128PERFECT, it's a very hard phase of life - at least it was for me. When they leave home life changes forever. One of my boys has been gone for 11 years, the other one left home about 8-9 years ago. I still miss them a lot. This is life. They must spread their wings and they must fly on their own course - this is what's best for them and will build character & independence. Turns them into men & women. The 1st year is the hardest and I'd only advise that the more you can become involved in activities that you genuinely enjoy the easier it will be for you to make this transition. I still remember watching my own wonderful mother letting go when I left home. She was the very picture of grace & calm ~ never letting on how very difficult it was for her. After going thru this myself now I know what she experienced and can tell you, it's one of life's most difficult challenges. Just try to stay busy, involved with other people, maybe take a class you've always been interested in, take a deep breath, bless him and let him go. God bless you.
My wife and I are recent empty nesters. We really enjoy being able to focus on just each other and not worrying about our two young adult children. We have a bit different situation than most. Our kids moved out of the house, then we put it up for sale. We are moving almost 900 miles away from them and will miss having them close by.
I recently accepted a job transfer and have relocated to Orlando. Right now my wife is still in KENTUCKY until we sell our home which makes it very tough. But we are both looking forward to starting a new chapter in out life together. After 28 years together and raising two wonderful kids I get my girlfriend back.
It was an adjustment at first, but I have learned to love it. I gave parenting my all, often putting off things I needed so the children could have... time, clothes, music lessons, etc. Now I have the 'me' time I did not get much of during the 23 years I raised children. There are still things I miss not having them under my roof and in my every day life, but I raised them to be self-assured, independent human beings and that is who they are. I feel blessed, really.
Fitness Minutes: (20,222)
4,458 11/2/12 7:32 P
I thought I would be so lonely, but hubby & I are really enjoying our empty nest!
I remem,ber that feeling.. but there's also a joy in knowing that he is competent enough to be on his own.. that's your great success.
We've been empty nesters for a while and there are pleasures to it... erratic schedules, spontaneous adventures, weird meals.... and it is a joy when they come to visit or when we go see them.
The changed relationship is really good.. there is no greater happiness for me than knowing that I not only love my sons, I like them and respect them as individuals. If I met them as strangers, I'd like and admire them.
both our children have bounced back and forth a couple times, but I think it may be permanent, now.
Now, our son really wants us to be able to move closer to him (and we'd dearly love it, too) - both our children are in the same Province, so anywhere in the same Province would be closer to both of them
Fitness Minutes: (2,126)
849 10/31/12 2:13 P
We are empty nesters and loving it. My hubby and I are dating again and feeling younger.
Fitness Minutes: (119,784)
8,352 10/31/12 1:37 P
Perhaps your life will cycle like mine. After moving to the big city for 5 years, my daughter moved back and lives just a few blocks from me. I keep her 2 kids six days a week and I cook for her, her hubby, and kids three nights a week.
Wishing you peace. Perhaps reenergizing some old friendships or finding some newfriends would help until the cycle comes around. I've enjoyed meeting my local SparkTeam members, gym mates, running group, and cycling group. That way I get support for my health efforts and get to socialize, too!
I also enjoyed a lifewriting group. Writing about his growing up and all the great times, and challenging times, you shared with your kids could be very therapeutic.
My husband and I BOTH miss our kids. But we are proud of all that they are and all they accomplished... we did our jobs well!
How sad that the OP's husband doesn't miss them....
Fitness Minutes: (5,526)
10,103 10/31/12 12:49 P
Yes, can relate somewhat... we've launched our 2 eldest out of the nest. They are happy, successful adults now. Missed them when they went, but happy they are solid on their feet. We have four more to go...
It's so hard to imagine it when they are growing up. My oldest hasn't even moved out yet (he's planning on transferring colleges next fall), and my youngest is only 11 so I haven't even had to deal with this. On the one hand I think I'll be excited to see what the future holds for them, but on the other hand I think it will be so hard. I just know my house will be unbearably quiet after raising 4 boys!
My youngest son moved out yesterday. I so miss him already. I am very proud of him and happy for him, but I do not like how big this house is and how empty it is. And of course my husband does not get it.
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.