You are so lucky. I know that may sound cold but your husband has done you a GREAT favor. Step back and look what has happened to you. You have been made aware of who your husband truly is.... is that the person you wanted? Of course not. You have been given the key to a new door. All possibilities are yours. Take life by the horns. The best is yours!!!!
If you stay on the path it will get you where you are going. Choose path wisely.
Fitness Minutes: (4,800)
130 8/7/12 1:08 P
I am only just now reading this and pray that you are doing well in spite of all that you have been through. Don't let the things that he has said or done to you get you down. You are worth a lot more than that.
My niece has Polycystic ovary syndrome, so I am aware of how frustrating the possibility of not being able to conceive can be. Pregnancies for any of us don't always happen on the first try. It took me two years to get pregnant, and though I am not sure how long it took my niece, her daughter was born this past January.
Patience is a virtue and things will work out for you.
8/7/12 8:24 A
Sorry to hear you're going through this. It's stressful, but when you come out the other side, life will be better for you without this man berating you and cheating on you. Move on to greener pastures. Good luck!
Fitness Minutes: (71)
3 8/6/12 11:46 P
Lord have mercy! It sounds like a blessing that you don't have a child with this man... I would totally use this as motivation to become the thinnest, hottest, version of yourself that you can be and then go out there and find yourself a REAL man! Sorry for the heartache you have endured... it WILL get better! Chin up!
Fitness Minutes: (1,200)
82 7/19/12 11:57 P
They say there are no one-sided problems in marriages, that both have a part in whatever happens. But dang, girl! It's really hard to see how that man could be thinking! Why is he so eager for offspring? Usually couples are glad to have a couple years to settle into the marriage and get to know each other and work out their ways together before having children. 18 months isn't very long in a lifetime. I'm thinking you just might be very fortunate you don't have children with him.
Fitness Minutes: (36,227)
511 7/19/12 6:53 A
So sorry that you are going through this! Good time to be on Sparkpeople. Lots of support! Take care!
"More people die in the US from overeating than from undereating!"
"When you have a child you give up the right to self destruct"
"Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality."
Fitness Minutes: (3,140)
1,978 6/27/12 4:53 P
I am sorry that you are having to go through this situation I know how you feel. My ex husband is living with one of my ex friends. They split up my marriage and her marriage. She has three kids with her husband and I had two with mine. My youngest was only 5 months old when he decided to leave me. I know you are really hurting now but you are much better off finding this out now then after there were children involved. Good luck to you and everything does get better it just takes one day at a time.
So sorry that you are having to deal with this but keep your faith on God and be thankful you don't have a child with him. I think everything happens for a reason so maybe it's time to move one & find someone who cares enough about you.
6/25/12 2:20 P
clearly he isnt the one for you. walk away and find someone that will be with you through it all
This truly is a sad situation. You cannot control how other people behave, but you can control your reaction to it. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and not in your own understanding, and he will direct your path". God loves you
Words of encouragement, I am just read your story and I am sorry this happening to you. But I would like to say everything happen for a reason, GOD has a plan for you and it is up to you to follow it and open your eyes. You know have think why you can't get pregnant maybe it was never met to be with you husband he is the man GOD don't want you start a family with. You stated your husband had a girlfriend so he was even working the marriage to its potential. I just wanted to share some words of encouragement. You are beautiful and GOD will send a wonderful man your way that is if you haven't found him yet, I notice this post is a couple of months old.
Fitness Minutes: (25,260)
1,237 6/22/12 11:30 A
I am very sorry to hear about this! That is truly awful....but if he is willing to just give up and let it all go, its not meant to be! You dont need that in your life! Take it as a good thing (as best you can) and use it to make you stronger and you have ALL OF US AT SPARK, to help you get through it!
Fitness Minutes: (6,365)
6/22/12 9:41 A
I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. All those medical issues are hard enough without this type of stress. I think you will find out in the long run though that this is probably for the best. I'm sure you love him and will miss him but if he treated you this way he must not truly love you. It is better to find all this out now that to have children and have to deal with it. So much easier to part ways at this point. I'm just sorry you wasted your time with him up to this point. I wish you well in your future endevors.
~Jennifer,MLS(ASCP)cm ~ ~Reed City, MI~
6/21/12 8:07 P
My heart goes out to you! It's him, not you that is the problem and you need to definitely move on even though it is painful. It's time for a big fat dose of 'It's all about me' attitude and putting yourself first! :)
I have PCOS, diabetes and high blood pressure and have two children even though I was told by THREE doctors that I'd never get pregnant. I can definitely say that a healthy diet and exercise are what you need, even though it is probably the most difficult thing to do with all the stress...I've been through a nasty divorce myself and getting out and running/walking helped burn off that stress. Focus on you and get away from Mr. Wrong because Mr. Right is out there :)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
1 6/4/12 5:01 P
My heart goes out to you! I'm so very sorry for all what you've been trough. Know that I prayed for you asking our Heavenly Father to pour His perfect love, peace, power and faithfulness during this trying time. I know from my time with Focus on the Family that there are counselors who will talk to you over the phone for free. All you have to do is call 1-855-771-4357. Hugs and best to you!
If your spouse is cheating on you, then you have to move on and focus on you! You are worth far more then giving up! Focus on doing nice things for yourself and continue to workout and be healthy! Even if your spouse has given up, you can show him your not going to be the victim! Another thing I would suggest is maybe keeping a journal of your emotions and that will help you work through everything! God bless you ! Donde
"When you get to a plateau, think of it as a landing on the stairway to your goal. And maintenance is a lifelong plateau, so a bit of "rehearsal" for maintenance isn't the worst thing in the world.
"Your past does not equal, nor does it dictate, your future.
I agree with everyone else, file for divorce and move on. Not only was he cheating on you, but he was actively trying to knock someone else up? Really? That is just a toxic situation, and it will not help your physical health or your mental health at all. If you can afford it and find the time to do it, take a weekend away, Maybe a girls weekend or by yourself. Get a hotel room, get some spa treatments, just relax and pamper you. Come back renewed and refreshed and start focusing on your health and happiness. You might want to see a counselor, and, if you're not already, a nutritionist (perhaps one recommended by your endocrinologist) to work on your PCOS and diabetes issues.
I am 5'4". Starting Weight (4.6.11) 164.6 First Goal 130 - Reached September 2011 Currently maintaining under 120 and working on changing my mental image of myself!
4/30/12 10:20 A
Not everyone has children at a specific time. Maybe the lack of pregnancy was a message that you weren't meant to be with him or even tied to him anymore. You deserve someone who won't cheat, who is supportive and loves you no matter what. Even if it's hard now, later it will be so much better. Good luck!
4/30/12 12:41 A
"Run Forest, Run!!!!!" You deserve way better. Give it time & you will see how blessed you are to have this arse out of your life.
"Surround yourself with people who respect & treat you well" Claudia Black.
Pacific Standard Time
Fitness Minutes: (0)
4/29/12 8:46 P
I agree with everything everyone else is saying. You're a much better, kinder person than he is. You sound like you're a religious person....you speak of your faith....maybe God wants you to be with someone who is also a good person. Any man who commits adultery and speaks harshly to his wife in an abusive manner is not a God fearing person and is not worthy of you. You have so much to offer and you should want to have a baby with someone who is also a good person not with someone who has a bad character and is a sinner. You deserve so much better than this! You should count on the support of your family and community and pray for clarity. Good luck.
4/29/12 11:37 A
I am so sorry you're going through this. It sounds really rough. The (small) good thing is that you can recycle him before you have a child together. That means he will not need to be part of your life at all any more and you can move on to someone who really appreciates you FOR you and not simply for your fertility.
Fitness Minutes: (34,781)
426 4/29/12 10:30 A
Huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry that you're in this situation!
It IS a rough situation but if your friend was telling you the same story, what would you say to her? Would you tell her that if he is already cheating at a year and a half that she can do way better? That she deserves way more respect than that? Because that's what I would say.
It sounds like your energies are better focused on yourself and your health rather than him. A real man will love and support you not cast blame or cheat. Send him off with a smile and shut the door and say good riddance! Let the girlfriend deal with him because if he is cheating on you, he will cheat on her too. You are WAY better than that!
I hope your heart heals and that you soon find yourself with a loving man!
I am trying to pick myself up and dust myself off. My husband and I have only been married a year and six months but the past four months we have spent apart. He says he doesn't love me and its my fault we don't have any children. I recently found out his girlfriend (yes girlfriend) has been trying to get pregnant. On top of the PCOS, Diabetes and High Blood Pressure, I am now stressing over a divorce and starting over from nothing.
I have faith that God will see me through this, all I have is my faith and my family. This is a rough situation to be in.
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