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5/16/12 3:28 P

Kick his little butt. LOL j/k I agree with Saraiab, she gave so good advice. You do have to make timeouts something that works. It is NOT going to their room to vandalize or play. I had my kids have their timeouts at the end of the hall and facing the wall while standing up. Some folks will not agree with this technique, but it does NOT allow them to lose focus of their punishment. I also only had them do that for a few minutes per their age. So at 2 years old, you are only looking at about 4 minutes in timeout. But it is a serious time out and it is effective.

If my kids ever tore up their room or bed, they would be sleeping in that unmade bed until THEY fixed it. Even a 2 year old will not like that and will ask for help to make it back up. If they mistreat their toys, they are packed up and taken away. If they don't put their toys away, they too are packed up and taken away. If they don't learn at an early age to respect what they have, they will continue on that path when they get much more expensive or cherished items.

TRAIN UP YOUR CHILDREN. Their first 5 years are their foundation to their future behaviors. Plenty of structure, discipline and love will teach them to do right and make good choices. I may sound like a hard disciplinarian, but I gave them more love than most folks. It's just that they deserved it and respected it. They are now young adults with great futures and thank us every day for how we raised them. (they weren't so thankful in their early teens though, but who cares, they don't think during those years) LOL By the way, my two kids were quite opposite too, that's why one can't always use the same technique on both the kids.

SARAIAB Posts: 61
5/16/12 11:22 A

I hear your frustration - coming from a mom of 2 boys who were totally different in similar ways to your situation. I also have a 6 year age difference between my oldest and the next of the younger 2.

But I have to say that I feel you are putting too much of a high expectation on your six year old firstly, she is not mature enough to discipline the child, and her retaliation would not be something I would teach either of my kids. I feel your efforts to use timeout or the most promising but I'll give you some things that I've tried with my kids - maybe it will help.

1.) When my little ones picked on the big ones - I asked the older children to have tolerance and patience, walk away, and let me know. Retaliation is not an option. Usually I was present so I saw it unfold. When they were fighting (and even now still) I try to teach kindness towards each other even when the other is not behaving.

2.) When I saw the incident happened I would immediately intervien, say "No, we don't hit" the child is out of control, simply put the child in a time out place for a couple minutes. If they are crying, then time out doesn't start until crying is done. If you ahve a real fit thrower this could take awhile and it definitely keeps you tied up dealing with it until it is over. It helps with little ones to have a visible wind up timer - they can see that mom doesn't start the timer until they behave, they can see that mom restarts the timer if they start misbehaving in the middle of timeout.

3.) When the child has completed time out and they are calm, I explained that they hurt their brother or sister and ask them to say "sorry" or give hugs.

I used to use bedroom time outs when my kids got the hang of what time out was. But in your case I wouldn't try this til he actuall "gets" it. He may be constantly sitting at a stool for awhile.

I dunno that's my 2 cents... but please don't ask your daughter to hit him back - this will NOT WORK. It will teach them both to be mean to eachother and does not instill a good value generally.

MMSCHNEIDER Posts: 28
5/16/12 7:11 A

Hi everyone! Hope everyone had a great mother's day!!

I thought I would see if anyone else had this....

I have a 6 y/o girl who slept well as a baby was well behaved as a toddler and is super polite and smart. She is very introverted though, she is shy and will hold on to our legs if someone talks to her.

My 2 y/o is the polar opposite. He didn't sleep great as a baby, tantrums as a 2 y/o and is super extroverted. He has all this personality and will talk to anyone. A trip to Wal-Mart is a job because he wants to stop and talk to EVERYONE who walks by. Everyone loves him because of his cute and bubbly personality.

The concern I am having is my 2 y/o is SUPER mean to my 6 y/o. She will just be sitting watching TV and he will yank her hair or kick her. She won't hit him back and typically just cries. I have talked to her about defending herself and I always intervene when this occurs and discipline him and talk to him about being nice but nothing has worked. I feel the natural consequence to hitting someone bigger is getting hit back, harder....but she won't do it.

Any tips from anyone??

My 2 y/o also will tantrum for a good 45 minutes when he is put in his room or time out for something. He always takes his shoes off (not sure why...something to throw) and throws his bedding off his bed. I always make him pick it all back up, but I think that is just his way of getting his anger out and he thinks he is being really naughty. I will try to talk to him during this time and he will just scream and yell. Typically I don't try until he has calmed down then he will sit and listen and give hugs and say sorry.

Just going a little crazy is my house of opposites! :)

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