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FUTUREB1 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 12
6/22/12 8:21 A

How far away is your wedding? If it's in a month or two, I say suck it up and address the issue when it's over. On the other hand, if you're not getting married for several months, I would give her the money for the dress and ask her to step out. No matter what, this situation is awkward. Good luck!

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,525
6/15/12 11:27 A

She is your friend and you asked her to be in your wedding for a reason. Weddings often bring out the bear in people. I would say just put up with her, don't let her get your goat. And then a month after the wedding revisit whether or not you want her to still be in your life. If she is a great friend at other times besides in the stress of wedding planning. You might regret cutting her out of your life completely.

Maybe she wants to get married and she is jealous? Weddings can also bring out the green eyed monster

SCTK519 Posts: 2,086
6/13/12 1:09 P

I agree that the shower and bachelorette party tends to go with it, but I think that's not necessarily a hard and fast rule as sometimes the mother may throw the shower, etc. I also assumed this girl was not the maid of honor, which I think limits the duties she has.

NINAOZZIE SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 83
6/13/12 11:47 A

I agree that mismatched expectations seem to be a common cause of bridesmaid's important to let your friends know what you're expecting of them when you first ask them to stand up for you, and it's up to them to decide whether they can do what you ask of them before they accept.

If only mismatched expectations was my issue! I don't necessarily agree with you SCTK519 on what the duties are (everywhere, at least); where I am from bridesmaids are expected to help plan the bachelorette party and shower...however, my girls created so much drama amongst themselves over all of this that (none of it involving me yet some of them tried to pull me in) I wish I had known to tell them to just buy a dress and show up!

Edited by: NINAOZZIE at: 6/13/2012 (11:50)
SCTK519 Posts: 2,086
6/13/12 11:16 A

I would be really curious if the bridesmaid actually did something or if this is a case of mismatched expectations. Some brides expect their bridesmaids to be helping with a lot of wedding related tasks, ie. programs & invites, attend dress fittings, etc. While others know the bridesmaids are your friends and that their lives are not impacted by the fact that you're getting married; they are supposed to buy the dress and be there on your Day and that's where the duties end.

This happened with a friend of mine and I. She had a wedding shindig that had events for 5 days total. One of the days they had a open mic essentially and people could give speeches; I found out the day before my friend was upset I wasn't giving speech, but I had never been asked to speak. Meanwhile when my wedding came, I asked her to buy a dress & be there that day. That was it and she was.

NINAOZZIE SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 83
6/13/12 9:26 A

Kick her out! If you don't even want to be friends with her, who cares if she bought the dress? You don't need any more stress!

I am in a similar situation right now, except the bridesmaid I have an issue with is my sister....ugh, can't exactly just cut her out of my life :( If I had known when I got engaged what I know now, I would have gotten eloped!

HOLLI3MW Posts: 10
6/12/12 4:44 P

so two scenarios you need to figure out where you are at with this:
1. if you are concerned about her "throwing yet another fit" then perhaps you still care about her as a friend and you need to get past whatever the drama is. (most likely)
2. if you really don't care, then tell her where she can stick her dress and move on; you have a wedding to focus on and don't need to waste energy on people you don't care about!
hope it all pans out well for you...

LASHERRMA SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 72
6/12/12 9:16 A

Pay her for the dress and tell her you no longer want her involved.

6/11/12 11:33 A

I would give it some time. How long before your wedding??

She obviously was a really good friend (at one point) to have her as one of your bridesmaids. I have had huge fights with my friends and we always make up. We even laugh about how foolish we are being. Really think about telling her you don't want her as part of your wedding. It may destroy any chance of being friends again.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 26,404
6/10/12 9:24 P

IF you truly don't want her as a friend or in the wedding, pay for her dress and let her go.

SCTK519 Posts: 2,086
6/9/12 12:12 A

I think more information is needed here actually. What exactly is she being horrible about? When are you getting married? All she's required to do is buy the dress and show up on your wedding day.

If you've decided you don't want to even be friends with her, why do you care if she'll throw a fit? You're not going to be friends anyways. If you wan to stay friends, you can't kick her out of your wedding.

SNOW1589 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 178
6/8/12 8:51 P

So short story- I want to kick out one of my bridesmaids- she already bought the dress- shes been horrible about everything and now we got in a huge fight about something outside the wedding- I dont even want to be friends with her- but she bought the dress and im scared shell throw yet another fit...HELP

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