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MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (1,281)
Fitness Minutes: (1,876)
Posts: 1,049
10/22/12 2:14 A

Burn it off in a work out

PAISLEYOWL140 Posts: 83
10/8/12 2:38 P

Flat out ask her what her problem is with you. It could be that she feels like you are replacing her in her sons life. Or she could just be a flat out b!tch and doesnt like anyone. To control your anger take up a kick boxing class and take the anger out that way. Think of the bag as her head.

NVRDWN88 SparkPoints: (6,343)
Fitness Minutes: (4,551)
Posts: 341
10/3/12 6:01 A

For the most part I always tell myself life is short ...what benefit will getting angry do and try and realize I need to calm down....unfortunately it is not fail proof ...then I feel bad or guilty later, but I do my best...I really hate anger ....hate it hate it hate it ....I get so angry thinking of anger i just wanna smash that emotion with a hammer or step on it jumping up and down on it ....oops sorry started getting angry again..LOL

DEL-AND-COMPANY SparkPoints: (10,621)
Fitness Minutes: (3,550)
Posts: 1,341
10/2/12 3:39 P

I remember how bad I will feel for losing my temper if I do it. Some things just can't be taken back...

FUNNYGIRLJESS SparkPoints: (4,596)
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Posts: 201
9/30/12 9:51 P

When people make me angry, I try to control it by taking a breath and waiting for a good time to let it all go.
Going to therapy helps, feels like a professional is listening. He says don't go to anyone else with your problems, they can't help in most situations...unless you love drama in your life.
But prayer works, I pray for more strength.

LREIGLE SparkPoints: (10,115)
Fitness Minutes: (5,377)
Posts: 265
9/30/12 12:56 A

I control mine with medication, its hard finding anyone to talk to that wont go around telling everyone!

AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
Fitness Minutes: (26,637)
Posts: 1,600
9/11/12 9:29 P

BOBAFETTBARBIE: I can really sympathize with you, having lived with someone similar. At least he is willing to get help, but is he really taking his meds!? Sounds like something is wrong. I would definitly put your foot down about seeing a proffesional again. Can you have access to his doctor, and call him and talk to him? Or ask your hubs if he is really taking his meds, because you noticed some things..try not to be accusatory, because he'll only defend himself...is there a way to talk to him? Just say you noticed that he hasn't been feeling well, and you are concerned.
I know it can be hard to not point fingers at him and say 'you this and you that, but say more sentences that start with 'I' like "I noticed you haven't been feeling well...things bother you more than usual...I'm worried about you..."
I do have to say one thing though. The person I had to live with no longer lives with me. That person spun more and more out of control, brow beat me and the kids, pointed out every little mistake I made, beat me over the head practically for them, and eventually betrayed me. It was 16 years of terrible ups and downs. Take care of yourself. I've had to relearn how to do that.


BEAUTIFUL8186 Posts: 618
9/9/12 3:45 P

I will try when I see our doctor next week.

STLCARDSFANS05 Posts: 916
9/7/12 8:50 A

wow bonnie...i feel so badly for you? my first instinct is to get to the bottom of her motivation. is she that negative to everyone? is nick an only child? i can't help but see scenes from waterboy flashing in my mind. i'm not trying to be funny but this definitely needs addressed. when you marry, you honestly do marry the family. unless you live far away from her, this needs to be handled head on

SCOOTER412 SparkPoints: (912)
Fitness Minutes: (921)
Posts: 21
9/6/12 10:42 P

the med may make him moody. take to the family dor. for his moods

BEAUTIFUL8186 Posts: 618
9/5/12 9:19 P

I feel like I am going to loose my mind if I have to put up with my moody, angry, rage freak spouse any longer. He is always angry, never smiles, never laughs, always is yelling, throwing a fit, getting pissed off for no reason. He gets mad if there is a drop of water on the counter, he gets mad if you do something wrong ... say something wrong.

I never know when or how to approach him. He gets mad because I don't act the way I used to with him, but HE-- I am afraid of him blowing up at me for no reason like he just did AGAIN for NO FREAKING REASON!

are the medications for anger issues? He has only been diagnosed with ADHD (I think it's a load of bull sh-t, he just likes taking the pills for energy and concentration). He sleeps when he wants to avoid anything (which is pretty much anytime anything doesn't go his way or I am home). He also takes medication for depression and anxiety. I think he is either EXTREMELY bi polar or has something wrong with his testosterone levels or thyroid levels, but I cannot say anything about it without AGAIN him blowing up on me.

HELP HELP HELP!

FITKIZ Posts: 748
11/21/11 4:52 P

I have a MIL who is actually a step (even worse) and she was constantly picking at the both of us. Thankfully, my DH and I were able to move several hours away so I deal with relatively small 'doses' of the woman. However, I found that I still need a mental reset button when dealing with her. Try ignoring her barbs like you would someone else's small and fractious child. Remember you control the dialogue and she can't get under your skin unless you let her. It worked for me, I have no idea how useful this will be for you.

Edited by: FITKIZ at: 11/21/2011 (16:54)
JULIATHIRTY6 Posts: 1,174
10/11/11 5:39 P

oh boy i feel for you lol i to have one of them mother in laws and my husband wont speak up to his mother just so he can keep the peace or so he thinks all it does is make my blood boil you can either accept that it is always going to be like that and bite your tongue or tell her to keep her nasty remarks to herself etc but i shouldnt of thought you would really get through to her but it sure will make you feel better plus i have his sister to put up with to :( goodluck

IRISHJEEPGIRL Posts: 42
10/11/11 2:17 P

I see three options for you.

1. Forget him and move on. There are many wonderful men out there who do not carry their mother's baggage along with their own.
2. Continue to take the abuse.
3. Put Mother In Law in her place and dare her to ever interfere again.

#2 is not really an option in my book.

Best of luck to you.

SWEETDARLA SparkPoints: (2,378)
Fitness Minutes: (935)
Posts: 200
10/11/11 10:33 A

Is he willing to cut all ties with his mom and move far away from her? If not and you still insist on marrying him, be prepared to forever be in conflict with this woman. As the saying goes, a leopard does not change its spots. You can try all you want to be nice and be the 'better person', but some people just enjoy being nasty to others. Your MIL sounds like this type of person. My best advice is to find a man who's mom is nice and live happily ever after.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 16,111
10/10/11 7:39 P

The advice given to you on this thread of yours:

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.a
sp?imboard=61&imparent=25524310&strVie
wThisPage=2


still applies.

Any reason why Nic does not stand up for you?
Are you willing to put up with this for the rest of your life if you marry him?

BONNIEBONNEAU SparkPoints: (29,146)
Fitness Minutes: (36,493)
Posts: 1,378
10/10/11 5:37 P

I am having a BIG problem with my future mother in law - she now is telling Nic , that my resume is full of lies ..also that I never graduated from college ( i showed Nic my hardcopy BS cert) that i never worked with investments , keep in mind , she has never worked in a office..so she has no clue !! But what gets me is the insults, they never stop . Nic knows how angry I am at her , so he is keeping us separate for now....but I am ready to blow my top off if I see her ...i have no problem going toe to toe ..plse share your thoughts.ty

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