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Why is it so hard for me?



 
 
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MINKY1111
SparkPoints: (2,428)
Fitness Minutes: (3,190)
Posts: 80
5/15/12 9:57 A

hiiiiiii... yu just described my life for thirty years every nite at 9 pm... whatever dieting i did all day long..shot down by a bag of chips or ice cream.. lol sound familiar.. i gess lately i have a plan... an actuall plan for exactly when i wud notoriously screw it up.... you all ready know when yu give up.. lunch time.. ....yu r aware of when it goes wrong.. how about next time yu feel like that... have yur plan ready........ yur best plan... carry an apple, a granola bar, an orange , drink a glass of water and baby celebrate cause yu can get thru that 12 minutes when yu want something...its temporary.... after yu have the alternate...celebrate !!!!!!!!!!!that yu won this one time. and remember its great that yu did....we a re changing one moment to moment...gooooood luck....i never thought i wud give up ice cream but i did



FLAGAPHILE
SparkPoints: (945)
Fitness Minutes: (915)
Posts: 48
5/15/12 9:34 A

Thank you so much everyone. I'm determined to do better today, and if I slip up I'm not going to let it get me down. Like Madisonshine said, I'm going to start thinking of everything in terms of little goals. Looking back at how I've been thinking about this lifestyle change, it has always been in terms of monthes instead of day by day. I'm going to stop that kind of poisionous thinking. I need to do this for me.



MADISONSHINE
Posts: 11
5/14/12 11:22 P

Hi Flagaphile-

I've been in your boat - some days I still am. First, remember that it's not just hard for you, it's hard for all of us. It's hard - really, really hard. I don't know how to make it easy, but I do know some tricks that made it a little less hard for me.

One thing I noticed in your question was that some days you wake up ready and motivated to lose those 30 pounds. That feels impossible to me. I know you don't mean to lose 30 pounds in one day, but sometimes if the goal is too big, it feels impossible, so why even try? I use the "other goals" section of the goal tracker to make small, easy(er), manageable goals. When you add them all up, then they're doable. But they just look tiny. For instance, drinking 8 glasses of water is doable. I can walk 40 minutes a day (even if it's 2-20 minute walks). I can take the stairs at work. I can decide that JUST FOR TODAY I won't eat any sweets (and I can decide that tomorrow, too, but not until tomorrow). You'll have your own, these are just mine.

So you do the little goals - every day - and eventually you've lost 30 pounds.

In fact, the best way for me to have an all-out junk-fest is to think about not eating something for months. But I'm okay if I'm just not going to eat it today.

I would also argue that the feelings of worthlessness and the desire to eat are closely linked. I would suggest that the feelings come first. If your sense of worth comes from your size, then your problem is probably emotional as well as dietary (it certainly was for me). You might consider Overeaters Anonymous, as that's free and deals with the feelings underneath the hunger, which are the cause, while the hunger is just a symptom. Heal the cause and the symptom disappears. I'm not hungry because I don't feel worthless.

There's no easy fix, unfortunately, but all the stuff worth doing is hard. Do it anyway.

Blessings,

Madisonshine





SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
5/14/12 10:13 P

Hi FLAGAPHILE,

It's so easy for us to focus on all the could've, would've, should'ves instead on the positive things that we do.

Changing life-long habits takes dedication, determination, perseverance and most of all time. So many of us have made unhealthy habits such a big part of our life that it is going to take more than a few weeks or months to truly integrate the new habits into our lives so that we no longer have to think we just do.

If you look at this journey as a quick means to get to a certain number on the scale only to go back to the way you used to live, you will not keep it off for long.

Just by making small permanent changes into your life can lead to big results down the road. There is no place for perfection in this journey we call healthy living. One oopsie moment doesn't mean we have blown it for the day...we always have the opportunity to make healthy choices any time.

Every day brings the opportunity of new beginnings...if you fall, pick yourself back up and carry on and know that your SparkPeople friends are here to help you along.

And remember, our weight does not define who we are. That comes from our actions to embrace the life we are given.

Coach Nancy



GRACEMCC45
Posts: 1,134
5/14/12 8:03 P

Hey Flagaphile,

Only you will know when you are ready to do this and what things will help motivate you to get you there.

Try journalling. What happens between your motivated morning and noon that ends that motivation? What things in particular motivate you in the morning? If you have a smartphone or a calendar on your work computer, maybe every morning enter an alarm/reminder to pop up just before noon with your daily motivation.

If you aren't already a member, join Pinterest. There are thousands of pictures, ideas, and motivational messages on there that you can use to maybe create your own motivation/wellness board or collage.

As I said before, until you are ready, you're not ready!! All the best, and keep turning to Spark when you need a boost!




FLAGAPHILE
SparkPoints: (945)
Fitness Minutes: (915)
Posts: 48
5/14/12 7:40 P

Why is it so hard for me to stay motivated for one whole day? Everyday I wake up with such a "can do" attitude toward losing these 30 or so extra pounds I've been carrying around for what feels like my entire life, but by noontime I say "screw it" and eat everything in sight.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling worthless everyday, while another part of my brain and body begs to eat more. My motivation doesn't seem big enough up against this demon of my cravings. I'm just so mentally and emotionally exhausted from being and feeling fat my entire life, and yet I can't even bring myself to make it one whole day.

What can I do to finally make it stick?



 
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