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daughter graduating high school, I'm really down



 
 
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CARLENLLOYD
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2/11/13 1:34 P

I just stumbled across your post and I read this. It hit close to home as my daughter is graduating HS this year (2013) and it is bittersweet....how has the last year been for you?



JADOMB
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2/10/13 6:12 P

ENJOY. LOL We were actually fortunate that our son was able to do his 4 years of college as he lived at home. Our daughter was also able to do her first 2 years at college at home before she transfered. So we were able to slowly empty our nest. That is still tough as they grow up and need us less, but it's life. It is time for the parents to regain their lives as a couple and look forward to grand kids. ;-)



ANNALYN61
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1/31/13 2:00 A

Oh my gosh....this is me right now. How are things working out????? I cry ALL the time. My daughter (my only child) and I do everything together. I just can't imagine passing by her room and she's not in there. My life has been her and it's been so much fun. Being a mom has been easy. I am so blessed. I wish the years had gone by a little slower. Goodness, the tears are flowing...what is wrong with me????? She will graduate in May and off to college in the fall. She'll only be two hours away and she'll be in the same city as her father. We divorced when she was four and I remarried when she was eight. Her father and I remained friends and to this day, the entire families get along perfectly....all for our daughter who is most important. I am thankful we can all be friends. Wow....this is hard!!!



KBTYLER
Posts: 113
3/19/12 9:34 A

I thought I was the only one to feel this way. Our daughter will be 18 this April, and she is my only child. My husband has two kids but they are not in our lives. We has Ali in the first year of marriage. I have home schooled her and are very close. She will be leaving to go to college about 8 hours a way. I don't know what to do when she gone, I have been a stay at home mom her whole life. What do I do when she leaves?



MRSJOCCO
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3/13/12 12:28 P

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I think it would be a great idea to find a counselor who can help you find your own identity--a full and complete person separate from anyone else. You have the right to be happy just for being yourself!
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For me, the best way to make myself feel good is to help others. You obviously love kids, how about volunteering at a school, youth center, homeless shelter, after-school program, literacy center, peds unit of a hospital, etc.?

Your daughter will be so proud of you when you hit your stride and are living your own life, instead of living through her. Think what a burden that must be for her. Send her out into the world to discover herself, free of the "guilt of abandoning" you. You will have so much more to talk about then and she'll call because she wants to, instead of because she feels she has to.

Your relationship with her is a beautiful thing! Now put some energy into your marriage. You could try all kinds of things together: dance lessons, tennis, sailing, surfing, missions--the sky's the limit!
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Edited by: MRSJOCCO at: 3/13/2012 (12:28)


ILOSTMYWAY
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3/13/12 2:13 A

My daughter is graduating a year early. She has no plans on moving out yet. She will be just 17. I can't imagine my world without her in it each day. She has to grow up sooner or later. Maybe it can be a time for my husband and I to reconnect. Who knows what the future will bring.



FANNYFROST
Posts: 153
3/8/12 12:26 P

Hi,

My only child (daughter) is graduating in 2 1/2 months too. We just bought her prom dress yesterday. I understand all you are saying, but you are over-reacting. Here is the other side of the coin:

1- Alone with husband, you will find more time for the two of you. But now you will also find time for YOU!. I am sure you have things you like to do that you set aside to care for everyone else, well now its your turn to do what you want.
2- Loss of control - Man do I understand that one, but guess what you will hear from her at school more than you think. She actually will seek your advice and want to talk to you. I have friends with kids in college and that is what they tell me. The relationship is even stronger now.
3- Yes your daughter is growing up, but don't you still spend time talking to your mom, being with her. Well so will your daughter.

It is a hard time and a lot of mom's have trouble with it, but it is also a time to remember what a great job you did. She is ready to leave for college, she is a strong person ready to move to the next level, you did that. You created this wonderful grown up and the relationship will change, but you can talk and text (texting is great) and e-mail. These days even when our kids are far away, they aren't that far. I follow mine on facebook and twitter, so I usually know what is going on.

You can be great without the daughter around, it just take some adjustment.

Nancy


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ZORBS13
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3/7/12 7:43 P

I definitely think you are over-reacting. Your daughter won't be abandoning you. Children grow up, it is inevitable.



GONNADOIT23
Posts: 1
3/7/12 1:35 P

My daughter will graduate high school in 2 1/2 months. She is our only child together (husband has two boys from previous marriage but they moved to another state while they were still in grade school so we were use to them being away). My daughter is an amazing person (as I'm sure all parents think about their kids). Even though she's a teen she still enjoys time with family and we have a GREAT time together! She is my absolute favorite person to be around. We do a lot together.

I think my fears are coming from several things: 1. My husband and I were only married a little over a year before she was born, so I think it's maybe anxiety about the idea of just living together the two of us, 2. I can't imagine my life not seeing her every single day. We spend SO much time together and I thoroughly enjoy that and if I don't see her everyday I think I'll go crazy. 3. The fear of losing control--she no longer needs our permission to do anything and can move out whenever she chooses. 4. It's a sadness knowing that she'll be an adult and can end up getting married and starting a family of her own. 5. I just feel like it's all over because I don't have any kids to raise. I feel like life's ending and I'm entering the "old lady" phase because I won't be raising kids (I'm 41) and I just feel a huge sense of that I'll be old and life's on it's way downhill. I seriously see people with smaller children and just want to cry, especially if those people are around my age. I feel like if I'd waited longer to have a child, I wouldn't be alone so soon.

Just thinking about and especially talking about her graduating and moving on instantlly starts me sobbing and some days, like today, I'm very shaky and my heart just races and I'm constantly on the verge of panic. I desperately need some help. I need help from people who can encourage me and tell me that I'm over-reacting and it's not as bad as I'm thinking it is. My mother keeps telling me that I'm acting like she won't exist anymore. Thank you in advance for any and all help.





 
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