Fitness Minutes: (1,735)
2/11/12 10:20 P
best way to say this "Bad boys aint no good,Good boys aint no fun" i like a nice guy but alot of guys who are nice arent that great either. some of them have no backbone and wont stand up for themselves. some of them are just too nice for their own good and you get bored after a while. we as women all know that the bad boy is going to do nothing but break our heart but we are willing to take the chance and have fun while we can. some girls have " fixing syndrome" really bad and they ignore the red flags; plus really believe that some day he will turn around and realize he has a good women on his hands and will do anything to keep her. some women see the red flags but dont care because the sex is so good. bottom line women like men who arent going to take stuff from anyone including us.
Fitness Minutes: (979)
60 2/11/12 2:50 P
I think all of those apply.
When in the context of nice guys wondering why the girls they want all go to tough guys, though, I think -sometimes- it's more a question of guys thinking they're nice when they're really just passive. Which can work for some people, but if you don't make any real moves, of course she's going to go toward somebody who does.
Fitness Minutes: (503)
616 2/10/12 4:48 A
I think there are a variety of different reasons women go for or seem to find the bad boy rather than the good guy. I have always found or been attracted to "wrong partners". They all had some major fault that sensible women wouldn't be gullible or stupid enough to end up with. For me:: *I think low self esteem. *I excused their faults, coz I thought "poor you". That goes back to excusing my step fathers actions. *Sometimes it was taking on a "wounded sparrow" , helping them. *Also I always felt dumb, I was taught as a kid that I was extremely dumb-so I believed that. And I never thought a guy in a suit would look at me. Coz they'd be too intelligent. Some women have been abused, so they seem to "find or be found by similar people. I think male role model can effect that too.Women often go for similar personalities as they were brought up around. I like "nice guys " now. Or, in my case guys that are right for me. Because I believe I have learnt my pattern of thinking to figure out where I was going wrong. But sometimes "looks" rule people's judgement, and I think most people are influenced by an "attractive " person. I think "looks " get people places that unattractive people wouldn't even know about. It is just human nature.
Funny someone replied on this recently; a young female co-worker of mine recently got married and said she married the "nice guy" because she finally grew out of the bad boy phase. The guy she married had waited for her for 4 years after juts a few months of dating him she said that the nice guy thing was too boring and that he was the type she could marry when she was ready. he really IS a nice guy.
Fitness Minutes: (35,515)
24 2/8/12 9:53 P
Basically, I think it's because a lot of girls think that nice guys get boring. They're consistent. They call when they say they will, show up on time, are there when you need them Jerks are sometimes, but other times aren't. Feeling like you have to work to keep someone seems to be the attracting factor here. Also, some are REALLY good at pretending to be decent guys for a few months (or until you sleep with them) and then the true colors come out. Kind of like that girl who seemed really cool the first time you hung out with her, to get you to like her, and then you find out how much of a drama queen she is.
I once read an article that compared it to two different types of vending machines: the nice guy always gives you one soda. One day,after months and months of consistency, it jams and you get nothing.The jerk machine sometimes doesn't give you a soda, sometimes gives you one, and every once in a while you get two!! this makes your day and you forget how pissed you were the times you didn't get the soda. So you keep going back to the jerk machine.
pretty much sums up my entire teenage dating years. thankfully smartened up after that.
So to all the nice guys out there, girls do eventually "get it" after getting heartbroken so many times. Eventually the smarter ones realize this pattern comes from dating jerks and they start looking for the nice guys instead of the douchebags. Just be patient, we realize how good we could have it eventually :)
Edited by: JEQUERIDA at: 2/8/2012 (21:57)
2/5/12 2:09 P
I always attracted nice guys and looked for that..even if they looked like bad boys, were nice to me. Only one time was the rug pulled from under me, but that needed to be the end of the relationship, and it was. The key is to find someone you like as they are..no fixing needed. The next thing is someone tha is mentally stimulating and you find interesting. There will be way more in commom and they will remain interesting to you and you to them. Going by looks only never works. My mom always taught since I was little....( translated from Spanish to English roughly means)..."You want a man with muscles in his brain and not in biceps" and to a degree she was so right.
So, can't relate to the jerk fixation..always stayed away.
Edited by: TOTALREDO2013 at: 2/5/2012 (14:09)
Fitness Minutes: (766)
2/5/12 1:32 P
Because, well, at first they hide that they are jerks. In fact, they are overly sweet and caring. Then after a few months their true colors show and you sit around wondering what happened to the guy they used to be. Then you somehow convince yourself that they are just in a bad mood, that it's not who they really are. As time goes on, you realize you were fooled and then convince yourself to leave once you realize they won't change. But if you have low self esteem, as you mentioned, then you might stick around because you don't want to be alone.
For me,Ms. Fix, but then,No,1. I was afraid I couldn't do it on my own,that if I left him I "would die." Of course I was young and listened to too many songs about that BS.
Fitness Minutes: (47,111)
1/11/12 10:42 P
I'd say the reasons listed are pretty accurate.
I've never like jerks, nor have understood women who did. Not attracted to "bad boys" nor ever dated any guy because of the car he drove (you date the guy, not the car). I've never perceived jerks as strong, either.
Then again, I love the Three Stooges so what do I know. Nyuk-nyuk!
Let me catch a guy doing something nice for someone or being polite. Add a smile and a sense of humor & I am putty!
The article lists these as the five things about why some women are attracted to men. 1.) She has low self-esteem 2.) She's Ms. "Fix-it" 3.) She Doesn't See It 4.) She's a Drama Addict 5.) She's Turned On By His Percieved Strength
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this website can be used without the permission of SparkPeople or its authorized affiliates.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.