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Teen mom in need of wisdom



 
 
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JADOMB
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7/3/12 5:58 P

All good advice. Mostly though, be firm and consistant and loving. Never lose your temper, that only gives him the reason to act out too. They need rules and consequences that they understand and can remember. Keep them as simple as possible and work up from there. You need to really get working on this though since many schools will now remove kids with issues for safety reasons for the other kids. I've known some parents that really had a tough time finding a place that would take their child, and even then it was conditional. My prayers are with you guys.



TRACEYROCK
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7/3/12 5:09 P

I'm divorced and my youngest just turned 5. He listens great to his father, but not to me. I know its because I'm not consistent with the discipline. I tried a behavior chart for him and his sister (she is 7). I talk to our coparenting coach about it and he told me that the chart may be too difficult for my son (at 4) to do. Basically at this age they are into instant gratification. So I have a prize box. It has little things in it - a piece of candy, a 25 cent toy. When i had trouble with him getting up in the morning, I would tell him, if you get up and get dressed and brush your teeth without me telling you to do it again, you can get a prize from the box. He rushes right along to go pick a toy. In your type of situation I would probably say - if you play nicely with Scott for 10 minutes without hitting, biting, etc., you can pick a toy, or have a favorite treat (5 m&ms) etc. That way its something he gets right now.

You don't want to have the kid with the worst behavior at day care, but remember that all kids do these things. Consistency with discipline is the key.

Good luck!



AMPROSKE1
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7/3/12 1:31 P

It is important for you to remain calm and consistent no matter what he does. When he does a negative behavior, he should get a consequence (time out or whatever) and stick with it no matter how hard it is. Do reward him in small ways for the good things, even if its just a hug and "Mommy is so proud of you!".

I had my son when I was 19 and he started going to daycare at about this same age. It was very trying for both of us. It will be challenging at first, and part of that might be the age. Hang in there! It does get better. No matter how tired you might be, you have to think of this as a small war you are fighting and you can't give up. You both will be ok- I promise! :)



JKHOWE
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7/2/12 4:43 P

Try a sticker chart for the behaviors you want. For example: shares toys, uses nice voice, keeps hands to self, etc. Think about including behaviors he already exhibits, so he will have a constant area of success which will encourage him. Write those behaviors on a chart and draw or print off and glue a little picture of a child doing those things beside each behavior. Have a grid with behaviors either on side or top and days of the week on the other. Go over this several times before the day before you start it. Let him know when he receives a certain amount of stickers (for example, 10) he will receive a prize (for example, play kickball with Mommy, go to the park, a popsicle, a small toy, a small amount of money, watch his favorite movie, etc.) Before he gets ready to play with another child, remind him of the behaviors that you expect to see. As a warning if you need it, say, "I hope you get a sticker today for _____________" if he is starting to do one of the negative behaviors and it hasn't gotten too far yet. When you see him doing the things like hitting, spitting, etc., continue with the time out and say, "We don't ____________; we ____________." When time out is over, remind him of the behavior you want and let him try again. Try to use the words that are on the chart. Each night as part of the bedtime preparation, go over the sticker chart. Praise him for the areas where he got stickers. Let him put on the stickers. Don't be discouraged if there aren't a lot of stickers right away. Say, "I hope you get _____________ (one he didn't get today) sticker tomorrow." Don't dwell on it.
You might change things along the way but give it a little time to work first.
Good luck.



DGWIN2
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7/2/12 2:55 P

So I was 16 when I had my son Corey and my mother has slowly weaned herself out of my life.

He's two now and I'm afraid to have him around other kids.

He hits, spits, kicks, yells, pushes, and takes things away. When it's just him and the adults he's just fine, but a second another child comes into the room he turns into satan spawn.

We've tried everything from extreme supervision to time outs to playing in separate areas but i'm running out of options.

I start work soon and he's going to have to go to day care and i'm terrified of what will happen.

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