If you aren't overwhelmed, you can also swing by my page and see if we might be good support for each other. I am not going through this alone this time, I do have my boyfriend who is going through it with me. The problem is he sees it all as black and white. "I want to lose weight, I will workout and eat better. Done." AND HE DOES! He goes to the gym like it's not an option, he realizes it is a lifestyle change and doesn't worry about fluxuations.... I don't take all of these so lightly even though I know so much about losing weight as I have been constantly researching it for the last 10 years out of interest.
Back to the point, he doesn't understand my struggles and it would be nice to chat with someone who feels the same way. If you are already suffering from smoke inhailation from all of the signals people are sending your way, I won't take it personally if I don't hear from you!!
Wow, from lonely to overwhelming. You guys are fantastic! I think I"m finally understanding what everybody means when they rave about the SparkPeople community. Thank you all for your wonderful advice and offers of support. I'll definitely be checking in with each of you individually so expect some Spark Messages and/or comments on your pages soon! Oh and did I mention thank you? Well, maybe I did, but THANK YOU!!!!
Fitness Minutes: (185)
43 4/20/12 1:30 A
Sending you smoke signals from the west!
I feel ya--I have a lonely job and no friends nearby. Actually, even if I count the friends who are not nearby, it brings me to a grand total of 2, and I rarely talk to either. Most of my facebook friends are people who've sold me a home or performed chiropractic work on me.
Point being, I suck at the whole friend thing. But I do like reading the posts, especially on the Done girl team. Everyone's pretty nice and non-judgy. Check it out.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
4/19/12 10:52 P
Hi. Lonely, too. Maybe depressed. Hoping for just lonely. Want to lose 50 lbs. Hell 10! If only I worked like a farmhand cause I eat like one. Will check in on you again. Good luck to us both!
Fitness Minutes: (4,551)
4/19/12 9:04 P
Hi...I'm in NY...we can talk if you wish. I'm an older Mom of 2, with a husband and 3 dogs. Let me know!
Fitness Minutes: (19,138)
405 4/19/12 7:12 P
Hi there! I'm Jen, and I definately better not send a messenger pigeon, I live in BC, Canada...poor thing would likely die before it got to NY.
:) I'm always looking for motivation/struggle buddies. Feel free to check out my page, and see if you think we'd click. Short version: 38, married, 1 step-child (lives away), no pets, full time job. Trying to lose 15-20 lbs that has crept back on after losing 60 lbs a couple of years ago.
Vegetarian (but not preachy/pushy/trying-to-recruit'ish)
Usually stop in 1-2 times a day during the work week, sometimes on weekends as well.
I was going to send my messenger pigeon, but then I realized I didn't have any protein to cook up for dinner and....yeah, I'm gonna need a new messenger pigeon. Its great that you identified your motivation and something that will help you be more successful. I'll be your buddy - go check out my page and see if you think we will click. I am the mother of an 11 week old daughter, and I have been working out vigorously since she was 3 weeks old, getting up at 5am to workout before she gets up and then going for long walks pushing her stroller and carrying her 500lb suitcase, er, diaper bag, on my back. I just began to run this week. So let me know!!! Otherwise, if you know a good messenger pigeon distributor....
Fitness Minutes: (257,790)
4/19/12 11:05 A
You seemed to have made a break through ! One thing you might do is join more Spark Teams. that's a great way to connect with other members who have similar likes. There are a bunch just for NYC.
Also, do you have a gym membership ? Another good way to meet and make buddies is at a gym where you can try different classes. A group exercise class is another great place to find motivating people. Have you talked to any of your friends and relatives ? Perhaps some of them would be interested in joining you in your journey.
But one thing you do have to keep in the back of your mind is this, at some point you may lose your buddy (for whatever reason). When that happens, and it does happen, you need to find ways to stay motivated on your own. I know it's great to have a buddy, but what happens when that buddy isn't there ? Maybe they go on vacation. Maybe they change jobs. That's the time we have to look deep into ourselves to find that motivating to keep going without their help.
Something finally occurred to me the other day as I collapsed into bed after another long day. A day that did not include the workout I had "planned" (and by planned, I mean I set my alarm the night before with the intention of waking up early to do yoga or go for a run) but DID include a few heaping handfuls of Teddy Grahams. The realization? I can't do this alone, and that's exactly what I've been trying (and failing) to do. The question is why?
I've heard it said that when you're struggling, you shouldn't focus on things you did wrong and try to avoid them. You should focus on the times when things went right and what it was about them that set the stage for healthy actions and decisions. It's been a long time since I've kept to a healthy lifestyle and even longer since I did it seemingly effortlessly. That time, when it seemed easy, or at least automatic was way back in high school when I was on the varsity track team. I know, it's a long time ago and it's unrealistic to believe I'll ever really be back in that kind of shape. But it certainly was a time when things were going right health-wise.
I've thought over and over about what it was that made that time so conducive to eating right and exercising every day. Was it the competition? The responsibility to my teammates to be in top form? The personal goals of lowering times, pushing harder, being in the top three fastest on my team? The encouragement and direction from coaches? Probably all of that played some part. But even when I wasn't improving my times, when my coaches ticked me off, or when others were better than me, I still showed up. By my senior year, I wasn't really that competitive because of scheduling conflicts, but I didn't quit even though it probably would have made things a lot easier. Why not? Because some of my best friends were on the team with me. We didn't have classes together and track kept us so busy that there wasn't a ton of time for a social life. But we had each other, and for two hours a day, we ran, joked, gossiped, flirted, talked, and hung out together.
Ultimately, that's what made it all worth it. It was fun. And usually, that fun was not a direct result of the workouts our coaches put us through. Those were a (sometimes painful) necessity and we bonded over our mutual determination to push through them. The fun came in the sarcastic, teasing remark thrown over a shoulder as you lagged behind in a windsprint, the mutual complaint about our coach's single-minded desire to push us to our limits, our doubts that he knew what he was doing and wasn't just trying to work us to death (he wasn't, and we won because he did in fact know what he was doing). Camaraderie and friendship. That's what it came down to. If that was the time that things were going right, why am I not trying to repeat the best parts of that? Why am I trying to do this alone? I don't have a clue actually.
So if there's anyone out there who wants to buddy up, bond over mutual difficulties, cheer each other on in success, and build something that will help us both, I'm all ears, virtually and literally (I'm in NYC!). Send me a Spark Message, comment on my page, send a smoke signal, messenger pigeon, or anything else you might think of, because now that I know I can't do this on my own, I don't want to be a loner and longer.
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