My husband is a pastor and sometimes if it is someone close to us that he is doing the wedding for then he will just say that it is our wedding gift to them. We gave our pastor $50 to do the wedding even though he said he didn't want anything. I would definitely do something - even if it is not money, at least a gift card to a Christian bookstore or something.
I actually work for a division of the Lutheran church, and here is what I have learned.
A friend of mine who used to work at the synod level told me to pay the pastor $200--and that less would be seen as an insult. Know, too, that some pastors, if they are working at a congregation, may take the mindset that they have already been paid for their servies as a pastor by their normal call and donate the money back to the church. (Again, their choice, but just know that.) In my case, I'm planning on paying the pastor $200 in an envelope marked with the pastors formal title. Then, I will also get a gift card for the pastor too. (In this case, the pastor is someone that I work with.) I want to make sure I get her something just in case she tells me that her gift to me is performing the ceremony. Either way, I want her to know that she is appreciated.
WOW! I didn't realize how much i was actually paying. My Officiant charges 450$ just for her services.. that doesn't include church, flowers, etc or anything else... so when i saw a gift as well.. i was like.. ohhh geez- but now that I see some give 50$ ... I can see she is well over paid, and thats enough. Thanks for the post!
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5/5/09 2:27 P
I think I am going to do $50 as well. They did not specify plus I am paying $1000 for the package. Hopefully that will be enough as I am on a fixed income.
The person marring us is my fiances brother who is a Baptist minister. Even though he is family and will be there for the reception we plan on giving him a little something maybe $50 or so.
4/27/09 1:23 A
As a pastor, a monetary gift is nice. I never ask for a specific fee and am bothered by those that make it very clear about how much they charge, but any counseling or preparation mettings, ceremony preparation, putting the vows and message etc together, the rehearsal, and the actual ceremony itself DO take a lot of time that you might not see. I know many think that preachers are working for God and don't need to be paid, but they also have needs and families too.
I've been paid as little as $50 and more often somewhere around $100 depending on the family, income, and the demands for time and specific details placed on the minister.
Actually, tipping has become a HUGE question for me...
I've heard that it is not necessary because an officiant usually is working "for God" and is "expected" to do it free. However, ours in a judge and he set his scale and said "anything between 100-250. We are going on the higher end and not tipping.
But my question is about all of the other service providers..how much is everyone tipping? I may just start a new post so we don't get off topic here, but I'd love an answer if anyone has one.
I've always heard you still want to slip him a little something.Say a 50, or whatever you can afford.Put it in an envelope and just have someone pass it to him later.It's also protocal to invite them to the reception.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a gift for the pastor? He is doing the ceremony gratis as we are both members of his congregation, but we would like to give him something for his time. Is money appropriate? How much? Would a gift be better? Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!
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