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Lack of support at home



 
 
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MMEEAAGGX3
SparkPoints: (1,281)
Fitness Minutes: (1,876)
Posts: 1,049
11/3/12 1:05 A

First, I want to tell you that you are beautiful. Who knows why he says what he says, clearly he has issues of his own, but you look absolutely stunning.

Secondly, I usually try not to jump to conclusions but...I'd seriously consider leaving him. He obviously knows it hurts you. Sometimes men don't understand that weight comments hurt us so much, and to them it's just all jokes...But if he knows you're trying to lose weight then he MUST know it hits home for you and that is not a good quality for a partner to have!



JILLITA55
SparkPoints: (74,274)
Fitness Minutes: (63,088)
Posts: 4,055
11/2/12 9:28 A

I live alone



HOCKEYCHICK0207
SparkPoints: (4,972)
Fitness Minutes: (5,043)
Posts: 44
10/30/12 5:25 P

I agree, Sandi.

I rent a room so I am basically alone...but with a landlord who stocks the community kitchen space with stuff I don't need. :-)



SANDICANE
Posts: 1,813
10/30/12 10:59 A

I think if you can find ONE GOOD BUDDY! Just ONE GOOD BUDDY to lose weight with, to share your goals with, to share your thoughts with, to bounce your "trouble with this food, and trouble with that situation" off of. That's what we all need. Just ONE good buddy to seriously walk along our path beside us.

However, easier said than done!!!

Sandi



JILLITA55
SparkPoints: (74,274)
Fitness Minutes: (63,088)
Posts: 4,055
10/30/12 10:27 A

live alone



DWROBERGE
SparkPoints: (325,664)
Fitness Minutes: (301,357)
Posts: 68,808
10/29/12 11:35 P

Ixne



LANNWLSN
SparkPoints: (9,784)
Fitness Minutes: (4,786)
Posts: 367
10/29/12 9:37 P

I don't have any negative comments from anyone around me, mostly I'm just in it alone.



TCANNO
SparkPoints: (99,992)
Fitness Minutes: (66,352)
Posts: 17,904
10/29/12 10:51 A

no



WYATTSUE53
Posts: 9
10/29/12 7:37 A

Hello all..I am excited to start the Spark Coach. I have already done some floor exercises and I plan on playing some racquetball later today if my husband is up to it. Which brings us to lack of support. My husband is a wonderful guy and he does want me to succeed, but he also needs to look at how he eats to lose weight and get in shape too. He brings snack foods into the house when I have asked him not to. He does the shopping in our family. I am usually at home taking care of our handicapped son of 28. My husband is also a beer drinker and he can't have just one. It is really hard to stay on a program when your spouse is not trying very hard.



JILLITA55
SparkPoints: (74,274)
Fitness Minutes: (63,088)
Posts: 4,055
10/29/12 6:23 A

I live alone



RLLRCSTR10
Posts: 14
10/5/12 3:03 P

Thank you all for your support. It helps when I don't have that at home. As soon as I get some medical issues cleared up, I plan to dedicate myself more to my fitness and weight loss journey. I have a pedometer ready and bought new walking shoes.
It is definitely extremely painful to have the verbal abuse along with the challenges of losing weight. It is a vicious cycle and my emotional eating is really hard to tackle. I am so glad that there is a web site like this so I can have support anytime. I have the SparkPeople book and plan to pick a day to start after I have my medical testing next week.



CASSIOEPIA
Posts: 18,039
9/23/12 11:17 A

www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=579


It hurts when the people we love won't support us in the goals we seek out. My hubby never has understood why it's so hard to lose weight, being tall and slim himself. But he hasn't been verbally abusive. You may need to seek some outside counselling to help the two of you with that.

Support on your weight loss doesn't have to come from your spouse (mine never has). I put in a link (above) to an article that deals with this. The support I got from the members here at SparkPeople was and is invaluable.

Please keep posting. It really does help to get support here.
Judi



CHIBIKARATE
Posts: 10,357
9/23/12 1:15 A

it is hard I have no support either some days I cty hope it gets for you be blessed I will pray for you hugz



ASLNERD
Posts: 7
9/22/12 11:16 P

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! emoticon It sounds like he has some serious insecurities. He's afraid other men will notice you, if you lose the weight! Does he think he's helping to motivate you, or is he just doing this to feel superior?

You can absolutely do this! You don't need to let him affect that. First, make sure you're trying to lose the weight for YOURSELF. You'll never be successful if your goal is to try to make him happy. Be your own #1 priority. You're worth it!

Decide which day you are going to dive into this 100%. Have a friend take some "before" photos of you. Keep them in a secure place, away from your husband and write your official starting date on them. That'll be proof for when you *do* make progress and reach your goals.

Next, I would suggest making a list of specific plans for reaching your goal. What can you do each day and week to reach your goal? Have a series of smaller goals along the way.

For example, get an inexpensive pedometer and try to reach a certain number of steps every day. Increase that number after so many days or weeks. Plan to take a walk around your neighborhood for 10 minutes every evening. That will both get you away from the negative environment and help you get started with your weight loss. If you work, take the long route to the restroom from your office. Check with your friends and see if they would be willing to meet you for walks. If you don't want to draw his attention to your extra walking, then do more walking around your house and go out of your way at the grocery store, or walk every aisle. Walk a couple of laps around the parking lot when running errands.

Something else you can do is to change your diet in subtle ways so he won't notice and try to sabotage you. For less fat, substitute ground turkey for beef when cooking, add less salt to your meal. Consume fewer refined carbs and sugar. Eat green veggies in place of potatoes. Then, start substituting some healthier SparkRecipes for the things you normally fix. If you eat a lot of take-out, make sure *you* do the calling and ask for *your* meal to have some healthier substitutions, like leaving off the butter and putting dressings on the side. I know of one brand of condiments and salad dressings that are all calorie free, fat free, sugar free, gluten free, cholesterol free, and carb free; find some of these at your local store, or online, and put them in different bottles to "secretly" save yourself the extra calories and fat. These small changes will make a big difference!

For support, you definitely have all of us! I'm here anytime you need me! emoticon emoticon



DOGSHOETAT
SparkPoints: (74,483)
Fitness Minutes: (38,374)
Posts: 3,108
9/22/12 12:27 A

Wow! I'm so sorry someone in your life is making you feel that way! I hope you know you can always look for support here. Though most of us don't know each other personally we all have a common goal and we all want to see each succeed. It's a terrible shame your husband feels the need to belittle you this way but from what I've gathered it's a common issue. And SP has a lot of resources for people with unsupportive partners. From what I've read they behave this way out of fear and jealousy but please don't let him keep you from reaching your goals!
Good luck with everything!
emoticon



RLLRCSTR10
Posts: 14
9/21/12 11:29 P

I live with my husband and he has been verbally abusive about my weight, calling me a pig, making pig call sounds and expecting me to respond, pinching my stomach and laughing, etc. After I told him something I wanted to do once I lost weight the other day he laughed and said "That's not going to happen!" essentially saying I couldn't lose weight. I know I need to lose weight for myself and my health but I am so angry at him and want to prove him wrong. Does anyone else live with a similar lack of support? If so, how do you deal with it? I am working on identifying consistent sources of support outside our home but it sure would be easier if I could count on my husband for support.
Thanks all,
L.R.



 
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