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2 4/20/12 8:29 A
Thinking of starting a blog to coincide with my attempts to lose weight, this is my first entry, what do you think?
Am I being honest with myself? In the last 2 years, have I ever given a weight loss regime a fair shot? Is my head muddled and confused with various conflicting regimes and advice? Do I think, oh well if I have that juicy T-Bone steak, thatís all protein and low carb which is fine, and if it has fat through it thatís fine too because fats are ok (Atkins). Do I think, oh well, this time Iíll have toast and low fat spread, which is fine as itís only so many syns etc. Then thereís the cheats, 3 hot wings from KFC, a variety meal for lunch, a big bag of chocolate twirl pieces, strawberry laces. Food makes me happy, it really does. It is also my biggest enemy and ultimately, could be my downfall. Iím already HUGE. My mum summed me up what that non-PC, no nonsense term yesterday, I had been asked by a friend to be groomsman at their wedding, so out I went, hoiking my 25 stone and not insubstantial butt into the suit hire place. I walked in, the guy looked me up and down nervously and said ĎHow can I help you?í When I told him I was part of the wedding party and needed measured up, he shuffled off and said Ďback in a miní. In the 5 loooooong minutes waiting on him returning, I looked at the sizes of suits, biggest waist I saw was 46Ē, I knew I was right royally screwed. He came back with the biggest jacket he had, I squeezed into it, it looked absolutely ridiculous and too small by half. The game was up. He said, ĎI have a black suit that would fit you, but nothing in that colourí. I shuffled, out of the shop, slightly humiliated, downhearted, and ashamed of myself. I got home and told my mum the sad tale, she phoned up another suit hire shop who she believed specialized in Ďbigger sizesí. And so came the moment I have previously alluded to Ė she said ĎHello, I was wondering if you would be able to help me, my son is looking for a suit for a wedding, and heís absolutely HUGE!!!í HUGE, I guess thatís what I have become, and my mum had no qualms about describing me as just that on the phone with me listening in the room.
I reflected on the fact that I have been trying to lose the same stone in weight (but the first of many I need to lose) since the start of 2012. I had lost it, put it on again, all in the space of weeks. I knew, just knew, after my easter exertions that when I went back to my slimming class, that the heap would be back on me. I have tried, I have eaten healthily 70-80% of the time. But the weight isnít bulging in any substantial way.
So I had to pull out of being groomsman at my friendís wedding. Iím not hitting the panic button yet, my own wedding is slightly over a year away. But I have a huge task. 5 stone to be lost in a year. 1 and a half pounds a week for the next 52 weeks, all sounds very achievable doesnít it. So why do I have so little belief, so little faith, and not enough application, to make it a reality. Iím failing, Iím getting fatter, and I have had a wake up call hit me smack right in the middle of the forehead. You are HUGEEEEEEEE!!! I know it, but still part of me doesnít accept it, that Iíve got to this stage, AGAIN. They say itís easier to lose it than it is to keep it off, I think thatís true and Iíve proven it in the past, but right now, Iím finding it nigh on impossible to just lose it!! Help me!!!!
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