Since my dad died in August, I've been experiencing what I think is anxiety. When good things happen, I'm happy, but once I'm out of that moment of euphoria, my stomach starts turning in knots and I feel guilty about things that aren't my fault. I have trouble falling asleep at night because I can't stop thinking.
A lot of this is about money. Since I've been married, we've both been unemployed, we both got jobs that paid less than we did previously, and neither one of us has gotten a raise in 3 years until yesterday. My raise was about 80 cents on the dollar, which, while it IS a raise, it's not what I wanted or what I thought I was worth. Unfortunately when I was talking about it with my boss, he was saying a $1.75 an hour increase, which would have been fantastic if it had been for a 40 hour workweek, but we're doing it on my regular 36 hour workweek. That's a $40 a week difference.
We're not broke, but we're trying to pay off debt without living like we can't do ANYTHING. We eat at home or bring leftovers 20 meals out of the week. We go to the movies once a month and then it's a matinee for $5.50 a person. We hardly ever buy ourselves anything. We can't save because I have loans and credit card debt and it's driving me crazy. I just want something really good to come our way so I don't have to WORRY about money anymore.
My husband has been trying to get a promotion at work for 2 years and they keep overlooking him. In October they interviewed him for a supervisor position, and then said "hey you WOULD have gotten the job but we're not hiring for that position right now." WTF, mate? So now the position is open again and one of the managers is on vacation so they're not starting interviews until February, even though everyone put their resumes in in December. If he doesn't get it this time I am going to be PISSED. You don't tell someone they WOULD have gotten something, then when you offer it again take it away from them.
This promotion would be huge for us. It would DOUBLE his pay. We could pay off our credit card debt AND our loans by the end of 2013 and FINALLY start saving for a house, which is my one dream. That and we could maybe take a REAL vacation, as in one where you don't go to visit family.
We've been working for this so long, and my husband hates is current position and is depressed and anxious all the time. I want him to be happy again. I want US to be able to relax and not stress all the time.