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TRI_BABE Posts: 2,938
2/22/13 11:01 P

Thanks so much you guys. I don't know why certain members of my family are not supportive of my exercise. My sister and her husband used to be more critical of my running, but now that I am staying with them for a while they seem to be better, as I think they see I do it for my well being and because I love it, not due to some obsession.

With my Mom it is different. I don't know if it is the exercise itself. I have been noticing (as well as my sister and her husband, while she is visiting us too) that when she gets stressed about something or is tired, she will take these little "jabs" at me. She did it a couple of other times today, on other subjects. It is annoying. I try to ignore it, because she is 76 now and so I don't think she will change and it only causes conflict.

As another person said, I can't control what she says to me, but I can control my reactions to them. This almost made me not workout today, I felt bad for some reason I had not run since Wednesday and the debate about what to do almost caused me to run out of time to do anything. But I went downstairs and did the DVD workout (Insanity) so it didn't ruin my day.

I agree with not talking to her about exercise as well. It is just sad that she can't be supportive of it. It's not like I am going to a bar and drinking all the time or some other bad habit like gambling.

Thanks all for helping me keep my resolution up!

ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,484
2/22/13 6:05 P

The bottom line is you have to take care of yourself. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and avoid a conversation that you know, will end badly. Good for you for listening to your body.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
2/22/13 5:53 P

Good mind set for not caring.
My mom tends to be that way with food. Every time I talk about how I've been adjusting my diet, she always says "Well once in a while isn't bad... Special occasions..." etc.

I'm just glad I don't live with her anymore. Family awesome, and I certainly love mine, but they are only supportive in theory.

You can do this! Just ignore the words of those around you. You seem to know what you're doing.

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,948
2/22/13 2:17 P

With some Mom's, there is NEVER a good subject. You just gotta get through the conversation or (like others have said) be vauge and change the subject.

Been there done that, and still doing it sometimes. I realize now that anything I said spurred other comments, no matter which way I spoke.

I finally came also to realize that I can't control her. I can only control my reaction to her.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (141,995)
Fitness Minutes: (212,360)
Posts: 20,886
2/22/13 2:06 P

TRI_BABE,

Don't let your mother's comments get under your skin. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I agree, if talking about any exercise or running you do leads to a confrontation of some kind with your mom, then it's time to change the subject or avoid it all together. You don't need the grief.







BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,328
2/22/13 1:58 P

"I am just going to do my thing and who cares what she says or thinks."

BINGO!

Some topics can be real hot-button issues, where there is just no right way to hold the conversation without creating hard feelings. I would be inclined to make your exercise routine a no-go topic. Don't bring it up with her, and if she asks you about it, just be vague ("routine's going along great, thanks for asking!") and then steer off into some more neutral ground.

TRI_BABE Posts: 2,938
2/22/13 1:47 P

I was talking to my Mom, who likes to make these little "digs" at me, about running today. I took yesterday as my (one) off day for this week, as I slept poorly and felt tired. I normally run with a club on Saturdays anyway, so mentioned to her that maybe I would take today off from running and was about to complete my sentence with, "and do a DVD inside instead," when she jumped in with, "Seems like every day is an 'off' day for you lately."

WTF? I normally I workout 5-6 days per week anyway, but I made a New Year's Resolution to workout a solid six days a week every week this year, which I have not broken.

I explained why I took yesterday off, not that I needed to explain myself anyway, and then she got on my case for "always needing to think about what she says to me before she says anything."

She is also conversely the first to chime in that I am being OCD with exercise at other times, too.

I don't know. I am already tired today due to other things but this just added to it. I guess with some people, you can't win for losing...

I am just going to do my thing and who cares what she says or thinks.



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