First...accept the fact that you DESERVE joy! Second...accept the fact that you are SMART ENOUGH, WORTHY ENOUGH, & COMPLETELY CAPABLE to have the joy.
Next, tell yourself your sorry for everything you have done that made you feel like you were a failure.
THEN...start healing minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.
Sparkpeople is full of people who feel or have felt the same way you do. But just like all of us you have taken the first step towards healing and allowing yourself to be joyous. Take advantage of the tools, read the success stories, go through the teams and find others who have similar weight issues/life issues; there are specific teams for overeaters, binge eaters, emotional eaters, compulsive eaters, also for divorcee's, parents of all ages, etc. And sparkpeople are some of the sweetest and kindest and UNDERSTANDING people you will ever meet.
We are here, if you need to talk anytime just hop on...someone is always here to help.