That is painful. Sorry you experienced that. I would talk to your friend and then maybe to her mom. If the relationship is worth it to you have a few honest conversations and see if it can be salvaged. But be aware people aren't always what they seem. You may have just come across the tip of the iceberg.
I don't know why you would not care that someone you have known and loved for 10 years said suddenly said negative things about you to someone even if you are older. I think anyone would feel hurt.
I think you should talk to your friend and let her know that you were pretty hurt by what her mom said and how it seems out of character with the way she has treated you in the past. Ask if she knows what prompted this rant from her mom. Find out if your friend feels the same way as her mom.
I would probably not want to spend time with my friend's mom if she was talking about me like that behind my back so I would distance myself from her.
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I would talk to your friend and see how she feels. Just because this is how her mom and husband feel, it doesn't mean that she feels the same way. I would talk to her and tell her that you heard her mom say this and see if she agrees, if she does then unfortunately you may have to back off. My best friend and I have been friends since the 6th grade. We have not always agreed and there was about 5 years were we did not speak at all because of the guy she was seeing he was abusive and I did not want to see her hurt and she didn't want to leave. She finally did and now we have a relationship like nothing happened. Maybe you two just need a break. I know it hurts I have been there, but if she truly cares she will be honest with you.
I'm curious to know if this has ever happened to anyone else...or if maybe I am getting way too into my feelings (as my fiance said - I should just brush it off, does it REALLY matter?)
I met my best friend over ten years ago and we've been inseparable ever since. We grew up together, went through every life changing girl moment together, etc. Her family is like my family and vice versa. I mean, we might as well be sisters.
And because we always did things together...the same things would always happen to us...usually within weeks or months of each other. We got cars around the same time, we moved out around the same time, we graduated around the same time, we got engaged around the same time and she just got married...I'm getting married this September. Never has it ever crossed my mind that either one of us has copied each other. Some things would happen for me first, some things would happen for her first. We have always chalked it up to the universe doing work in our lives.
Yesterday, I stopped by my best friends moms house to deliver a few goodies...Her mom was there as was she with her husband. As I stepped out to the rest room, I overheard her mom ranting to my best friends husband about how I'm always "copying and trying to one up her daughter". He agreed. It hurt. Bad. One, I would never...and two...that someone I considered like my second mom would say that.
I guess where I'm going with this is...am I too old to care at this point? Am I getting way too into my feelings? Should I just let it go and slowly detach? I feel sad. She was definitely the last person I thought would judge me...weird.
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