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My spouse isn't as motivated as me...



 
 
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FLUFFYWOOL
SparkPoints: (1,902)
Fitness Minutes: (946)
Posts: 75
6/11/12 10:18 A

First, congratulations on your 20 pounds! It's so hard when the people around you aren't making the same decisions you would, to make those decisions for yourself. And it's doubly hard when you think they SHOULD be, and you want to help. But you just have to do it for yourself. You can't want it for anyone else.

I think the best thing you can do right now is to just keep doing for yourself. Plan ahead for those healthy dinners, so there's no reason to have a debate about it every night. Since he's willing to go along with your plan for the most part, can you guys sit down together and plan out a menu for the week? Does he do most of the cooking? Can you take over some of that, so he can get his studying done while you fix a healthy dinner? And then you'd both have time to go for a walk afterward :) Good luck!



JUSTDOIT011
Posts: 1,377
6/11/12 10:16 A

Every little decision you make can lead you in the right (or wrong) direction. Weight is lost a pound at a time...and each pound is lost an ounce at a time. Little changes can add up over time to weight loss. If he's super busy, have him bring a packed lunch to work/school instead of fast food or another unhealthy option. Schedule in 15 minutes of exercise per day, and increase it when you find you have more time for more than 15 minutes. emoticon



HEZZYLUNA
Posts: 129
6/11/12 9:23 A

My fiancÚ and I have once again resolved to getting healthy. We tried this back in December. I stayed on track a lot longer than he did though, I kept up with it until about mid-March. I lost 20 lbs over that time. And over the last couple months I've gained 6 lbs back.

It's actually a little scarier this time. Before, we've known for some time that we were really starting to get seriously heavy. And I've made more attempts than he has to get it down or at least under control. But it's really hard to do alone, especially when he and I are so close. I can be feeling strong all day long, until I get home and we're talking about what we're going to do for dinner and while we're discussing all of our healthy options, we both give eachother that slight look that says, "if you say 'Let's go to CiCi's,' i'll go with you in a heartbeat!"

And then we both end up failing.

And this is the first time I've really truly felt he was unhappy. Like genuinely unhappy. Because of his weight. And this is not the first time I've been genuinely unhappy about my weight, it's been a battle for me since puberty, but I want this to be the last time. But my fiancÚ, he's something else. He's never scared, he's never nervous, and while he doubts himself all the time because he's human, he has this fearless quality about him. And to see him unhappy.. it just breaks my heart.

Anyways, I know he wants to do this; to put in the man hours and get our weight down. But with him.. let's just say he doesn't the determination that I do when it comes to diet/exercise. If it's anything else, he will knock himself out trying to succeed, but for some reason, he just looks for (and takes) any excuse he can not to try.

And he does have some valid excuses. He's a full time culinary student and works part time. So he's always busy with homework or extracurricular activities or work. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? Words to help me help him, and words to help me help myself if he's not able to give me the support I need?





 
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