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A wife to be proud of and want to show off



 
 
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STLCARDSFANS05
Posts: 916
9/7/12 8:43 A

no matter what you do...keep those lines of communication wide open with your husband. good bad and ugly...put it all on the table. these are the things that intimacy is really made of



UNIQUEGIRL259
SparkPoints: (901)
Fitness Minutes: (229)
Posts: 10
9/6/12 10:25 P

Thank you, that made me smile. Honestly, there is more to my issues in this area than just my desire to look good for him. Since we got married about 2 months ago I have been struggling a bit with feeling kind of depressed. I wont go into detail because thats not what this site is about, but there is an area in our relationship that is new to the both of us since getting married and it isn't going very well and its causing me to feel a bit depressed and I think definitely affecting the way I feel about myself but I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I'm trying to fix things though, I know we will get through it I just need some encouragement.



STLCARDSFANS05
Posts: 916
9/6/12 11:07 A

i know what you mean about wanting him to want to show you off...but lets all not forget...a wife is a life partner, a soul mate. you will make a beautiful, hilly, sometimes hectic, sometimes crazy, sometimes sad, sometimes worry-some journey together. please do not lose sight of the fact that when he looks at you he sees you very differently than you see yourself. be healthy, well, and strong for him and your future family and you will always be the wife he wants to show off!!!!!!



UNIQUEGIRL259
SparkPoints: (901)
Fitness Minutes: (229)
Posts: 10
9/4/12 11:02 A

I have definitely started to feel good about myself since I started losing a couple of inches and getting closer to my goal and even passing a couple of my goals and setting new ones. Although my husband hasn't really noticed that I have lost anything or look any better. He doesn't think I look any different than the pictures of me when I started high school, which is bad cuz I was really chubby and not a very attractive girl. Even though I have been more cheerful and have had better self-esteem, I'm not really sure how to get him to notice those things. My mother always tells me that my dad never notices those things with her either, and she has lost quite a bit of weight with me. Men...lol



LEELOODIUM
SparkPoints: (629)
Fitness Minutes: (1,498)
Posts: 24
9/2/12 7:03 P

I know what you mean about the victoria secret models plastered all over the walls. Guys gawk at those photos. I put on a lot of weight after I got married and so I felt even more insecure plus I felt bad since I felt like my H deserved better. I've started eating healthier and working out again and I'm already feeling so much better about myself. I don't think a slightly overweight girl bothers them that much, but a girl with low self-esteem does. They really respond when you're feeling good about yourself.



UNIQUEGIRL259
SparkPoints: (901)
Fitness Minutes: (229)
Posts: 10
8/25/12 10:26 P

Yeah but at least if you are skinny then all they have to worry about is getting healthy rather than all the risks of being overweight and having a hard time losing fat. I checked out that website, very interesting. There are some poeple in there that I would never consider to be "overweight." I found a cool BMI calculator though! It calculates not only your BMI but your waist-to-height ratio too and shows you a chart that determines the shape of your body. http://www.webmd.com/diet/calc-bmi-plus Made me feel good about myself seeing that because even though I came out like 2 stinkin pounds "overweight" in my BMI, my body shape is supposedly "healthy." Wish I could see it that way. Sometimes I wish I could see myself from someone else's eyes just to see what I look like to everyone else and if it really is different than what I see when I look in the mirror.



SCTK519
Posts: 2,085
8/25/12 1:13 P

That's so frustrating sometimes. I know people like that where they're like 'I ate a whole pan of brownies last night' and you can't tell. For me, I'm like did see how big my butt is now and I had A brownie :) People who are thinner though and do not work out or watch what they eat are not necessarily healthier than those of us who may carry more weight but workout. I'm 5 lbs overweight for my height, but my BP, cholesterol, resting HR is Excellent! Without knowing your height and weight, you wear a size 8...that IS skinny. How much would you need to weigh in order to be skinny or what size?

Google 'BMI Project'...the flickr link; it's kind of interesting. People sent in pictures of themselves with their height & weight and it will tell you if they're normal, overweight, or obese, etc. It's interesting because there's a lot where you would never put them in the obese category, etc.

Edited by: SCTK519 at: 8/25/2012 (13:20)


UNIQUEGIRL259
SparkPoints: (901)
Fitness Minutes: (229)
Posts: 10
8/25/12 10:54 A

Well, he certainly could be a male model for sure. I don't understand how he can eat so much junk and be as thin and toned as he is, he doesn't even work out or play sports anymore but hasn't gained an inch. Be nice if I could eat anything I want and be skinny and good lookin. =P I know they are airbrushed but they still look good even without the airbrush. I don't want to look anorexic, I just want to know what it feels like to be skinny.



SCTK519
Posts: 2,085
8/25/12 9:59 A

The models in the mall aren't really though. They are airbrushed to hell and back, not a real representation of women. Everyone's different too; that's why there are different shapes. I don't think there's a woman who is going into the mall and just grabs a size 6 off the rack and it fits perfectly. I'm an pear shape, so pants fit in the waist and then not in the hips; I have a friend who needs to buy the size up in tops cause she has a large chest. I don't have a problem with getting in better shape for your wedding, but too many women do crazy things to get thin for their wedding and then spend time after when they've gained the weight back or had babies talking about how they want to be as thin as they were at their wedding, when you never were that thin to begin with and got their starving yourself for weeks or months prior.

As you've stated, your husband loves you as you are. I'm assuming he's got to be a male model if you're so worried that he deserves better :)



UNIQUEGIRL259
SparkPoints: (901)
Fitness Minutes: (229)
Posts: 10
8/24/12 6:17 P

Seeing all of the support I could have had, I definitely wish I had found this website when I was trying to get as skinny as I could before my wedding! I have now been married to my husband for about a month and a half. Sad to say, I did not meet my expectations for my weight loss before my wedding. Although I think I majorly of set myself up for a let down when I expected myself to look like a Victoria's Secret model for my husband on our wedding night. I have always had self image issues since childhood and I still battle them for sure. Doesn't every girl feel a tad bit insecure when you walk into the mall and see a giant picture of a mostly naked model that guys gawk at when they walk by? I'm not an extremely large person, I can wear small shirts and a size 8 dress, but when I look in the mirror I feel so disappointed in myself because of my body shape and the amount of fat on it. I feel like even though my husband loves me and chose to marry me and spend his life with me, he deserves better.



 
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