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What To Fix for a picky husband?



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BUBBLEJ1
SparkPoints: (21,955)
Fitness Minutes: (20,943)
Posts: 2,800
8/3/12 1:02 A

If my partner doesn't like what I cook then he doesn't eat. He is more than capable of making a sandwich if he doesn't want what I am having. OR better still, he can cook if he wants a say in the meals.



CORTNEY-LEE
SparkPoints: (48,327)
Fitness Minutes: (39,734)
Posts: 2,909
8/2/12 7:37 P

since he likes pizza, maybe he would like a pizza casserole made with whole drain pasta, tomato sauce and cheese?



SCTK519
Posts: 2,085
8/2/12 7:18 P

My apologies; I misunderstood when you mentioned him not eating the meatloaf you made and asked why you even cook that it was more of an issue about appreciation than of you having to make two separate things. If he's trying to eat healthier, I'd say start with smaller changes; ie. if he likes pizza, maybe including more veggies, using reduced fat cheese, whole wheat crust, or ground turkey instead of beef.

If he's not trying to eat healthier and making two meals isn't a problem, make two separate meals, whatever you want that's healthier and whatever he wants. If you don't know what to make for him, ask, hence grocery shopping with you. None of us here can tell you what to cook for him, especially cause picky eaters can be picky about such a variety of things.

Edited by: SCTK519 at: 8/2/2012 (20:23)


PANDAS10
SparkPoints: (16,926)
Fitness Minutes: (15,313)
Posts: 408
8/2/12 5:00 P

I completely agree with RACKMYBRAINS.

I am married to a wonderful, wonderful man... who also could just be the MOST stubborn, pickiest eater ever! His mama did me no favors. (and I've posted before about what he refuses to eat - common foods such as eggs, most fruits and veggies, even certain candies/desserts just because he is unsure of 1 ingredient... and most of this stuff he has NEVER even tried before, so he really doesn't know if he likes it or not. And there is no food allergy or intolerance). I understand that the OP isn't looking for advice on how to deal with her husband, but believe me... cooking for him and talking to him about what he WILL eat go hand in hand.

I have decided to pick my battles wisely and in my household, I do work around his "tastes" to some degree - mostly this is because if I didn't, he would blow our budget buying fast food if I didn't fix his meals.

So, I do feed him frozen pizza, but it is portioned out and without all the extra side dishes - this allows me to have some too (he used to eat a whole pizza - like Red Baron or Tombstone). I rely on his favorites like macaroni and cheese with tuna (which I HATE) and on those nights, I might just have a lean cuisine or leftovers. We had hamburgers last night - but again, only one apiece and with lean ground beef. I do try to make casseroles that include things I know he will eat. I just make sure to put it in the recipe calculator here so I know how much I can have.

Should I cater to him like this? Probably not... but I'm not going to change him, and this seems to be a happy medium. And like I said, this is a battle that isn't worth fighting in my home.

So, my best advice to the OP - if you don't want to confront him or get him to change is mindset - is to figure out what he WILL eat and learn to work it into your day, work your meals around it, and when you get into a rhythm, you can make healthy tweaks to those dishes that he likely won't notice.

And like others have said, we can't give ideas on recipes when we have no idea what he WILL eat....



NIRERIN
Posts: 11,529
8/2/12 3:16 P

fruitloop, the problem with picky eaters is that we're all picky about different things. it's really hard to suggest what might work for you if you don't give us an idea of where you are. all we have is
-he suddenly doesn't like the meatloaf he used to. and we don't know if you've changed the recipe or anything like that
-he like spam sandwiches
-he likes pizza
-the onion chicken with green beans wasn't a hit
it's really hard to suggest what might work based on just that.

another side to picky eating is whether it's a flavor thing or a texture thing. or both come to think of it. because you can approach this from a ton of different ways. people who just have texture issues and don't mind the flavor can find a sauce/dish they really like, puree up veggies, mix them in and be okay. flavor means finding different ways to prepare things entirely.
mashed potatoes are a great way to hide other veggies. cube your potatoes and put them in a pot. fill water to about halfway up the potatoes. toss in any other veggies that you want on top. cover and boil til tender. mash and add greek yogurt and a little bit of milk and if you still need just a hint of butter, you can use much less.
pizza is great with extra veggies in the sauce or on top. some people even like using portabella mushrooms instead of dough and adding sauce and cheese and then broiling.



SARAHANN01
SparkPoints: (1,610)
Fitness Minutes: (930)
Posts: 112
8/2/12 2:33 P

I agree with Mackenzie963. It doesn't sound like he'd be willing to eat the healthy alternatives that we would be able to give you. A healthy pizza option just isn't going to taste the same as the pizza that he is used to eating. That is why people are telling you to have a conversation with him about what he is willing to eat. There is no use in us giving you a list of alternative recipes when, honestly, they're probably not going to taste enough like the original food to appeal to him.



MACKENZIE963
SparkPoints: (875)
Fitness Minutes: (545)
Posts: 143
8/2/12 1:22 P

Some people love their junk food, that's that. They don't really want to change. I know people like that. Set in their eating habits

I think it does come down to the fact that if he doesn't like, and is unwilling to try, healthy foods, then the case is pretty much closed.

I mean, you can make a healthy veggie pizza on whole wheat thin crust with a light sprinkling of skim mozzarella and hand him 2 small slices and a salad-- but does it really sound like he's going to eat it? From what you described-- someone who would snub a home-cooked seasoned piece of chicken for a Spam sandwich-- doesn't sound lie he's going to be any more won over by any other healthier version.

I think the best bet would be to maybe gather some recipes or ideas, sit down with him and ask him what he is willing to try, before you waste your time cooking it.




AUDREYUK
Posts: 607
8/2/12 1:16 P

Fruitloop, is he trying to lose weight too?

Salsa is very healthy. If he wants his chips and dip, you can make salsa and even fat free beans (Old El Paso makes them in a can.) Both of those things you can easily eat without feeling guilty. Perhaps you can have some with a tortilla, or make a taco type salad and your husband can eat those things with chips? That way you are eating the same things, just not in the same way! Also, as someone suggested you can make your own pizzas. You can fill yours with veggies and a moderate amount of cheese and you can top his with whatever things he likes. If you both like lasagna, you can still make that. Just serve yourself a smaller portion than you would have in the past and make a big salad to go with it.

What else does he like besides pizza and chips and dip? If you give us more examples we can help you more with ideas.

By the way, I know you think people are not giving you what you asked for, but they're just sticking up for you! Many of us also know how frustrating it can be to go to the effort to make dinner and have someone not eat it! emoticon



RACKMYBRAINS
Posts: 435
8/2/12 1:05 P

Again, please don't take any offense at what I said... it wasn't meant that way. However, it may be the case that he wants fast, easy and immediate meals rather than something complex. And that's okay, but it's also okay to let him make his own choices rather than having you do twice the work.

And I'll differ with you on "he's a guy" doesn't make a difference. It's an American/Western cultural truth that many men were catered to as children by their mothers, in ways that girls are not catered to. Where you're absolutely right is that we all love being catered to, men and women both. I'm just saying that there should be more balance, as from the way you described the situation it feels like 90% of the work is all on your shoulders.

As for menu choices and ideas that are "makeover" healthy versions of pizza and the like, there are lots of recipes in the SparkPeople database here that you can search through. I've found healthier chips at a local store. Trader Joe's organic kettle-cooked potato chips are way better than regular chips. Organic, low-salt, baked tortilla chips are available, and you can also get "fresh-cut" low-salt salsa to go with them. They aren't super easy to find, but reading those nutrition labels will help a ton.

Switch out sour cream for nonfat yogurt with spices. Reduce meat portions and increase vegetable portions, and opt for whole grains in breads and pastas. There are tons of makeover options and recipes out there, for sure.




FRUITLOOP740
SparkPoints: (1,652)
Fitness Minutes: (71)
Posts: 66
8/2/12 12:29 P

Also, I eat this junk food too. I'm trying to eat healthier, making a transition to healthier eating all the time. Just because he's a "guy" doesn't mean anything .



FRUITLOOP740
SparkPoints: (1,652)
Fitness Minutes: (71)
Posts: 66
8/2/12 12:28 P

Um, ok. I"m asking on what to feed a picky person. I'm not asking on how to have conversations with my spouse. I know how to talk and I 'm not a mind reader. Somedays he's at work and I cook for him. I dont have a way to contact him at work right now. If I worked 12 hours a day on building racecars I'd be lazy too. I just wanted to know what to fix for someone who likes pizza and more of the unhealthy food choices. now how to talk to someone i'm married to. I of all people know how to talk to him.



RACKMYBRAINS
Posts: 435
8/2/12 12:21 P

I'm a guy. And I'm going to say something potentially offensive (but truthful) here... please don't take it the wrong way.

Your husband is lazy. He wants to be served, which is a very 1950s TV mentality. Honestly, it's really not your job to be a mind-reader or a psychic, and make sure that he is served with what he wants.

You're his wife, not his cook or his servant. You're a life-partner, which means that if he wants to make his own bad choices it's not your fault. And it's not your problem to fix. You can tell him, earnestly... "I love you and care about your health, you know. Those extremely unhealthy foods you're eating might seriously damage your health." But don't take responsibility for his choices if he continues down the road of Spam and other junk.

When my girlfriend cooks something for me that's healthy, I appreciate it. If I can't have whatever's prepared, or if I just don't like it, at the very least I'll have a conversation with her. Quite often, I will cook.


Edited by: RACKMYBRAINS at: 8/2/2012 (12:24)


KFWOHLFORD
SparkPoints: (2,869)
Fitness Minutes: (2,501)
Posts: 729
8/2/12 11:59 A

Make some dip out of nonfat greek yogurt, garlic, onion, lemon juice, and fresh chopped herbs like parsley and dill.

Get carrot sticks, celery sticks, sliced cucumber, and maybe some baked tortilla chips.

Serve with salsa to dip in as well.

There, it's a snack/meal!

Make homemade pizza. They sell pizza dough mix in the grocery store, make pizza dough out of a mix, throw on some tomato sauce, part-skim mozzarealla cheese, and some yummy veggie or lean meat toppngs.

Edited by: KFWOHLFORD at: 8/2/2012 (12:00)


SCTK519
Posts: 2,085
8/2/12 11:47 A

You don't have to eat the same things, but if he wants something different from what you're making, it's up to him to make his meal then. A person doesn't have time for that and I'll admit I think it's disrespectful of him to make an entirely separate meal when you've cooked. I'd talk to him about it though and if it comes down to it, maybe he needs to grocery shop with you so you both can get what you want and make his own meals.



LOTUS737
Posts: 2,004
8/2/12 10:38 A

Along with the good advice others have given, what about making healthier versions of the things he likes? Instead of a mayo-based dip, use greek yogurt and add in a tablespoon of olive-oil based mayo for the flavor. Use some wheat flour in a homemade pizza dough and use reduced fat cheese- make individual ones so you can put whatever toppings you want on each of yours.

Like others have suggested, I involve my hubby in our meal plan for the week (though thankfully he isn't really picky!)- but it ensures we both get some meals we feel like having.

I know it's frustrating, but if he doesn't want to eat what you make, i would suggest making smaller portions so you can pack leftovers for lunch, etc!

Hopefully a frank discussion will take care of this for you!



DRAGONCHILDE
SparkPoints: (54,983)
Fitness Minutes: (14,158)
Posts: 9,523
8/2/12 10:22 A

Are you a short order cook?

I'm not.

If my husband doesn't like what I cook, he makes his own food, and I don't worry about it. :) We split cooking duties pretty evently, though.



JENMC14
Posts: 2,707
8/2/12 9:08 A

Talk to him about it. Ask him what he wants. Tell him, nicely, that if continues to ignore you're lovely dishes that you wills tart cooking only for yourself and he can have Spam sandwiches every night. You can compromise. Lighten up his favorite dishes. Experiment. Let him pick some recipes.



MIAMIVT
SparkPoints: (11,242)
Fitness Minutes: (8,401)
Posts: 244
8/2/12 9:04 A

i've said it a million times. Picky eaters aren't finicky, they are lazy eaters. It's as simple as that. Trying and liking new food takes time and energy. There are foods I didn't care for the first 4 times I had them. After that, I started to remember and acknowledge the taste, and I now look forward to the taste.

Tell your husband to stop being lazy, and start eating.



NIRERIN
Posts: 11,529
8/2/12 8:29 A

have you tried asking him what he wants? or why he suddenly didn't like the loaf he usually does?
that will help guide you. if your more recent meatloaves have gone too far to the healthy side, you may have some trouble getting him to eat them. some people can tell the difference between turkey and beef and they don't like it. or if you go too heavy on the veg it could become soggy. basically if you know why he wants his food and not your's, that can help you either adjust to something that both of you can and will eat or just buy separate ingredients for separate meals.



FRUITLOOP740
SparkPoints: (1,652)
Fitness Minutes: (71)
Posts: 66
8/2/12 8:17 A

i am trying to eat healthier. Right now pretty stressed with things going on, and I need to eat healthier. He loves pizza, chips n dip, all kinda of snacks more than a "supper". I'm not sure what to fix. Last two times i've cooked I made a meatloaf (he usually loves it..tossed it out because it wasn't touched), and I baked some chicken breasts with a floury onion coating and green beans. Instead of eating this, he had a spam sandwich yesterday. Why do I even cook?

I dont know what to buy at the grocery store anymore. Winter time we eat a lot of soup, but sujmmmer time? I DK!



 
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