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How to approach this?



 
 
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LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 16,015
5/7/12 8:30 P

What did you decide to do, Amanda?



SALSGIVERL
SparkPoints: (2,275)
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Posts: 141
5/7/12 1:48 P

It's difficult to see people who are too lazy to care for their kids. You ask yourself why they had kids in the first place if they are too lazy to care for them. We have a neighbor who refuses to get a job and the father of both of their children refuses to get a job because he "supposedly" has back problems. I've told her point blank that she needs to get rid of him because he doesn't do anything to provide for their family! However he was offered a job recently to make $30-$40 an hour and he was mysteriously healed. haha.... He hasn't started this job yet. I asked him how he's going to handle the pain and he said for $30-$40 an hour he will learn to live with the pain. The mom feeds the kids breakfast at 11 am and sometimes doesn't feed them dinner till 10-11 pm. Her daughter is supposed to be in preschool but because she doesn't pay for it and tells herself it's okay if she misses school because it doesn't matter now but will next year. They hardly have money for diapers and her son will be in the same diaper for 10 hours straight. It pisses me off because she lives in her apartment for free because it's government housing and she gets food stamps. She babysits a couple times a week but that is to help pay for cigarettes and gas for their van. Their kids are always sick and her daughter has a lot of dental problems because she let's her eat whatever. So needless to say, I feel you pain. I don't think our neighbor is as bad but it's a frustrating situation. I've tried helping them but they are so unappreciative that I don't even do that anymore. It's the kids that are suffering.



ANDILH
Posts: 1,197
5/6/12 9:44 P

While I do believe that sometimes well-meaning social works disrupt lives for no reason, I have called CPS when I felt it necessary in the past. As a teacher in an early childhood setting, it's my job to protect my kids. I called on one family because of unexplained bruises and it turned out the kids were pushing while on the stool to brush their teeth. Parents understood why I called and were grateful that I cared enough to make that decision. It's a hard decision to make, but if you're concerned about the child, it's better to address the problems now when his brain is still elastic enough to change and learn.
Maybe the mother has a mental illness herself and a visit from CPS might end up requiring her to get treatment for herself as well.



JADOMB
SparkPoints: (93,673)
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Posts: 1,627
5/5/12 1:52 P

I am totally against CPS since I've seen them totally disrupt some average families. Once they are called in, one never knows where it's going to end. That being said, if it is as bad as you are saying, then maybe they do need to be called. Just be sure that all other avenues have been taken first and you are sure the child's safety is in question. I am always sorry to hear of children in these kind of situations. At least there is one person around that is trying to watch out for him. God bless you and keep the faith.



JENMC14
Posts: 2,707
4/11/12 4:28 P

Yep. If it's as bad as you say it is, I agree with the opthers telling you to call CPS. Maybe a visit from a social worker will be the wake-up call your BiL needs to do something to help this child, if not wake-up his mom.



ZORBS13
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Posts: 13,064
4/11/12 12:03 P

I agree, call CPS.



LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 16,015
4/11/12 11:42 A

Report her to Child Services.



CRACKERJACK2825
SparkPoints: (15,218)
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Posts: 262
4/10/12 3:02 P

My nephew is three. He will be four in September. A lot of people would say this is none of my business and I shouldn't be spreading this all over, but I am truly worried about this baby.

My brother in law married his wife when her son was one. I have noticed little signs that she is only with him for his money (She told me this herself, and he has a good paying job) and to have someone take care of her son, whom he claims as his own. The problem is that this woman is LAZY. She does not work, and when she is home, she's asleep, leaving my nephew up alone. He has been found playing in the road, locked inside my sister in law's car, and playing around my father in law's game chickens. She refuses to cook or clean. You can't kick a path from the front door to her couch, which is three feet, she doesn't take care of her house or her family, and her son is still in diapers. This child is capable of going to the bathroom. He knows when he has to go and will tell his mom, "I gotta go potty." She tells him to use his diaper.

They came to visit us in January. I gave my nephew underwear to put on, and he acted like I handed him the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket. I or my husband would ask him if he needed to go, and he would say yeah, so my husband would take him, as his mother was too busy texting and yelling at my brother in law. Then she got offended that I gave him underwear. HE'S THREE YEARS OLD. We went shopping and he told his mom that he had to go to the bathroom, and she said, "Use the diaper. That's what it's there for." HE told her that it would get all messed up and she said, "So what? That's why you wear them!" She sat at my kitchen table and told me that the only reason he's not in underwear is because she's too lazy to put underwear on him and make sure he goes to the bathroom regularly. This child's nutrition is worse than atrocious. She feeds him twice a day. I AM NOT LYING. I fixed the child macaroni and cheese for lunch one day and he ate like he was starving. She lets him fill up on chocolate milk, never brushes his teeth, and he might get a bath twice a week. My brother in law tries to make him behave and take regular baths and brush his teeth, and his wife pitches a hissy fit and says that "HER son" is fine the way he is.

I know if I say anything to my brother in law, the whole world will go to hell in a hand basket, because everyone (except my father in law) thinks she hangs the moon. Also, I live three hundred miles away from them, so she's always bad mouthing me and my husband behind our backs. I know this because my father in law tells my husband these things.

My brother in law won't stand up to her, he is so mild mannered he won't even swat a fly. If he does try, his sister tells him to keep his mouth shut. My question is, what should I do about the way she's neglecting my nephew? I'm afraid that he's going to end up getting hurt if something's not done, and then she'd be all pitiful and expecting everyone to feel sorry for her, and I'd choke the life out of her with my bare hands.



 
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