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WLM1227 Posts: 69
3/26/12 6:08 A

Sweetie, you need to give yourself more credit for starting this journey, for all that hard work walking and for coming here for support. That's all very positive stuff! Like all women, you probably eat to fill some void inside and so now you can start to nurture yourself in other ways. One way is to start a journal and write down your goals and dreams. What we focus on expands and so focus on the good in what you're doing. Men don't operate like women, don't share the way we do and especially not feelings. So what I would do, aside from sharing here on SP, is to find some kind of female support group, and it doesn't have to be a diet group. Any kind of social outlet where you can get out of the house and out of your head and add another nice aspect to your new way of being. You are doing well, probably better than you think. Roadblocks are normal. But you're here, right?

CRICKET168 SparkPoints: (2,197)
Fitness Minutes: (702)
Posts: 58
3/26/12 5:09 A

Is there any chance of earning some money as a dog walker to pay for new walking shoes or to help with the groceries?

BUTRFLY_FREEDOM SparkPoints: (18,932)
Fitness Minutes: (6,210)
Posts: 2,240
3/24/12 9:38 P

Sorry you're having such a rough time! It will eventually get easier!

One thing to remember is that you don't have to stop eating everything you like! And you don't have to live on salads! I made that mistake before and gave up numerous times because I can't stand eating salads. I like real food! The key is to find a recipe you love and alter it to make it better. If it asks for mayo use fat free mayo. If it wants oil, use olive or canola so that at least you're getting the good benefits of the oil too. Opt for grilled or baked over fried. White meat over dark meat. Whole grain over white. Veggies over junk. You don't have to do it all at once either. Just a little bit at a time and it won't feel so daunting.

Another thing, don't assume because you are ready to lose weight, that your hubby is too. He has to be mentally ready to accept it, and he isn't there yet. That doesn't mean he wont get there. You just need to be a good example, but not a diet preacher. He may see the progress you make and want to get in on it too!

But if not, well you always have us here at SP. This is the MOST supportive site I've found.. you'll find some really great people and friends here!

Good luck!

YELLOWDAHLIA SparkPoints: (86,638)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 12,384
3/24/12 4:32 P

@ASMITH,
You may not have support at home, but you'll get a ton of it here!
Spend as much time with us as you can.

REDSHOES2011 SparkPoints: (35,936)
Fitness Minutes: (66,181)
Posts: 7,159
3/24/12 8:45 A

When will your husband have time to listen to you? When you get really ill..

Perhaps read Men from mars and women from venus by John Gray MD
or
Relationship rescue by Phillip C. McGraw

ask for them at your local library..

I also have non understanding partner- so will when I get money saved walk out on him.. I have tried and tried to talk to him and he won't listen to himself and how he complains about his health.. Sometimes some men are a lost cause and in my case the cause of my misery..


You can never, ever use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight..
At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and
deal with your problems..
You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life..
Lossing weight is not a cure for life..
Phillip C. McGraw


Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 3/24/2012 (08:53)
MSGNOME Posts: 555
3/23/12 5:45 P

Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling? He's probably feeling threatened by the lifestyle changes you're making, and could be unaware that he's making you feel so unsupported and alone.

NEWMOM20121 SparkPoints: (60,596)
Fitness Minutes: (17,100)
Posts: 1,273
3/23/12 5:42 P

First let me say welcome, I am so glad you are here.

I am sure you have read this before, but let me say it again. Baby steps, you are trying to make a lot of changes and this can be very hard. If your walking shoes are giving you blisters, you really should get a new pair, not an expensive pair, just a pair that fits you well and you can walk in. I had to change my socks to make my shoes fit better.

I know nothing about protein powder, but I can tell you that fruits and veggies are a great investment. I cook up several chicken breast so I can make me a quick salad for lunch or dinner. Canned tuna will make a easy low cost lunch item. The key with sparkpeople is making it work for you. I do not use the spark people meal planner, I make up my own meals and track the calories. This really helps me keep food cost down because my family can eat the same thing, my portions are just smaller.

You have made the right decision to be healthy, start small and it will be easier to stick with.

ASMITH3332 SparkPoints: (367)
Fitness Minutes: (458)
Posts: 7
3/23/12 3:45 P

I have never felt worse in my life. Two weeks ago I started on this life changing adventure to get healthy in order to have a better future with my husband and future children. I completely changed the way I ate, started working out daily and overall just trying to be a healthier and more active individual. I know things get easier as time moves on and that Iím still in the beginning phase of this whole thing, but I feel absolutely miserable. I have to watch my husband eat fast food while Iím sitting there eating a salad; I have to walk miles and miles completely alone because I donít have anyone who wants to accompany me. It is all just getting to me; things seemed so much easier when I ate what I wanted and just lounged around constantly. I thought by now I would feel at least a little different, a little better about myself, and even though my husband says he sees a difference he doesnít really seem to care a whole lot. In his defense he works a lot and the last thing he wants to do when he comes home is go for a walk or discuss diet issues and what not, but I just need some sort of support and without friends or family that is proving difficult to find. I just want to give in, to go back to the way things were, despite truly needing to be a healthier person and making this change while Iím young. Iím pushing five miles a day with my walks, and that is working through extremely painful blisters the width of my entire foot as well. I donít have the finances to go and pick a new pair of running shoes just for the sake of walking, just like picking up all these healthy foods is making me feel incredibly guilty in relation to our finances because we went from buying $1 pizzas to whole grain bread, fruit, protein powder and a lot of other things which has caused our food bill to skyrocket. In addition I truly want to adopt a dog that would be a great walking friend as I think that would help my loneliness but even adopting a dog is expensive and for some reason my husband is against that as well. Basically I just feel unfulfilled, lonely and sore, and my motivation is quickly draining. I always considered myself a relatively patient person, but the sheer physical pain that Iím in and the lack of support is driving me towards failure.

I just donít know what to do or say without sounding like an impatient child.


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