Really struggling

I'd hate to admit how many times in the last four years I have struggled and fallen, then come back after a long absence. I always feel accepted, though, and welcomed back into the fold. Getting healthy isn't something you do then coast. It is a lifelong struggle and the Spark has really helped me when I needed it.

It's so hard to dig yourself out, especially when you're feeling like there is no way out. My situation is not the same as yours but I completely understand where you are coming from. It's so hard for me to fight sometimes, or rather most of the time. I usually give up and wallow in my sadness. I'm trying really hard this time to stay positive though. There are so many things that I want to change in my life and I'm finally realizing that unless I do things to make me feel good about my self that's not going to happen. I usually just eat my pain away and that leads to me feeling more terrible and useless. I've known many overweight people in my life and it is the same for them too. No matter the situation we food addicts turn to food which only makes things worse. I'm really sorry to hear about your abusive situation. I really think that once you look inside yourself for strength, instead of food things will change for you. Just remember when you feel alone and like there is no one out there for you, there are millions of people faces the same struggles. Pull strength from that, realizing that you are worht every bit of happiness that is in your future. :-)

I am coming back to Sparkpeople after a six month or so absence. I originally had given up on Sparkpeople until I moved out due to extreme stress load (see my latest blog post for more information), but there's a chance I'll be moving close to a boy I like, and so I figure for that and for myself, I might as well stop putting it off...

I am extremely busy. I am gone 12 hours a day, five days a week, with homework and other assorted activities taking up the weekend. I have an extremely unsupportive family and have no money to buy healthy food right now (we can't even afford the house payment since my father stopped paying child support). I've been working on reducing portions (one sandwich vs two, small fries vs large, the like) since I really don't have the stuff to create everything from scratch, buy veggies/fruits, the like.

I also live in a very emotionally abusive situation and have been struggling with that very badly.

If anyone has some advice on how to incorporate things or just some support, that'd be lovely. I'm not in the best place right now and just don't know what to do.