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HANDYV Posts: 23,229
5/17/12 2:08 A

I adopted both my son and daughter. They are 26 and 23 now. Neither one has expressed any interest in searching for birth parents. I could not love them anymore if they had been my natural children - which I have none.

JORULES Posts: 50
5/16/12 10:48 P

Yes I would like to adopt some day. I have two adopted sisters. With my back I cannot lift so they would need to be older and our house is too small to meet the requirements. So maybe someday. That does give me some hope. And I can be happy regardless. I am blessed with so much. And as a wise therapist once told me life isn't made to be fair. So feel sad and then try to move beyond that sorrow. It is healthy to say to yourself you know what that isn't fair and I feel sad. Anyway. It is a vicious cycle but we are stronger for the challenges. Hang in there everybody. Life is a funny thing emoticon

RICCILYNN Posts: 2,452
5/16/12 4:01 P

I was diagnosed at 31 with infertility due to diminished ovarian reserves... basically that I have a low egg count and those that I have aren't in good shape. The fertility specialist informed me of this after he put me through a year of insemination treatments and that he "knew" when I first came to him that I'd never have my own children. Then last year, at age 40 I found out I was pregnant... 2 weeks later I had a miscarriage. At this point I am fairly well into peri-menopause and doubt that another pregnancy will ever happen. 3 years ago my sister who lived with me got pregnant and had a baby and everyone expected me to be OK with her and the baby living with me. No one even considered that every minute of her pregnancy killed me and that I could not wait for her to find her feet and move out. She finally did last year and I am at least a little better with things. Now everyone at work seems to be getting pregnant. I just wish them well and then go close myself in my office to cry. The other day the latest new mom came in with her baby and someone asked me if I had gone to see her and she didn't get it when I said no. Very few people do.

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,948
5/16/12 3:18 P

My parents found out they could not have kids and adopted me.

When I found my birth family and my sisters, I felt sorry for the problems they had to deal with.

Six years ago, I found our brother. He was also adopted. We have both had good lives. Oh, his parents were told they could not have kids and had 3 after adopting him.

Adoption is an option.

JORULES Posts: 50
5/16/12 1:06 P

Thank you everyone for sharing. I wish the best to all of you!!!

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (234,358)
Fitness Minutes: (204,160)
Posts: 7,178
5/14/12 12:05 A

My husband and I were told that we wouldn't be able to have children. We had a beautiful daughter after being married for twelve years. She was a wonderful miracle and is now 24 years old. She is BEAUTIFUL and her name is JULIETTE NICOLE.

EOWYN2424 Posts: 5,795
5/13/12 11:29 P

I'm approaching my 40s, single and childless.

I can't ever have kids because I have SLE and I'm on dialysis.

TACDGB Posts: 6,132
5/13/12 6:22 P

I struggle so HARD with mothers day. I had one miscarraige and no babies. I still long to be a mother. The desire is still so strong. I tried adoption........didn't get to. Tired other medicial things...didn't work. Yes I got a dog. And no that didn't even help. Been a aunt to a child. No that didn't help. Taught preschool.......no that didn't help. So at 56...........I still want to be a mom.........for me a sad day.

CATIEBELLE Posts: 5,732
5/13/12 4:03 P

If being a Mother is what you desire you do not have to give birth. I know a lot of women who can and have given birth but they are not Mothers. I know adopted kids who look and act just like their parents and you wouldn't even know they are adopted. I know many women who I call my other mothers and they are just as special and I honor them on Mother's Day just as much as my Mother who gave me life. Personally I did not enjoy being pregnant and could not wait for that part to be over because I was sick from day one to delivery and felt like I had a virus. I am sorry for your inability to bear children but in this world they are so many opportunities to be a mother so please try not to close off your heart.

DIDS70 Posts: 5,070
5/13/12 3:37 P

i found out 4 years ago that children would never be part of my life. It killed me at first as I would have made a great mommy, but God has other plans for me. so I will adopt a dog and be a mommy to an adorable little 4 legged furry friend and be the best Aunt to my siblings kids instead.

MLAN613 SparkPoints: (163,180)
Fitness Minutes: (159,792)
Posts: 10,617
5/13/12 3:13 P

Honestly, my husband can't have kids and I am okay with that. I have not placed my eternal happiness on whether or not I have kids. Even if we wanted to try IVF or IUI, we couldn't afford it. We have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and are happy with that.

JORULES Posts: 50
5/13/12 2:51 P

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry about the infertility. I thought I was totally okay but today is still hard. Mine is due to back issues and cannot carry the weight. I am 31. Regardless we are all strong women! emoticon

AMANDACARLESKI SparkPoints: (6,779)
Fitness Minutes: (2,043)
Posts: 230
5/13/12 1:57 P

I'm 28 and have been trying for 6 years to have a child. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility 5 years ago which was a bit frustrating. If we could afford to do IVF we would, but it's just too much money to spend (possibly multiple times) for something that still may or may not happen. This is the first year that I haven't cared about Mother's Day. I have three cats and they seem to love me so that is good enough for now.

SYMPATHYDATE Posts: 649
5/13/12 9:30 A

I'm 37 and have yet to have a child. I want to thank you for posting such an intimate topic.

JORULES Posts: 50
5/13/12 8:01 A

If You are a woman who for some reason or another can't bear children you are NOT ALONE. I know it is hard to talk about so I am going to start. Have you ever cried when someone tells you they are pregnant. Well congratulated them and then ran home and cried. I have too many times to count. It is not easy to talk about in a world that having no children is not "the norm" And especially on mothers day it is the hardest. To be honest I usually skip church. But today I have decided that it is going to be okay today. I have two dogs....doesn't that count? Yes but it is hard when women talk about the joy of feeling a child inside of them. Yes there is always adoption but I am talking about not being able to create a child who looks like you, acts like you. I know I am not the only one. It can be an emotional roller coaster but again YOU ARE NOT ALONE. at least let me know i am not the only one who wishes for support.

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