Fitness Minutes: (86,171)
10/19/12 8:05 A
It's pretty normal for boys at that age to pick up swearing. Their friends do it, so they do it to fit in. It makes them feel rebellious, cool, grown up and is a way to vent frustration... BUT he needs to know there is a correct time and place to use them. You can tell him that you know he's going to swear and if he wants to do it with his buddies that's fine. You can even tell him you understand why, that it feels good to vent with a few good swears. This will be a "win" for him. Then you discuss boundaries with him; places and situations in which he shouldn't swear.
Better yet, instead of telling him, ask him in which places and situations it's probably not a good idea to use those words. If he feels he's deciding for himself when he should use those words, he's more likely to stick with it. 13 year old boys want their independence, they don't like being told what to do by adults. So if he feels he's the one making the mature decision, he's more apt to make an effort to stop swearing in inappropriate situations.
Edited by: JENNILACEY at: 10/19/2012 (08:06)
10/15/12 3:14 P
OK....is he swearing? sassing? using F-word/or the like in everyday conversations? I don`t understand the question....and well....sorry....I don`t know how we can help here. I guess taking away privileges , would be best punishments....
Its always tricky when speaking of KIDS. On one hand we want to get help...but on another sometimes what people say can create sensitive feelings or even hurt ones. My first few thoughts is...whatever happened to a time when that was simply unacceptable? Why is it people have such low expectations of children these days? I wonder WHERE did the child LEARN THOSE WORDS? If a parent allows their child to watch movies, listen to music...videos that glamorize those things is it then the kids fault when they THINK it is okay or cool? Goes back to the parent. Then I wonder if the parent has laid down ground rules of conduct all along or even if they use cuss words THEMSELVES. And none of that needs a reply...but I have raised three children myself. Often a child who uses those words "feels small" and those words make them FEEL BIG or powerful. I wonder if that child is being picked on...trying to fit in with the wrong crowd...having problems or transition at home. SO MANY THINGS can cause a child to "act out". I think the best thing to do is to explain how those words are filthy. How it is disrespect to oneself as well as others including their own family to use them. Explain how children should represent themselves in a way that is "proper" explaining what that means and how their behavior is a reflection of the parent AND ENTIRE FAMILY. Give the child a sense of FAMILY and let them know it is THEIR JOB just as it is the parents to be a good example. When my daughters grades started to slide I told my daughter I could be out clubbing...bringing friends over drinking...leaving her at home at night doing my own thing...but it is OUT OF LOVE and MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MY DUTY as a parent that compels me NOT to to do that. The same goes for a child within a household. Ohana...(look it up if it doesn't ring a bell). I explained how she has a duty to HERSELF not to create a foundation for the rest of her life by having low standards. ...and if those words seem TOO BIG there is always ways to simplify. But my point is...in small doses be a good example. If the parent uses cuss words STOP IT. Apologize. Make a pact as a family to portray yourselves in a way that is loving, respectful and upstanding in word. Practice it and don't let it slide backwards. IT CAN BE DONE. Potty mouth is curable.
Fitness Minutes: (68,349)
6/30/12 12:14 P
Lava soap works the best. LOL You are the parent, you CAN demand what is said and done in your house. Once they are out of the house, you don't have much control. You also need to make sure you are modeling all the good behaviors that you expect your child to follow. I've seen parents curse at their child for cursing. Then use the old worn out comment, "do as I say, not as I do". Along with, "Because I say so". Neither works well.
Unless your child has turrets, his lack of verbal control is a behavior issue and it can be adjusted. You may have to pick up a few books to read about this age and good examples of ways to correct bad behaviors. Not all examples work the same on all children, so you will need to sometimes use various techniques and/or modify them to fit your situation. But first, YOU need to know as much as possible about all the things a 13 year old is going through and how to best work with them. Also, make sure you read ahead to see what is coming next so you will be ready for it. This age is tough, but YOU are the PARENT, never let your child think any different. Keep the faith.
Fitness Minutes: (179,004)
6/29/12 5:12 A
Everyone I knew (myself included) experimented with hardcore swearing at that age. It's just words...teach him there's a time and a place for it and set limits.
Fitness Minutes: (425)
6/28/12 4:30 P
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