Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

 
Message Boards
FORUM:   The Guys' Lounge
TOPIC:  

When is it OK to not wear a wedding ring?



 
 
Search the
Message Boards:
Search
      Share
Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

Author: Message: Sort First Post on Top


CHESHIREFAT
Posts: 137
10/24/11 12:35 P

Okay, well I posted a while back that I take mine off during Jiu Jitsu. Jokes on me. I left it at the gym on Friday and won't be able to get it back until today! At least my wife is understanding.



X5X52000
Posts: 6,013
10/6/11 7:37 P

i don't wear mine right now because of the weight gained(cant fit around my stubby fingers) but i am true to wife and she doesn't mind



TIDMUTT
SparkPoints: (23)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 17
10/6/11 9:06 A

I hardly ever wear my wedding ring, never been big on jewelery. My wife wears hers more but will sometimes not if she's worried about losing it and while she was pregnant due to swelling. Doesn't bother me at all, we don't need a ring to remind us we're married and if someone wants to flirt with her, they will, regardless of the ring. The guys around here don't care less if the woman is married. If you like to wear them, more power to you, but when my wife and I got married we both knew I would rarely wear mine and it wouldn't bother me if she didn't always have hers glued to her finger. My dad doesn't wear his ring either, I think they lost it long ago. They've been married for nearly 50 years. Just my 2 cents.



CHESHIREFAT
Posts: 137
9/30/11 8:00 A

I take Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. I take it off when I fight and I took it off when I went surfing.



GETNFITGUY
SparkPoints: (23,483)
Fitness Minutes: (25,247)
Posts: 734
9/27/11 12:18 P

I wear mine all the time except for when I'm at the gym lifting or playing golf.
Something about gripping a barbell or club in my hand and having the ring there makes it really awkward.



DWROBERGE
SparkPoints: (315,437)
Fitness Minutes: (294,787)
Posts: 58,908
9/23/11 9:53 P

If you are not married or you do not want pwople to know you are married!



REDDIERAZORBACK
Posts: 687
9/15/11 8:54 A

I do not think taking my ring off would lead me into situations that I would not want to be. Nor do I believe taking my ring off would limit my love or faithfulness. However, I do believe not wearing my ring sends a message to my wife. I think not wearing my ring could make her feel like I am taking our marriage for granted. Therefore, I rarely if ever take my ring off.



TEAMB-D1
SparkPoints: (6,698)
Fitness Minutes: (8,441)
Posts: 37
9/15/11 6:04 A

I'm a cyclist and can't stand it on my finger as I hold the handle bars ~ same way with lifting weights... so the ring comes off. But then I forget to put it back on ((oops)). Plus I've misplaced it about a million times, but always seem to find it. Glad I have an understaning wife!



MRAGGRO
SparkPoints: (2,364)
Fitness Minutes: (4,308)
Posts: 91
9/15/11 2:35 A

Whenever you do or don't feel like it. Does taking the ring off force you to commit adultery? Hell no.



DWROBERGE
SparkPoints: (315,437)
Fitness Minutes: (294,787)
Posts: 58,908
9/14/11 11:09 P

if not married.



ELISELA2011
SparkPoints: (70,266)
Fitness Minutes: (16,357)
Posts: 270
9/12/11 1:51 A

My parents never owned or wore any wedding rings, they were faithful to each other for life, my father just passed away 2 years ago. My grandmother, his mother, wore her wedding band most of the time I knew her though she was widowed as a young mother, till one day it slipped off and fell down the sink. She didn't fuss over losing it though she'd worn it for 60-something years after losing her husband.

When I got married I'd intended to NEVER take my ring off and wear it for life, more or less like my grandmother. But I got very sick and gained a lot of weight and the ring that was a little too tight on our wedding day ended up so tight it was cutting off circulation and they had to cut it off with a saw. I still carry that ring in my purse and wear a new ring now, and it's NOT for other people to see I'm married, it's for ME because I want to.

Hubby lost his original wedding ring that matched the one I had to have cut off my finger. He'd lost a lot of weight and it flew off his finger one day and he never found it. I mostly missed him having a ring that matched mine so after a few years of him ring-less we went shopping and got him a new ring that matches my new ring and we are a set again, and this makes me very happy. He has to take his ring off at work for safety/hazard reasons and I worry about him losing it there but I'm fine with the fact that he's not always wearing it.

Staying faithful and committed to your marriage isn't necessarily about having a ring on to broadcast unavailability. I think it's about personal choice but you need to work out something that BOTH of you are comfortable with and try to understand where each of you is coming from with your own life experiences, expectations, and feelings about it.



LOVES2RUN08
Posts: 549
9/6/11 11:34 A

This situation happened to me over the weekend. I met a guy out at a bar, got to chatting, flirting the whole bit and later found out through one of his friends that he was married!! Why do guys pull this sh*t? And no, no ring.



FITCHALLENGER
SparkPoints: (7,307)
Fitness Minutes: (10,690)
Posts: 349
9/2/11 5:20 P

When you've gained so much weight, it makes your finger turn purple!



SELF_CENTERED
Posts: 110
9/2/11 11:59 A

When you go out to a club or bar!

Everytime I have had mine on I have more women coming on to me than when I didnt wear it.





CHRISTINA791
SparkPoints: (39,642)
Fitness Minutes: (42,043)
Posts: 789
9/1/11 5:15 P

I always thought I'd be the type to skip wearing a ring because of damage to my left hand when I was little, but I'm surprised at how much I've gotten used to it (my engagement ring, anyway. Still have a few weeks left to go on the wedding band). Honestly, though, the main reason I wear it all the time is that I'm afraid I'd lose if it I was taking it off frequently. I know myself too well - it's either lock it up for special occasions, or keep it on my finger.

My fiancé won't be wearing his regularly because of his job. I'm perfectly fine with that, and I would be even if he was stuck at a desk all day like I am. We've been together long enough without metal on our fingers, and while I like the symbolism and it makes me smile because it reminds me of him (I know, sappy), it's not what our relationship is built on.



JELLE777
SparkPoints: (2,526)
Fitness Minutes: (748)
Posts: 103
9/1/11 5:00 P

Just went in for surgery last Friday. Not supposed to take jewellery in there so I took it off and left it at home for that one.



BDAVIES21
SparkPoints: (2,530)
Fitness Minutes: (3,535)
Posts: 78
8/28/11 8:52 A

Yes 28 years married...............I worn mine my husband never did......................Always been a ? over my head...



DAVEINSEOUL
SparkPoints: (36,802)
Fitness Minutes: (55,779)
Posts: 1,113
8/19/11 8:01 P

Neither my wife and I wear rings - and we've been happily married for 33 years. It's not about the ring - it's about the commitment.

That being said, this should only be done by mutual commitment. I can see many reasons why people my get paranoid by one or the other partner not wearing his/her ring.



JELLE777
SparkPoints: (2,526)
Fitness Minutes: (748)
Posts: 103
8/19/11 7:52 P

My wife was painting this weekend and got her ring covered in bright orange paint, so I'll say it's ok to remove it when you're painting. I only ever take mine off when I'm playing baseball, or landscaping. Any kind of home improvement and I think you have to take it off. Or lose it?



ARMSPORTS
Posts: 1,310
8/16/11 5:37 P

Neither my wife or I wear our rings very often and we have been very happily married for over 20 years. My reason will sound like a cop out or just weird but it's the honest truth: I am claustrophobic and had my ring get stuck on my finger a few times and really didn't like that feeling. I agree, the rings are symbols of our marriage and the vow we took before God to honor and love each other. But we feel our actions and words are more important and choose to focus on these rather than the rings.

If you keep the trust and the lust in the marriage, the rings can collect dust for all I care!



RPJAMESS1
Posts: 3
8/16/11 11:04 A

I wear mine all the time except when working on a vehicle or with power tools and when playing any kind of contact sport. Even then, you can see the depression and white band. My wife only takes her off to lotion her hands and then requests that I put it on for her.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
8/8/11 4:11 P

I got a new & better answer: When going out looking for women....... emoticon



AARONKBAKER
Posts: 127
8/8/11 4:05 P

I live on some acreage and I take mine off when doing "heavy" work outside. Other than that....pretty much always wearing it.



CCAR414
Posts: 66
8/6/11 8:24 P

I love my ring, I only take it off when I am taking a shower, going to sleep, or cleaning my house/getting my hands dirty- I can't imagine not wearing my ring most of the time, especially in public!



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
8/6/11 10:36 A

so you see, Eric, most people posting to your question has good reason NOT to wear their wedding ring. NOT wearing it cause it's just another piece of jewelry is totally ridiculous.



CTIL311
Posts: 136
8/6/11 9:06 A

I don't wear my engagement ring because it's clunky and in the Massage Therapy field it's not particularly comfortable for the clients.



SWITCHDOC
SparkPoints: (50)
Fitness Minutes: (20)
Posts: 1
8/5/11 7:52 P

I lost my ring several years ago when it fell into the crack between the windshield and the dashboard in our car. I know I should just buy a replacement (don't have the cash or technical no-how to tear the car apart to get it, assuming it is still there) but I guess I still hold out hope I'll be able to recover it someday. My wife has been pretty understanding about it, but if she said it was bothering her I'd buy a replacement immediately.

I agree both that it means a lot to me that my wife wears her ring, and that if her not wearing it hurts you then the best thing to do is talk with her about it.







73SUPER
Posts: 115
8/5/11 2:28 P

Mine never comes off. Too much of a hassle on/off..

My wife's does occasionally.. they are bulkier, and sometimes she just likes wearing other things. I have no issues with that. Why would I?



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
8/3/11 10:30 P

yeah, last time I checked 38 years old is still pretty young. Eric, too, at 43. Marriage is about commitment, faithfulness, and two becoming one under Gods law. The ring is a symbol of that love and commitment. All of this is in the traditional marriage vows. The world is not changing, only the people in it. Having said that, my husband recently lost his because he forgot to take it off while plumbing and it is in the sewer somewhere, so, for the sake of an argument, their are, like I said before, certain circumstances where it is ok to take it off.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
8/3/11 8:03 P

I disagree with that generalization. What's your definition of old?

I'm 43. Amy said she's 38, I think.



N0_EQL
Posts: 625
8/3/11 3:51 P

This topic is interesting in its demographic.

I find it interesting that the younger couples are less constrained by symbolism though very traditional in their values.

While the older posters tend to put a great deal of meaning in and define the relationship by the symbol.

Interesting indeed.



GHAJI830
Posts: 889
8/3/11 9:36 A

I wore mine always! Kind of strange but I continued to wear my wedding band for @ 3 plus years after my beautiful wife past away. Just could not bring myself to take it off as it was as if it was the last bit of symbolism still binding us together.

When I began dating; it kind of set a few ladies back but I knew i would lose the ring on my terms in my own time.



KAMLOOPSMAT
SparkPoints: (587)
Fitness Minutes: (498)
Posts: 37
8/3/11 1:40 A

I wear mine all the time, the only time I take it off is when I'm working out in the field...nearly lost it once or twice!



HAIL_10_
Posts: 386
8/2/11 1:57 P

:) Then just tell her it is. If hubs told me that he was hurt that I wasn't wearing mine, I'd put it back on in a hot minute.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
8/2/11 1:31 P

hail- you sound like my wife. that's her take. I am well aware of all of this, but to me the ring is important.



SUECHRIS50
SparkPoints: (57,073)
Fitness Minutes: (56,550)
Posts: 3,203
8/2/11 1:21 P

my husband never wears a ring but he knows he's mine!!women hit on men with a ring on!!



HAIL_10_
Posts: 386
8/2/11 9:04 A

Woman checking in here, not in the cafe:

I never wear mine. My husband always wears his. He is an electrician, I am an accountant.

It's a piece of jewelry. I've never liked wearing rings...Actually, I rarely wear any jewelry at all.
My main reason is that my ring is too large. I have no ulterior motives, and besides, it's just uncomfortable... I know where my bed is. I don't need a piece of metal to remind me...





CANRUNNER
SparkPoints: (2,541)
Fitness Minutes: (3,416)
Posts: 258
8/2/11 2:18 A

If it bothers you maybe you should bring it up with your wife? Tell her how you feel about it and listen to what she has to say about. It's a pretty personal thing and the only thing that matters is how you two feel, not other people's opinion.



NEXUS21
SparkPoints: (5,078)
Fitness Minutes: (1,914)
Posts: 10
7/28/11 10:54 P

I don't wear mine. I work in a lab that requires I take it off often, so instead I've talked to my wife about and we agreed I just keep it at home.

The ring is just that, our marriage transcends a piece of metal. If I ever notice that woman "is interested" I quickly bring up my wife in conversation and that's the end of that.



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
7/27/11 9:56 A

that's what I mean. It's ok if you have a good reason for not wearing one. The most important thing is to remain faithful to your spouse.



HGSGUY
SparkPoints: (118,037)
Fitness Minutes: (122,780)
Posts: 2,625
7/26/11 9:33 P

If you ever saw a person's finger ripped off their hand by their ring, (Neil Armstrong lost his jumping off a car in a parade!) you wouldn't wear one! They can be very dangerous. I never wear mine because I am around aircraft a lot and it is both an electrical hazard as well as a way to lose digits! I do wear it for special occasions, the rest of the time it is in my dresser drawer. My wife wears hers more than I do, but not too often. I know she loves me and love it when she waves to me with all her fingers.



Edited by: HGSGUY at: 7/26/2011 (21:36)


TLCOVERT1
SparkPoints: (22,079)
Fitness Minutes: (6,275)
Posts: 1,169
7/26/11 1:29 P

I could never wear it at work, so I got used to not wearig it. It's been in a dresser drawer for many years.



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
7/26/11 9:35 A

yeah, if there's a reason, sure. The original poster said that his wife just wears hers when she wants to, like any other jewelry. My husband rarely wears his because he's a plumber, well, when he's plumbing that is, but that's all the time just about. However, you're right that the biggest thing is faithfulness. What difference does it make if you wear a ring and you cheat on your spouse? I would rather you not wear a ring and be faithful to me. The point is, you are supposed to wear your ring AND be faithful like GOD intended, unless like I said, you have a reason.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
7/26/11 9:35 A

Safety/work concerns are one thing, and I'm all for taking my ring off in private to exercise, at night, etc.

But I have to admit- it did bother me that my wife did not wear her ring, that the guy flirted w/ her, and that i then found out that she regularly has done that.....

I trust her, and know the actual marriage is what counts, not the symbol. But as Wilkinson said, it almost is an "automatic" thing to look at someone's ring finger, and I thought it was a "yellow card" offense for her to do that!

emoticon Thanks for the replies.



WILKERSONR
Posts: 5,148
7/25/11 8:48 P

I agree with No_EQL that rings do not make you married however on I believe that most people in our culture view as a visual commitment of marriage.

My wife to my knowledge has only taken her rings off while water skiing, because her gloves are so tight. She wears the for everything else. She fishes, hunts, shoots, and does woodworking with them on. Me on the other hand I can't tell you the last time I have wore mine. My reason was a safety concerns, I still have it and it is out of round. One of these days I will wear it again. Even after being married for 14 years I look at a woman's ring finger. Not really sure way, just habit I guess.

If it bothered my wife that I was not wearing my ring when I was not working, I would wear it for her. I did tell her that a couple years ago.





Edited by: WILKERSONR at: 7/25/2011 (20:51)


N0_EQL
Posts: 625
7/25/11 7:44 P

The rings do not make you married. The covenant you swore to does.

Rings are not used in every culture, although marriage is honored. There are plenty of spouses out there disregarding their vows while wearing rings.

I think we put way to much trust in stuff when our trust should be in the relationships. Many people cannot wear their bands due to their jobs, it is a safety issue (equipment operators come to mind). That should not make them less faithful.

Do not esteem the emblem above the institution. IMO.







Edited by: N0_EQL at: 7/25/2011 (19:46)


TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
7/25/11 7:31 P

you're welcome. Amy



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
7/25/11 4:46 P

Thanks for the thought, Turtlesdove. I agree with your take.



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
7/25/11 4:38 P

Eric, I agree 100% with you. When you get married, two become one under God's law. A wedding ring is a symbol of your marriage, not to be taken off at certain times like it's another piece of jewelry. The only time I take mine off is when I've lost a little weight and it becomes a little loose, then I will take it off when I take a shower so that I won't lose it down the drain.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
7/25/11 3:52 P

Cross-posted on the "Cafe", too, so that I get the ladies' feedback there and the men's feedback here!

Situation: I always wear my wedding ring in public. When wife and I went to the heardware store yesterday, she went to pick up her paint order and I went down another aisle with our daughter to kill a couple of minutes and entertain her while we waited for my wife's order (a couple of cans of paint) to be filled.

When my daughter and I meandered back a few minutes later, the manager of the store was pretty brazenly firting w/ my wife, and offered to carry her order (2 cans of paint) for her to the car. My wife said, "no, my husband is right there", and pointed toward me. The manager's face clearly fell, and he dejectedly handed the paint over.

On the way out of the store, I noticed that my wife wasn't wearing her wedding ring, and said that this was probably why the manager flirted with her. She laughed and said, "I usually don't wear my ring unless we're going out together and I'm wearing my jewelry".

That ticked me off a bit, I must say!

There's no trust problem at all, but hey- when you're married, you're married- i say if you can wear your ring, you wear it in public at all times.

Thoughts?



 
Page: 2 of (2)   « first < prev page 1 [ 2 ]
Search  



Share


 
Diet Resources: vegetarian weight loss | vegetarian zinc sources | vegan diet plan