mom to not let her do it at there house. she is at risk already for high cholesterol. How can i find foods she will eat...and as far as 10 goes i think she does a lot of running around and stuff so activity is not the biggest thing.or could it be...we see a dr next week..so hopefully it will help..and i dont want to kill her self esteem either..help..



ALTRAOICHE
Posts: 65
5/9/12 2:58 P

As someone who has been an emotional eater all my life, I would try to find out why she eats from the time she gets home to bedtime. Is she bored? unhappy? stressed? Consider a licensed professional counselor who works with teens... I know this sounds expensive but many insurance plans cover it, or you may be able to find one free of charge through your school.

My heart aches for your daughter because I used to be the same way.



CLARK971
Posts: 651
5/9/12 1:46 P

have you talked with a doctor? maybe they could provide you with some guidelines. ( if you have a guideline for how many calories, protein, fat, carbs she should have daily that may help.) is she able to make healthy choices for the meals she is provided at school? i know they have to meet some standards, but my kids hot lunches don't seem all that great to me. pay attention to labels. the kraft mac and cheese that i have in my pantry has 370 calories per serving prepared. eating the 2 serving box would be 740 calories! it doesn't look like that much, but that would be nearly 1/2 of my calories for the day, with little nutrition. Sodas and juice have a lot of sugar and calories. good luck!



SHEILAJ2008
Posts: 163
5/9/12 12:31 P

As the food buyer in my house, I make sure we always have healthy snacks and very limited junk food. That way when my kids go through a growing spurt and eat more, they have healthy food all around them. It also teaches them how to eat right. Good luck!



JADOMB
SparkPoints: (74,845)
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Posts: 1,623
5/3/12 6:02 P

That's great to hear. I'm sure she is having fun being with her mother and away from her friends while doing this too. Keep it up, my prayers are with you guys.



DWHEAVEN24
SparkPoints: (1,378)
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Posts: 22
5/3/12 12:29 P

Thankyou Dallas99 your right. I have, (since I posted this ) taken her to a Zumba class and let her see what it was like and now she is really looking forward to going so I hope that she just naturally finds things she enjoys so she will progress with out any added pressure from me.



DALLASGIRL99
SparkPoints: (3,667)
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Posts: 88
5/3/12 8:31 A

I think someone mentioned that a coach provided some recommendations (the same ones that mom had!) and her daughter followed their advice. Sometimes hearing the same words from someone other than mom can have a more positive effect.

My daughter is 12 and very active in soccer. She tore her ACL and had surgery a few weeks ago so her activity is very limited now. So she is very concerned that she is going to gain weight. But with her activity lessening, so is her appetite.

Its a struggle for us as adults, and I think its even harder for kids.

Good luck to you and your daughter!



UNCOMMONANGEL
Posts: 283
5/3/12 4:46 A

I can sympathize, since I am the same way... I can eat till bursting, then 5min later, I am checking the cubbards again for something... whatever catches my eye... I have to go grocery shopping with that in mind. I have to get GOOD for you foods, and not much at all that is INSTANT and ready to eat. If something has to be made and I am in a GOTTA EAT SOMETHING mode, I probably will give up. If I have ready to eat food that I just nuke or open and eat, I will EAT IT. If I have to get a pan, add this and that, and actually MAKE it, you can be sure I really am hungry and not just feeling an empty craving. For my kids, if they are searching the fridge for something to eat, and don't find anything, I tell them to have an apple... if they say they don't FEEL like eating and apple, then they are NOT really hungry! If you are really hungry, FOOD is FOOD. A craving is not your body telling you that you are lacking a certain cheezy poof vitamin for your bone health... lol... it's just your bored mind thinking about food since it isn't working too hard at the moment.

Edited by: UNCOMMONANGEL at: 5/3/2012 (04:47)


DWHEAVEN24
SparkPoints: (1,378)
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Posts: 22
4/24/12 3:32 P

Thank you for your reply and I appreciate such good advise. I have been doing better about the foods we eat and trying to get her motivated in a better way I do tend to nag because I am working so hard and I want her to take it as seriously as I do but your right she just pushes me away and I don't want her to feel bad. I think I could, like you said not even bring it up sometimes just change the way I do things and she will come around. thanks again.



JADOMB
SparkPoints: (74,845)
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Posts: 1,623
4/24/12 2:22 P

I can see by your page that you also have a ways to go to get back healthy and fit. There is probably some genetics and environmental connections here too. It is good that you have found this site and are on your way. This will also help you with your daughter. Kids live by example whether we think they are ignoring us or not. So I would recommend that you make sure you fill the house with only good foods and you show her how not only that you are abiding by it, but are successfully headed for your goal. You don't need to NAG and actually, that is a quick way to turn kids off. But make sure she trusts you and wants to emulate you. Especially at her age, she is now going into the strongest period of peer pressure and needs a solid parent to be able to trust and go to. You are going to find that they will begin to trust their silly teenage friends more than you for the next few years. Make sure you don't give her any reasons to justify this period of mistrusting parents and adults.

Also, do try to find as many physically demanding things to do with her. When you go to the mall, park a long way away to not only protect your car, but to get a few more steps in walking to the store. Every little thing adds up. My prayers are with you. Keep the Faith



DWHEAVEN24
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4/22/12 7:35 P

Thanks again for your comments and understanding and I am going to take your advice. I think you are absolutely right and she might need some one on one time with me. I appreciate you taking the time to help and I will keep you posted on how things turn out.



ROLLERCOASTER6
Posts: 166
4/22/12 4:02 P

Are you able to get out and take walks with her? Even drive to a park that has a walking trail? If you could set a goal with her perhaps that would help the communication also. If you think she is stressed then I bet she is. If she doesn't like to talk to you about it maybe a nice long walk 3 times a week could help. Teenage years can be so hard for anyone so getting her comfortable with who she is right now is very important. It would give her the confidence to face the next few years with strength.
My oldest daughter is 16. When she started playing softball and realized that she loved the sport it was a whole new world! When her coach told the team they needed to be drinking water and more fruits and vegetables she was all over that (even though I had been saying it her whole life).



DWHEAVEN24
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4/22/12 9:37 A

Thank you for understanding. She played volley ball and is getting ready to start softball. she is excited and her softball coach is very well liked in our community for being supportive to her players. I buy healthy snacks and fruit and veggies all three of my kids love them but my oldest eats them all up in a day or two and it is difficult to get her to fill up on anything. I thought at first it was hormones but now I wonder if its a health problem or pyschological. She was diagnosed with a severe to profound hearing loss when she was two and has always struggled to fit in I wonder if this new school she is at may be contributing to stress but she doesn't really talk to me about it.



ROLLERCOASTER6
Posts: 166
4/22/12 3:16 A

Also, what sport is she playing? Does she have a good coach that is positive and encouraging? If she finds something that she likes this could be a great turning point for her.



ROLLERCOASTER6
Posts: 166
4/22/12 3:14 A

I also have a daughter that loves to eat, she is 10. It's not as easy as "you control the food". I know that it is important that we don't put too much importance on trying to "control" their food. My daughter is "helping" me with my healthy lifestyle by walking with me every night after dinner. My entire family is eating healthier over the last year with more whole grains but I'm still having trouble converting them to the 5 a day on fruits and veggys.



DWHEAVEN24
SparkPoints: (1,378)
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4/21/12 11:44 P

Yes my daughter, and we have a very limited food budget and she has to eat two of her meals at school. When she comes home she she is hungry until bedtime. We do eat healthy now and she says she is not full so how can I feed her the right foods without depriving her?




LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 15,561
4/21/12 10:39 P

Is this your daughter?
If so, YOU have control over the food in your house!



DWHEAVEN24
SparkPoints: (1,378)
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Posts: 22
4/21/12 10:30 P

She is very tall and very curvey for her age and the weight may be due to hormonal changes but I want her to work out and I have recently gotten her invovled with sports but she eats non stop and im really scared for her.



 
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