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Do you get along with your future MIL ?



 
 
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BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/30/12 8:18 A

Nic did not ask her intentions when they argued on the phone. I have been guessing correctly with this drama, and I think she will file a formal contestment. She wants be to get out, and with my visa expired on 12/8/2011, that way I will be forced out of the country.

I asked Nic what he thought, and he said everything will be fine.... for me not to worry...

I think, I may have the worst MIL in SP !! I can't wait until I can speak french ..i need the bad words only !! emoticon



SMCS28
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1/29/12 6:33 P

BONNIE, What happens if she does object? Do you have to cancel the wedding? Or is this just a formality that no one really worries about anymore?

She is NUTS....I hope she does not actually object....that could ruin her relationship forever with her son....



SUPERSYLPH
Posts: 1,204
1/29/12 12:02 P

BONNIEBONNEAU, is she trying to find out to object herself or is she trying to get others to follow?



BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/28/12 10:30 A

as of today- Nic and I found out by his friends, that MIL is calling all of HIS friends, asking if a date has been set , because in Paris, you have to do a public posting of your wedding date- in case anyone has objections..they can stop the marriage .. thus why she is calling around - our post goes out monday , we set our date for Feb 14th.

This woman i want to pop in the face ! she was married , and divorced ! She does not like me, and I am not fluent in french yet .but trust me..if i was..she would not want to hear what i have to say..she is a simple bitter bit (female dog).. emoticon



JENPEN1602
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1/27/12 10:11 A

I do not get along with my future MIL. She is crazy. She is already talking about how she is going to help with the setup and takedown of the wedding and all of this stuff - while asking my fiancÚ quite frequently if he's sure he wants to marry me - she just isn't sure that I'm the one because I don't return HER text messages. We got along fairly well until his birthday last year when she said that she got him something (which I had told her I was thinking about getting him), so I didn't get it. And it turns out - she didn't actually get it for him. I am probably being petty, but now I don't talk to her unless I have to.



BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/25/12 3:42 P

ty for all the posts! i am glad , i am not alone in this MIL issue ..or Monster in Law .lol emoticon



BELLA8214
Posts: 13
1/25/12 1:53 P

My MIL and I get along great...for the most part. Since Jeffrey and I have been together I have felt like his family has always been apart of mine. When Jeff and I got engaged is when my relationship with my MIL started to get a little rocky. She is a city person and I am a country person. Her first comment about out wedding was "I hope you don't plan on having a hillbilly wedding". Very rude in my point of view but I have learned to just ignore her little comments about how our wedding should be. Over the past 4 months she has calmed down with trying to control the wedding but I fear it may get worse closer to the date (which isn't until August 2014). Overall though I am very thankful to have her as a MIL. :-)



SUPERSYLPH
Posts: 1,204
1/25/12 11:33 A

JSTALT01, That sounds like the mother-in-law I had! Lol!



JSTALT01
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1/23/12 2:22 P

My MIL= monster-in-law



BTTRFLYBEAUT
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1/19/12 2:21 P

I love spending time with my MIL and actually wished she didn't live as far away as she does. I always enjoy spending time at her house. And from the first time I met her, have felt very comfortable visiting her. She has really opened her arms to me and my two daughters.



KITTEN_351
Posts: 486
1/18/12 12:04 P

I get along with my future MIL, to a point. We've had one major blowout in the 4 years I've known her and it was only a few months ago, but I walked out and we gave each other space.

Haven't had any issues really with the wedding so far though. I don't really talk much about it to her, she doesn't really put in input, other than her dress. And I had to buy her dress for her because she's on state-aid, but that's nothing new.

My only arguments with her have been over her behavior over money and her need for other's pity, but I haven't ever tried to be polite and stifle my feelings about her behavior and neither has my fiance. She knows that we both don't like certain things she says or does, so it really helps that my fiance is on board with everything when it comes to his mom.



BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/16/12 8:45 A

ty for the posts, i am glad to hear there are some nice MIL's out there .. emoticon



MOTIVATEDKAT
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1/12/12 4:00 P

Anybody could get along with my future MIL. She is so sweet, understanding & so family orriented, I just love it. We go up to the future IL's cabin and stay the weekend, they are so great. And they've taken in my kids as if they were their own grandkids. They are very special to me.



HOURGLASSSHAPE
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1/12/12 12:44 A

My MIL is a jewel. She is great!!!



PRINCESSMANDIE
Posts: 4,820
1/11/12 3:36 P

I love my future MIL. We get along pretty well. I'm so very happy she isn't the stereotypical MIL I hear about from other people. I definitely got blessed with her as my FI mother.



ROSALIND35
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1/10/12 10:24 P

I get along pretty well with my mother in law. There's nothing I can say bad about her. My fiance and I have set a date, but my thing is how do I stay motivated to lose the weight? I am not necessarily concerned about looking perfect for the big day, I am more concerned about my health. How can I be a good wife and mother if I can't take care of myself?



BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/10/12 6:17 P

we are getting closer to setting our date , the paperwork has been very long - we have made a decision not to tell MIL the date, in case she decides to come and create some drama on our date .



BIGBALLS86
Posts: 12
1/9/12 4:04 P

i love my MIL to be, and all my ILs they're a great family and always go out their way to take care off me, wish wife to be was a bit more like her mother haha, good luck all hope you have a great year emoticon



BONNIEBONNEAU
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1/4/12 11:15 A

ty for all the honest posts. i think mil and i are in a stale mate now. ever since we changed the locks on Nic's apt, so she can't do anymore "drop in 's "..



SUPERSYLPH
Posts: 1,204
1/2/12 11:05 A

That's pretty crazy, SMCS28.

Moth my mom and MIL are toxic people, but my husband's step mom is the bomb!



SMCS28
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1/1/12 11:31 P

My MIL is in florida....and she's awesome....my whole fiance's family has been great....

my own mother, on the other hand, SUPER B*TCH....she has "issues" we'll say...and they have gotten worst since we got engaged (less than a month ago)....

When I showed her my ring (yeah, it's big and sparkly and quite impressive) she asked if I was worried if someone would stab me....I was like "what?"....when I told her no, it's insured, I would just give ti to a mugger...she said 'no, what if they come up behind you and stab you for it?' WHO SAYS THAT??????

Then, my sister and I were discussing which wedding bands we were considering (she's engaged too), my mother brought out my grandmother's engagement ring....it was the ring i always wanted.....we looked at it, i tried it on, we discussed me getting it fixed (it needs a lot of repair), etc.....then she called me into the other room and told me I can't have the ring, that I can only use it for the ceremony.....to which i replied, "then what's the point? i fix it and size it, it WON'T fit you...why would i do that and have to buy a different band anyways?".....

I WISH MY MIL was here.....



BONNIEBONNEAU
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12/14/11 4:11 A

ty for all the posts; and i feel the pain ! ..its so strange to me -why a mother would act like this ...i think the other way..ok, finally someone is getting added to the family !! and he is settled in ..with a nice woman , and hope grandbabies are coming...i do not get the hate thing at all.. emoticon



JAGODDARD4
Posts: 163
12/13/11 9:23 P

I do for the most part but she can be a little passive sometimes.



LDSTUMF2012
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12/12/11 11:47 A

Mine fiancÚ understands too. He has stood up to her for me when she started to call me names or talk bad about me in front of others. I am hoping it gets better after we get married. I have always wanted a good relationship with my MIL and thought I was building one. Only time will tell.



SMASH637
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12/11/11 9:35 P

You have my sympathy! My MIL and I never had any issues until the wedding planning started - then, all of a sudden, I became evil incarnate. Things have calmed down a lot since we got married, but the poster below who said that what matters is how your husband handles it is right. I can't say that we're done working on this, but I think mine starting to realize that that his mom's behavior can be a bit off the wall at times.

On the other hand, I have a girlfriend whose MIL dislikes her, and is actively mean to her. Unfortunately, the result has been that neither she nor her husband has a relationship with that side of the family.



LDSTUMF2012
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12/11/11 1:15 P

My MIL to be and I used to get along until she knew how serious me and her son were. After he proposed she hasn't spoken to me nor wants too. The last words she said to me was that he is may baby boy and will always be and you can not do anything to stop that. It has been the hardest thing ever since we got engaged because we had a great relationship till then.



BONNIEBONNEAU
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12/6/11 7:09 A

ty for the post , yes , i do not think anyone has ever stood their ground with her , and I am doing that now, also as a test , to see how Nic reacts to this ..so far, he has been great, supporting the decisions that allow us to be a couple in peace..



EMMALEIGHB
Posts: 630
11/20/11 11:20 A

My MIL to be is my boss. Talk about some complications. Her office is DIRECTLY across the hall from me and she can see and hear everything I do all day long. I get to see her 6 days a week... and I have even spent the night at her house. SCORE.
With that being said: at work we get along aces. She is so funny, and we laugh and laugh and work together very well. At home it is another story. I find her extremely degrading and belittling at times. I tend not to talk when I am in her home, mostly of fear that I am going to be the one in the wrong. She has complete control over my fiance. If he and I do anything to upset her she will tell my FIL and he will tell my fiance and poof she gets her way.
BONNIE** Set your boundaries now, and stick to them. You and your hubby to be need to decide what is ok and what is not. Then tell her, and hold her to it.



BONNIEBONNEAU
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11/18/11 1:32 P

omg ; yes ,she is toxic. Nic told me, that he had problems with his mother and his past gfs. He never thought , it would blow up so big - he thought, it would be a "little picking at me" , that's all, not this war ..but Nic is starting to set some boundaries, she does not call the apt. anymore, because now i answ the phone ! ha She does call his cell, and now, he is starting to turn it off in the evening, so we can relax . ty for the posts ! emoticon



SUPERSYLPH
Posts: 1,204
11/3/11 7:27 P

I don't get along with my MIL, and neither does my husband. We stopped talking to her because she's a toxic person. We consider his step mom his mom because she acts like it!



BONNIEBONNEAU
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10/27/11 8:06 A

ty you ladies ...i love getting the feedback,! emoticon



MELNKISER
Posts: 39
10/25/11 10:57 A

STCK is right; I went through this with my first MIL and let me tell you, that if both of you don't set boundaries from the get-go, these sorts of situations will continue to occur. He must tell his mother to back off, because it won't matter coming from you.

I imagine, it isn't comfortable for him to have to be the wall between you two, but if that's the role he was given in the relationship he should be willing to deal with it. If he loves you and he's worth it, then trust me, he will.



SCTK519
Posts: 2,085
10/24/11 8:21 A

I think the key in this situation is how HE handles it. When his mom wants the divorce paperwork, HE should be the one to stand up to her and say that's ridiculous. Nic could be right that she'll get over what this is, but he also needs to stand up for you. My fiance & I have trouble with my parents and he'll comment often about how much he appreciates that I've stood up for him and been on his side. And it's true, I care about my parents, but they can't stop me from being with the person I love and it would say so much about me if the second my parents said something stupid about him that I left or whatever.



BONNIEBONNEAU
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10/24/11 4:51 A

I will tell you, I do not. And this has caused me to hit the breaks a little with Nic. She calls everyday and "worries" for him. Two weeks ago, it was - she thinks i never got divorced, and she wanted the paperwork - she can't even read english ! The point i made with Nic, she is always placing a seed of doubt in his mind, so I go so mad, I showed him my email file, with the docket number etc..I told him, She can wait until H freezes over before I show her anything.Nic thinks she will get use to me, and stop this as time goes by. What do you think ? emoticon



 
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