Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
46,222 5/14/12 9:18 A
I see a lot of the former me in your post. I spent over 30 years as a perpetual dieter. When I stayed focus, trust me I was the queen of losing. The minute I slipped up, it was a disaster. I found myself trapped in the all-or-nothing mentality.
I am a type A, perfectionist personality. When I did everything to a T, I was flying high, but the minute I slipped up I would throw in the towel. It took me to age 43 and being diagnosed with high blood pressure that I finally woke up. I HAD TO CHANGE. I had to let go of my need to be perfect.
So on Feb 9, 2005 I took the most important step in my life---I swore off dieting and swore myself to a life of health, The two are NOT the same. I allow myself to have the foods I once enjoyed in my hay-day, just not every day. I, like you, found my passion for exercise (running) and I commit myself to doing it, even if it is just for an hour.
What I have learned in the past 7 years...you DO NOT have to have a PERFECT life to have a healthy lifestyle. Shame and guilt do nothing to change our behavior. Allow yourself to make mistakes....this is when we learn what I call, "the why we do, what we do, when we do it" lesson.
Hang in there, Jessie! You can do this!
Fitness Minutes: (213,750)
20,966 5/14/12 8:49 A
Congratulations on keeping off 19 pounds as well as being sober for over two years. That's fantastic. It's also fantastic that you're being active. Exercise is an important part of our long term health.
But, so is eating right. I won't call it "dieting". However, I do need to be honest. A person can't outrun a bad diet with exercise. If you want to take the weight off and keep it off, you need to eat right first and for most. Good nutrition is what takes the weight off and keeps it off. Exercise is what keeps our bodies fit and healthy.
Because let me ask you this, what happens if you become injured ? What happens when you have to stop exercising for whatever reason ? I'll tell you, the weight packs back on. That's why it's important for people to eat right to the best of their ability. And that doesn't mean starve yourself. Too many people think that they have to drastically cut their calories in order to lose weight. This is a misconception. While it's true the many Americans eat too much and need to eat less, the problem is that they are eating too much of the wrong food and not enough of the right food.
Quality of the food you eat has a huge impact on your health as well as your weight. One good way to improve your health (and help the scale decrease) is to eat 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies. Eating that many veggies each and every day can and will make a difference. If you find that 6-9 servings is too much. set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. Once you've achieved that goal, you set a new one. You keep adding servings until you are eating at least 6-9. that's one way to help you eat more veggies.
Also, one thing you don't want to do is look at weight loss or good health with an all or nothing mentality. You've been making great progress ! You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. Keep making those small changes like you've been doing. One thing at a time so that you don't become overwhelmed.
Educate yourself. If you want to be a healthier person, read as many of the different Spark articles you can. There are ones on nutrition, exercise, well being, etc... the better educated you become about your health, the easier things will get with time.
But you need to be patient with yourself and your body. Slow and easy really does win this race.
So, a couple months ago I fell off the diet wagon. I kept up with my workout routine, however I did relax it a bit. For 2 months I've managed to maintain my weight of 192, which is a loss of 19 lbs. And you know what, for once I was feeling pretty good about myself.. I thought. It turns out I was just forcing myself to feel indifferent. I was self medicating in unhealthy ways, with food and what-not. I convinced myself that it was what I needed, and you know in reality I think it was. But I learned a lesson from it. I learned that I was much too hard on myself during my most recent weight loss attempt. Which is what I always do. I always have to have a firm plan that I dare not stray from-- or else. Every morning, wake up at 5 to workout with a Jillian Michaels DVD, or else. Drink a protein shake before work, or else. Eggs at lunch, or else. For dinner, a lean protein with a side of veg, or else. And every day was the same.
The good thing about all of that is the fact that I thrive on structure. I need it. So I was seeing results, I was losing weight and gaining fitness. I was feeling more confident. But I was slowly digging myself into a hole. I couldn't keep up with the demands of this routine I created. And with the pressures of a job that I absolutely loathed, I started to crumble from within. I was questioning my reality; I was having a nervous breakdown is what was happening. I seriosuly wasn't thinking straight, and I had to do something or else I'd have to like commit myself or something! It was bad.
So I stopped dieting. I kept up the excersie because truely deep down I enjoy it, and when you're stressed out exersise is a good thing. And I maintained, with unhealthy habits. 30 minutes of excersise in the mornings was all I got. Other than that, all I did was pig out and sit on the couch. For 2 months. And my dog was forced to do the same thing. See, my dog is like my son, seriously. I adore him like he's my own child. He's 3 years old, a male pug. The first year I had him I was a full blown alcoholic. I maintained a buzz throughout the day, but whenever I got off work everyday I got compeltely plastered, alone. And while I loved and adored my dog no matter what, when I was in that state I wasn't a good mommy to him. This is such a hard topic for me. I have so much guilt and I can't make it up to him, I can't sit him down when he's older and explain it all to him and get his forgiveness.
But I got sober 2 years ago. And being sober has changed my life, obviously. And it's changed my puppy. He actually gets walked 4+ times a day now, gets fed real dog food, gets played with and gets toys and gets way too many hugs and kisses than he wants.
This morning I went to go wake him up before work for his morning walk, and I hugged him and kissed him, and looked in his eyes and my heart just sank to the floor. I got transported back to that first year I had him, when alcohol was the only thing I truely cared about throughout the day. And I've been acting the same way the past 2 months. Ive put my own self medications in front of my own body, so of course I put it in front of him too. Right now, all I do is sit on the couch like a log.
I must change today, for him. I cannot do that to him again. He deserves a better mommy than some bump on a log who doesn;t care about anything.
God, I just can't get this all out of my head. It's got me so sad this morning. I can't seem to shake this and lift my head back up. This is not a good way to start the day or week.
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