Dear Nessa, I'm new to spark people, I just joined yesterday,when I saw your message. You see, I can relate because I'm a now nineteen year old who battled bulemia for a year when I was 15. I hated throwing up, but I thought that I hated my body more. Honestly at 5'6" 110 lbs I was by no means over weight, but I felt that was how I could eat whatever I wanted and not worry about losing my "perfect" figure. I have been a health freak since I was 6 years old, and sometimes I feel like I've been on a diet of sort since i was 6 years old. It's awful spending your whole life worried about what you look like. I got to the point where I was leaning over the toilet, and just couldn't bring myself to hurt my body and my self confidence anymore. Enough was enough, and I never did it again. I think its scary how a girl can be killing herself by starvation and no one notices, I have a very close family, and no ever noticed. your not alone! And you need to put thoughts of that out of your head! It's not worth it. I look at my life now compared to then, I eat healthy, I exercise 3 to 5x a week, I lift weights, and I have a more toned, tanned, and beautiful body then I ever had throwing up, plus my teeth are good, and my esophagus hasn't worn away from puking up stomach acid! I have a wonderful fiancee who loves the way I look and is so supportive of me. I recently signed on to sparks so I could keep track of my nutrition for vitamin supplement reasons. Nessa, take it from someone who knows, nip the habit before you get so consumed in yourself that it really hurts you. Instead remember that self confidence at any size is more attractive to a man than toothpick thighs. And it will make other girls wonder why you just have this thing about you that makes people want to be around you. Personality Nessa, that's what make a person beautiful
Funky nessa; I just joined the group a few days ago. I hope you are doing ok. I have never had bulimia or anorexia, but if I can help in anyway, please let me know. You are very brave for being able to admit that you have a problem and also admiting that you know it is bad for your health. Since I have never had a problem like that before, I don't really feel like I can give advise. But please remember all the people who love you when you feel "the Urge" and remember that they don't want to see you hurting on the inside and they also don't want to lose you to this disease. Please try the best you can to take care of yourself and know that you are responsible for your own actions and that YOUR LIFE IS YOURS. You have to decide how you want to live. Like I said, I have never had the disease, so I don't really feel that I know what kind of advise to give, but I know if one of my sisters or cousins or friends had bulimia, I would want to help them and I also wouldn't want them to hurt themselves like that. I will pray for you that God gives you the courage and the strength not to hurt yourself anymore. Also, remember that you are beautiful the way you are and that being skinny doesn't make you any more beautiful and it also doesn't make anyone love you more. You are good enough as you are!
If I offended you in some way, I apologize. I do think you aren't eating enough food and my opinion comes from a long background of study and experience. I am concerned with your health and with your enjoyment of life. Also, please know that there is not a lot of activity on this board. It can go days with no input.
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294 9/16/02 3:32 P
Nessa, We are all here for you. I haven't been on in a while and am sorry. Have been dealing with my daughter going back into the hospital. She is only 2 months (will be tomorrow)I know what you are going through because I dealt with it. But I had bulimia and anerxia. I know I didn't spell those right. I know how hard the erge is to to go to the bathroom after you've eaten. Have you talked to any close friends about it? An easy weight to deal is to eat in a large group of people. Right now don't worry about how much you're eating because you are killing yourself doing this. You need to eat to build up your muscle and fat contents. Go to the bathroom before you eat and make sure someone you're eating with goes with you. after you eat get straight into a conversation or into an activity. do something so that you won't want to go to the bathroom.you need to talk to a friend that you are always around so that they can help you with this. I don't believe it's right when you try to get help from an adult and they stick you in the hospital for it. In my case that was what happened and it was all caused by my ballet teacher telling me I was fat and having a brothere and sister that looked like twigs. Hope this helped and if you want you can e-mail me Blue_eyesj98@yahoo.com
I just wanted to say that even though i know it's hard to find anything to say to a teenager potentially dealing with bulimia, I thought that i'd made some friends here who wanted to help me through it. Ovbiously i was wrong
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