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ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,705)
Fitness Minutes: (296,898)
Posts: 27,211
6/11/12 11:51 A

I agree, don't send that email ! If this co-worker is being disruptive to the work environment, then you have to take this to your superior. Don't write an email because that will just worsen your relationship with this person. I see your email, not as conciliatory, butt as an escalation in the tension. It's not your job to discuss the situation with this person. It's your superior's job to act as mediator if this person is being disruptive and creating a hostile environment with in the group. If your manager feels a reprimand is in order, they'll do it.

This email is just going to make a bad situation, worse.

CRYSTALDANCER SparkPoints: (106,701)
Fitness Minutes: (123,442)
Posts: 3,069
6/11/12 11:45 A

No way, don't do it.

I also agree with the pp who said there are too many "you"s in that e-mail. That kind of phrasing makes people immediately go on the defensive.

UGAKATE85 Posts: 2,630
6/11/12 11:32 A

Oooo definitely not. Regardless of your intentions, the email comes across as confrontational (and the last part about their wife just seems kind of hateful). IF you still feel like you need to address this issue, it's almost always a good idea to phrase things in "I" language (yes, the cheesy thing they teach to elementary aged children). "I have an issue, I feel like, I wish things were addressed differently," etc. Then it doesn't seem like a direct assault on this individual. Just some thoughts, hope it all works out for the best!!

RICCILYNN Posts: 2,454
6/11/12 11:30 A

Definitely no... I can't see any way that the recipient wouldn't get defensive over this. If you are really concerned about his behavior, discuss it privately with your supervisor and see if he/she has heard similar complaints. Then let the supervisors handle it. And the paragraph about his wife and your liking her better at this point is really not good... it pulls your personal lives into a work situation which will only result in your losing the friendship.

RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
Fitness Minutes: (11,285)
Posts: 3,116
6/11/12 11:16 A


CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
6/11/12 7:41 A

OK, you asked for a personal opinion, and I'll give it.

Oooooooooooh, I don't like that wording.

If I received that, I'm afraid I would get my back up in the air.
There are too many "you" phrases - like you're laying the blame entirely on the lap of the recipient. I'm not saying that's not accurate - I'm just saying that people don't like hearing things addressed to them in that way - because they get VERY defensive.

Telling someone you like their spouse more than them isn't very helpful, either (just saying).

Is this problem impacting your own work performance? (sorry if I missed that, in case it was there). If not; leave it alone, especially since you say you are only co-workers (even if friends outside work - leave work where it belongs; not in the privacy of personal relationships).

If the problem is impacting you at work, consider discussing with your supervisor, WITHOUT using names. If this is someone you're going to have to work with for an extended period of time; muddying the waters will not make it easier.

Using company resources, even in the form of electronic e-mail, for personal matters isn't always the wisest choice, either. That back-up of e-mail may come back and bite you.

I have a feeling you're going to look like the meany, the bully, and the wrong-doer if you proceed with your plan of action.

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
6/11/12 4:33 A

Don't do it.

IBECCA Posts: 2,131
6/11/12 12:39 A

naaa, don't do it!

SCALE_WATCHER Posts: 2,739
6/10/12 8:51 P

Be at peace and don't get involved!

FIRECOM SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
Posts: 5,855
6/10/12 1:26 P

You didnt state if you worked for this person, or if he/she works for you,or if you are equals in the company. I you are the persons supervisor, I would approach it on a personal meeting basis and document results. If you are equals, it might be time for a one on one over a cup of coffee outside the office. If you work under this person, approach it with great caution. Anything and EVERYTHING in writing is there forever, especailly email. Man, do I hate petty poiitics and I am so glad that being retired, I dont have to face that again.

BTW, I got caught in the crossfire once or twice so I have a fairly good feeling what you are going through.

Edited by: FIRECOM at: 6/10/2012 (13:27)
BJPENNY70 Posts: 4,806
6/10/12 1:23 P

This will come back to bite you. I answered your blog. Don't try to handle this problem. The person being disrespected should do something about it not you.

KNITTINGNAN SparkPoints: (18,076)
Fitness Minutes: (6,314)
Posts: 553
6/10/12 1:16 P

Being retired from a place where such pettines occurred daily, I advise you not to get involved in office politics. There are people who actually get paid for addressing such behavior at the work place. You need to be focused on your own health, which will be compromised by the stress of this aggravation. Support your co-worker without being sucked into the drama. Good luck!

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 26,440
6/10/12 1:02 P

Don't do it!

6/10/12 12:40 P

will do!

MSNOMOREFLUFFY SparkPoints: (7,562)
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Posts: 209
6/10/12 9:00 A

Please visit my blog and give me your honest opinion about my post. Thank you for your time.

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