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JADOMB SparkPoints: (95,819)
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10/18/12 9:50 A

Good for you. many times a person that loves space, never gives it. Partnerships are often difficult to allow all to feel equally treated. Even if they truly are, there are perceptions that they aren't. So folks need to do what they can, when they can and communicate when things are good and bad. It's the only way to let the other person know that something is bugging the other.

EWILLIAMS1000 Posts: 217
10/18/12 2:26 A

I know the best way to get my DH to help is to step back and let him help how he wants to. The things around the house that bug me the most I do myself. I like help with getting the garbage out, some of the cooking, baby care, he willing does this stuff as long as I don't stand over him waiting for a mistake. He gives me space and I give him space, It works.

MRSMAGISTRA SparkPoints: (6,092)
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10/17/12 3:46 P

I know it can be hard to motivate your hubby to help with the housework. I cannot give you any advice there, your relationship is unique and I do not know how you both relate to each other. =) But I CAN say that stress eating is very common, and something I still struggle with occasionally. The best thing I have found is to cut back on my reactions to stress. I clean our home on Fridays, when he is at class, and do just the basics on the weekends. I try to walk when I am stressed, and if I come home and am still hungry, reach for my standby, a glass of organic apple cider. I hope you have a good day, and remember we are all here for one reason, to lose weight and support others who are trying so hard !!! Email me if you would like to talk, and just do your best !!!!!!!! emoticon

JADOMB SparkPoints: (95,819)
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10/15/12 3:05 P

I'm happy for you. It's great when ALL are invested and doing their fair share. Most the time it just takes a "business plan" to help others see the big picture. Keep the faith.

LMILTON67 SparkPoints: (6,853)
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10/15/12 2:40 P

Thank you for the response. We live in an apartment so no outside work (at least until we find a house to move into!) My daughter and I sat down with my husband late last week and did have a conversation with him about helping out more, especially on the weekend, especially with the dogs. He was really good about helping out this past weekend and walked the dogs more.....hopefully it lasts. I don't want him to do all of it, but I do want him to help out more, especially since my daughter and one of her friends are planning on getting an apartment by the end of the year so I won't have help around the house in that department!

JADOMB SparkPoints: (95,819)
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10/14/12 1:57 P

I really don't know what one can say to FIX this. I haven't heard his side of the story and I don't have the spread sheet in front of me to see exactly what he does and you do in this marriage arrangement. As I've told other women that have posted similar posts, are you really wanting him to become your house maid? Are you really sure he isn't doing many things outside of the house that you don't help him with? Is this the battle you want to fight? Are you truly being taken advantage of, or are you just nagging?

In my marriage, there are many things I do that I don't ask my wife to help with and really, don't want her help. Yet she surely does seem to want me to do some house work to help her. And I don't mind it, but it does have to be on my time, and my way. (unless of course, she can logically verbalize a better way). Too many times though, women want it done one way only and want to boss the other around. Men don't take to well to that and they also may have a better way or at least an equal way. So these are battles that spouses have to choose wisely so as NOT to ruin a marriage over a soap ring.

But if you truly wish to take on this task, then there are many ways to go at it. One is to just stop doing it and let things build up until he notices. Or, sit down and have an open and peaceful conversation with him to look at what all is needed to take care of all you guys have. But I have yet to see ANY man that like nagging or bossing, so be careful of that. Good luck

LMILTON67 SparkPoints: (6,853)
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10/8/12 12:46 P

I eat when I'm stressed and I get stressed when I eat too much! I can't win for losing. And I know I shouldn't let the little things get to me. But sometimes I just can't help it. Take this past weekend. I worked my butt off cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms on Saturday. I asked my hubby to do the dishes on Sunday, twice! He just laid on the couch and said I'll get it. So I finally went and did it myself and he got mad at me! Said by my actions of not letting him get to it in his own time, that I called him a liar. The same thing with cleaning the yuck from the tub. He works an industrial job and comes home filthy and grimy. That stuff sticks to the sides of the tub bad when he takes a shower. I asked him a week ago if he would scrub it for me. He didn't, I finally did it Saturday. I know he works hard but I work too and my daughter who lives with us has 2 jobs. She and I do the housework and take the dogs out most of the time. He even gets upset when I ask him to walk them and one of them is HIS dog! Then he gets mad if they have an accident in the house. I don't think it's too much to ask that he help out around the house, especially on the weekends. I especially don't think it's fair for him to expect the two of us (my daughter and I) to keep the kitchen clean all the time. I usually have to come home from my job, clean dishes, cook dinner and if I'm not too tired clean them up again. I just want some help around the house and I don't know how to approach him with this without making him mad.

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