Thanks guys for all your help! I have done chore charts and allowance in the past. Maybe I will start that back up.
Crackerjack - I love your idea about going on strike! I think I may try this one too!!
Fitness Minutes: (37,891)
1,693 7/5/12 11:18 A
There are just so many ways to make so much in life, "teaching moments". Since I brought up the allowance thing, let me expand on that. First, some folks don't like it, but many do and I am for it if done right. I created a system that gave them age appropriate amounts of money and even gave them a little extra for age(seniority). So my son (who is 2 years older than my daughter) always had a little extra until they grew out of the allowance age. In which case, my daughter still received it for 2 more years.
As I said, make it a teaching moment. No matter how much I gave them for allowance or what they got for birthdays or other events, they had to divide it into 3 parts. One long term that went to a bank(when they are real young, you can be the bank), one mid term which goes in their piggy bank and one they can carry or use for most anything they want. So they were able to have an immediate reward, plus a savings that they could pull out in Nov/Dec so they could buy gifts for others and themselves, and one they got to pull out once they reached 18. They got to learn how to use and save money. To this day they show good sense in money the receive and how to save and/or spend it. So just an added thought on using allowances for getting kids to do their chores.
Fitness Minutes: (11,189)
262 7/5/12 10:36 A
I can fully understand what you're talking about.You feel like everyone expects you to be the maid, the mom, chief cook and bottle washer. You need a day at the spa, sweetie!!!!
Here are my ideas for what you could do.
LAUNDRY: Depending on your oldest child's level of maturity, teach him/her how to run the washing machine. My daughter is ten and does laundry sometimes for me. I just drew a line on both machines with a Sharpie where the arrow should line up and let her go. I explained to her how much detergent goes in the machine and how to separate the loads. She washes and dries clothes as good as I do. WAY better than her daddy, who does not even think to check pockets. Also, every bedroom and bathroom needs a hamper. Clothes that do not make it into the hamper do not get washed. Clothes that are left laying more than a day (two at the most) get tossed in the trash.
THE CAR: I also have this problem. Our house is about half a mile off the main highway, and when we turn off I tell my daughter, "Okay get your shoes on, round up all your stuff so you can just grab it when we get home and get out." We also designate a few bags of groceries just for her to carry. Mostly the bread and boxed items so she doesn't break anything. I learned that lesson the hard way when a two dollar jar of spaghetti sauce shattered all over the porch. NOT PRETTY.
Your kids obviously have certain things they enjoy as far as books, toys, video games, etc. Use those things to get them to do what you want them to do. I don't mean hang it from the ceiling to tempt them, but give them their chores and then if they don't do them, take their games away. Nothing hurts my daughter more than hearing the words, "Bring me the Mp3 player and the cell phone." Cause that's her only forms of entertainment besides the TV and computer. Those things are HERS.She can call her friends and listen to her music, most of which I have no desire to hear.
Chore charts are a great idea. Use stickers to keep track of what chores get done by who. You can use one color for each child and go from there. And yes, a five year old can help with laundry. Let the baby fold wash cloths and dish towels. The eight and nine year olds can help load the dishwasher. Give everybody a basket and tell them to gather up their stuff, take to their rooms and put it away. Husband, too.
My final idea is a little harsh, but I've done it and nobody died, so you could give it a try. The night before you do this, make sure to have juice boxes and pre-made snacks for the kids, that way they can hit the fridge for sustenance. Your husband can fend for himself while you
GO ON STRIKE!!!!!
I'm serious. Go on strike. Unless someone is bleeding, broken or dying, don't do anything all day. Let the kids snack on veggies and cheese, drink juice or kool-aid, entertain themselves, and order pizza for dinner. Eat off paper plates and drink from plastic cups. Read a book, catch up on TV shows you've missed, or whatever you feel like doing. Even better, if you can afford it, wait until a day when your husband is going to be home all day and just leave him there with the kids and the laundry and all that stuff. Go to the spa. Spend the day at the park watching the ducks. Do something for YOU, so you'll be able to do stuff for THEM.
Fitness Minutes: (37,891)
1,693 7/3/12 5:52 P
I had the same problem waiting on my wife and kids to mow the lawn, paint the house, change the oil in the car and machinery, clean, check and balance the swimming pool, trim the hedges, etc. My point here is to really look at what each of you guys are doing before you ask for help in the area you have chosen to take care of.
That being said, yes, have a meeting, balance out the work and stay with it. Your kids are too young for some things, but keeping their room clean is doable. I gave them a weekly allowance and that was part of what had to be done to get it. I inspected every Saturday morning before I paid them. Whatever was NOT done was deducted from their expected allowance. It didn't take long before they took care of what they were suppose to do.
During the week, I did NOT nag them about their room, but anything outside of their room was either picked up and thrown in their room or taken away. Depending on what it was. I had a friend that used to pick up their things and sell them back to them at the end of the week. Good idea.
Other things is to use TV, video, phone, etc. as an after things are taken care of privilege. Be sure to check their homework to make sure they are NOT rushing through it to get to talk on the phone. At one time, my daughter was only able to talk on the phone from 9-10 pm to make sure she focused on her homework and chores.
Be creative, but firm. Keep the Faith.
Fitness Minutes: (2,812)
246 7/3/12 5:16 P
My kids are 5 and 7- no husband. I say things like- we aren't going to _____ (the pool, a party, etc) until you bring me all of the dirty clothes. As for spouses, I think they just take what the other does for granted. I'm sure he is thinking something about you being home all day now and him working. Tell him how you feel (without nagging) and ask for a day off. Or bribe him. I know you shouldn't have to, but sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. My ex wanted me to lavish him with praise every time he did something. - Oh honey- thanks so much for emptying the dishwasher!! I felt like I was praising him the way I praise a child who does something they are supposed to.
You aren't alone. Everyone feels taken advantage of by their family at some time or another.
Fitness Minutes: (25,260)
1,237 7/3/12 11:26 A
It happens here all the time. Call a family meeting and ask why things are changing and why they are not helping.
Set up a reward system, if you do all your chores for the week, you get to pick a movie to rent/buy.
Take away the video games, or their favorite thing until they start helping again. Husband included!!!
It is summer time, schedules go out the door....try to get them back on a similar schedule from when they are in school. Wake them up early, breakfast, clean, have story/reading time, etc. Clean rooms before bed, pick up dinner dishes and put in kitchen...
Why is it in my family of 5 I seem to be the only one to clean up after myself and everyone else??
I am a teacher so I work through the yr. and I am off in the summer. I have a husband and 3 children ages 9,8 and 5 1/2. I can't seem to keep up with the housework and it is about to drive me insane!! I have to tell everyone (my husband included) what to do to help me out with everything. I have asked my husband who works in computers to set up the kids a computer with internet safety. I am still waiting on him to take care of that! It's been a month or 2!! AHHHH......I went out to fill up our cooler for a swim meet today and my husband didn't empty it from the last time.....GROSS!! Nobody is helping with laundry and for 5 people I have to do it daily so I don't get behind. Why is it that nobody will do laundry as they are walking over dirty clothes?!?! I understand having to tell the kids what to do but my husband.....come on! I have to tell them to do dishes, laundry, pick up clothes, blankets, food, plates, clean their things out of the car, etc. They know this is part of their daily chores. I am just feeling so overwhelmed and like I just can't get ahead. Is anyone else in the situation? What has worked for you? I have no idea what else to do. Help!
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