I kind of had this problem with my wife in the past. I would get on health and exercise kicks and I would try to motivate her as best I could but it wouldn't take. She just woke up the other day and was good to go. Hang in there, you love him right? You just gotta be patient and let it happen.
Thanks guys! I guess I just need to chill out and let it happen. I've not said anything to him in a few days and yesterday he came home and very proudly told me he went all day without drinking any soda. :-) so maybe he's starting to catch on.
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,110 5/2/12 9:14 A
You can't. And if you bother him, he'll throw your attempts into the nag category and tune you out.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is lead by example. When he's going out for pizza, you hit the gym. When he offers you some chips, say no thanks and grab an apple. I wouldn't be snooty or snide about it either, just make it clear (through your actions) that you're no longer going down that path. Inevitably he'll probably ask 'why'. At this point, I would take a really positive tone with him. Something like ...
"You know, I've really been feeling like crap for a long time. I finally decided to do something about it. I've been making some better food choices and getting a few minutes in at the gym and I feel A LOT better. I know you're not into this sort of thing, but if it sparks your interest, it'd be really cool if you joined me". And leave it at that.
With all of that being said, expect some rocky times ahead. There is a good possibility he'll be negative towards your efforts and probably poke fun at you a bit. Push through it. I wish you luck.
So we just finished learning about motivation and decision making in psychiatry, and I can tell you that if he's not ready it's just not going to happen. Be patient, compassionate and encouraging. Share your success and excitement with him. Make him a part of your journey and he may start coming around.
Fitness Minutes: (58,720)
3,055 5/1/12 9:10 A
KJ about hits it all. I would add only that it has to be something that he WANTS to do. If he feels forced he will resent it. There are also what I would call "rewards" programs if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Most men can be motivated by certain inherent "incentives" that you may be able to offer!!
Good luck, but if you love him, you love him no matter his shape.
Fitness Minutes: (39,816)
471 4/30/12 9:26 P
If you are going to stick with him then ditch the fatty foods in the house. You said he puts a half a stick of butter on your meals, get rid of the butter in the house. Go with all nonfat stuff, at least that would be a start...
Message #1: Love him as he is because love is deeper than body.
Message #2: leave him a.s.a.p. because he's on a one way streak to type II diabetes and all the lovely (sarcastic) things that it brings.
Message #3: Silly, you can lead a horse to water (better health) but you can't make him drink it.
Message #4: "Honey, I love you so very much so that's why you're hearing this; in one year from now if you're not on a solid path to good health I'll be dissapointed in you and I can't be with a man I'm dissapointed with."
Message #5: Make him go on a diet, make him resent you, make him the one who'll leave the relationship.
Any answer will be some variation on the above messages. It's gonna be tough, it's gonna depend on how much you can endure, good luck and for now; I'd keep setting the example and not judge.
My fiancÚ and I have been together 3 years and have both put on a lot of weight in this time. Over the past few months I have reevaluated the way I've been eating and started exercising. On my own I have lost some weight. But my fiancÚ is still reluctant to embark on this journey with me. He continues to eat things he knows are terrible. I know it's crazy woman talk but when he piles his plate up or throws half a stick of butter on top of whatever healthy meal I've made for him I can't help but feel its out of spite. I don't want to be a nag but I have genuine concerns for his long term health. I've offered to excersise with him. I've tried showing h how much money we could save. Nothing works! Does anyone have any suggestions?
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