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I feel like a failure and so alone



 
 
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MAMA_CD
Posts: 1,479
7/7/12 6:42 P

I know its tough to see that person in the photo, but you have a choice to continue that road or change it, and it is a road, its a healthy road with speed bumps, but with the support of your friends here at Sparkpeople and the many resources available to you, that journey can be a great exploration and you will reach your destiny, the person with the body that you desire.
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DIANAS
SparkPoints: (13,767)
Fitness Minutes: (17,472)
Posts: 371
7/7/12 6:22 P

I have felt the same seeing myself on some photos! But I try to use it as a big encouragement to get thinner again.
It has not been an easy start, but I am willing to put in some more effort. Remember that there's always something you can do about your weight and it's just how much of positivity you put in your mission.
Let the photos be your break point from now on!



1GODISMYROCK1
Posts: 41
7/6/12 1:26 A

I'm sorry for what you're going through. You are not alone. We're here and God is there for you too. Maybe it was a GOOD thing to see yourself that way. It was a reality check for you. That is not a bad thing, but it hurts. =( Now DO something about it. You're worth it. Find a plan that works for you. South Beach Diet Supercharged worked to get me going and I've lost 98lbs now over the last year and a half. I actually LIKE checking out myself in the mirror now. =) I LIKE taking care of myself. I like foods I NEVER thought I'd like. I rarely have those bad cravings any more. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can. Once your body is off all that bad white flour and sugar, the cravings go away. A lot of people find it helps to have someone around to hold them accountable. Do you have anyone like this? You CAN do this!



VICTORY2XS
SparkPoints: (43,371)
Fitness Minutes: (29,630)
Posts: 1,471
7/5/12 9:05 P

I perfectly understand what you are going through.

I also saw pictures of myself with my daughter at an award ceremony. I was so completely embarrassed I didn't have my taken since. So many milestones through her senior year a year ago, and no pictures of her and her mom together because I simply could not stand the thought of having myself captured on camera again.

I cannot believe I was too embarrassed to have a picture taken on her graduation day. That was a year ago, and I have gained 20 pounds since then. Completely the wrong direction!

I try so hard to stay away from ice cream, but it is a losing battle. I had the equivalent of 6 servings of ice cream today, 8 servings yesterday. I cannot seem to keep myself away from it! If there was anything like ice cream with less fat and calories, I would gladly go for it. But I have found nothing that compares.

So the ice cream has control, not me. I want to wrestle the control back into my own hands.

People tell me if I really wanted it enough, I would do it. They tell me I have no will power. I don't have enough positive people in my life to overcome the negative voices. The negative voices of others, and the negative self-talk.

I have been a member of spark people for about three weeks. I am hoping so much that I can find motivation and encouragement here.

So maybe we can help each other!



CELERY1
Posts: 69
6/30/12 9:26 P

I had a photo related discouragement this week, too. I though I had lost enough weight to look ok in a particular outfit, which I wore on an outing. My husband took pictures and when I saw them I realized it was way too soon to be out there wearing those pants! And to make matters worse, I felt so sorry for myself that I ate a goodly number of cookies for consolation.

But, today is a new day with a fresh start. We can choose to start afresh right this very minute if we want to.



BARBWMS
Posts: 1,238
6/27/12 10:59 P

The very fact that you're willing to talk about it and start on the journey is a huge success.... and there are so many of us who truly understand what you are feeling .. you are not alone, you're in my heart for sure... hang in there, one minute, one hour, one day.. and you'll feel so wonderful very soon... you CAN make a difference for yourself.



LADKINSON
Posts: 16
6/27/12 5:11 A

You are not a failure. No matter what size, color, shape, or height we are, thru God's eyes we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Keep moving forward!

Edited by: LADKINSON at: 6/27/2012 (05:12)


GRETA242
Posts: 736
6/26/12 5:22 P

I understand your feelings of being trapped in someone else's body. You are not alone. Begin to love yourself where you are and enjoy this bumpy journey.



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (136,690)
Fitness Minutes: (205,455)
Posts: 20,319
6/26/12 9:30 A

Welcome to Spark People, JZYWIAK !

You most definitely are not alone !! Just about every single member of Spark People has felt the way you feel. While you can't change the past, you CAN change and influence the future. Twice in my life, I weighed over 200+ pounds. About 8 years ago, I decided that wasn't going to happen a third time. That was my starting point. That's when I decided I needed to do something different since "diets" weren't working. What did I do ? I started with some simple changed. I didn't do anything radical to start. I knew I was eating too much junk, so I started by decreasing the number of treats I ate. With time, I added more and more changes.

Spark People isn't a diet. Spark People encourages its members to start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. that's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

That's why I too encourage people to start with some simple goals. Example, if you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies each day, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not used to regular exercise, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved those goals, you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. It starts with one simple change. Because one change leads to another and another and another... before you know it, all those small changes add up into one big accomplishment.

As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for the positive things you do and don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. And it really is important to emphasize the POSITIVE things you do for yourself.

Think progress, not perfection. That really will take you a long way. If you need help, feel free to leave a question or post in the forums. You'll find the Spark Community is not only helpful, but supportive too.







LOVEXAVIE
SparkPoints: (28,579)
Fitness Minutes: (27,716)
Posts: 1,970
6/25/12 10:42 P

Hi JZYWIAK.

First, come here: let me put my cyber arm around you! Big hugs from all of us!!

Photos are so powerful. That is exactly what lead to my embracing all the greatness that Spark has to offer...I was a lurker for a while before, but on July 29, 2011, my orthodontist plopped down a horrendous photo of my up-too-close, round-and-puffy pumpkin-head during my consultation. I was so aghast and busy trying to cover it up w/ my arms, handbag, etc. that I heard maybe 1/3 of what he was saying!

To add to the irony: he's a techie sort and every 6 weeks at appt time, I get to see that photo again as he displays ALL the day's patients on a video board! Bleechhh! Yuck! Get that thing away!

Point is, boy do I understand your pain. So many of us do! I started Sparking w/ the very next meal and I am (now) SO GLAD. From that horrible moment to now...I'm still fine-tuning but let me tell you you CAN do it. While I still feel humiliated thinking about that moment, I can honestly say that if it weren't for that, I probably would still be an 18-20 (or more) instead of a size 8. I have eaten more veggies in the last eleven mos than I did in the last eleven years, and they have been KEY to my success (ha! If I had only known this before, I would have done it years ago).
I have lost about 50 +lbs and feel blessed beyond measure.

YOU WILL BE, TOO if you just take this experience and turn it into your advantage by letting that be your ah-ha moment. Let it propel you to the YOU you know you can be & were meant to be.

I'm actually excited for you! Soak in all the articles...the message boards (the support is second to none, from people that are going through exactly what you are). Do the tracking and for goodness sakes, read the success stories and Woo-Hoo posts so it will fire you up!
Post your own Woo-Hoo's and encourage others as well.

For real: if you put forth the effort, you will succeed. No more diets! I know I will never diet again! Like Nancy said, abandon the notion of perfection. It's not needed nor required. In fact, it's detrimental. Lifestyle, baby.

You can DO IT!!!
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JZYWIAK
Posts: 4
6/25/12 10:32 P

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement I hope to follow your path of success emoticon



GOING4MUSCLE
Posts: 5,223
6/25/12 10:24 P

emoticon You're definitely not alone. I was exactly where you are in 2007 and my eye opener was the one and only before picture of myself I have on my Spark Page.

But you know what...sometimes we need that big shock to our system to get us on the right path. Won't say it's a smooth path, as there will be lots of bumps and curves, and even some breakdowns...but as long as we make all the necessary repairs and get moving again, we can make it to our destination.

You can do this. I so remember how overwhelming it felt, thinking about how far I had to climb that scale downward. But each day got easier to master and soon I found myself motivated in my journey.

So hang tough, girl. emoticon



JZYWIAK
Posts: 4
6/25/12 10:23 P

Thank you I to strive for perfection and have spent all my adult life trying to be perfect at everything. I have a all or nothing mantra that lends failure to my diet and exercise plans. I need to try to improve in that area



SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
6/25/12 7:02 P

Hi JZWIAK,

You are not alone! TRUST ME, I spent well over 30 years hiding behind the camera before I reached a breaking point in 2005. That was year I decided to give up dieting and do everything in my power to be healthy. I was so tired of dieting and losing the weight only to gain the weight back and then some more.

The difference this time...I gave up my need for perfection. I was going to integrate habits that would help me live a healthy life. That was well over 7 years ago and I am proud to say I am still on my journey. I am not dieting, I am living.

You can do this! Remember you don't have to have a perfect life to live a healthy lifestyle.

I wish you well!

Coach Nancy



JZYWIAK
Posts: 4
6/25/12 6:42 P

I think I've hit my all time low! I saw myself that I've been hiding from in a photo at a friends party, it's not me I don't even know who that girl in the photo is, I'm at my all time heaviest I weigh more now then I did with all three of my pregnancies. My husband is thinner than me my best friend is so tiny, I just want to feel like me again. How do I make a change and not an excuse. Please I could use some kind words and motivation I feel paralyzed in someone else's skin.



 
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