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daughter in pharmacy school, husband is iffy



 
 
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MOMSKISS06
SparkPoints: (628)
Fitness Minutes: (100)
Posts: 34
4/13/11 11:09 A

Wow!! When I read this post, it was like I was reading my "past life!" I can speak from experience here and know first hand the pain and frustration with trying to earn an education and not receiving the support from my spouse. For me, it was my husband (now ex) felt like school was "changing" me. He didn't like the fact that I knew more than he did, or the fact that he failed at education and dropped out. I believe he was frustrated and depressed with himself, and by dragging me down with him, he somehow felt better, or proud of himself. Through this time, I stayed dedicated to my education, still with little to no support from him. Our marriage got worse. His "best friend" owned a local bar, and I would find him holding up the bar after I just worked a full day plus attended school. I became depressed over the battle I was trying to win. I gained weight and started to loosen that grip on my "dream life" and started believing I was meant to live this way. It is amazing, the power of prayer, and how God can really bring about change. I prayed non-stop for an intervention. I am happy to report that God spoke to my heart and showed me my way out. First I tried talking to my husband, and letting him know what I was feeling. Of course, he didn't listen and tried turning my words around to cause me harm. I filed for divorce and kicked him out. I didn't have any more time to waste on dead weight. I lost weight, continued with my education, and strengthened my relationship with God.I reached deep within myself and found MY STRENGTH and made a much needed change.

I don't know how long your daughter has vested into this marriage, or what your faith life is like. My advice would be to leave before it gets worse. I thought that I would be able to change my husband, however the only time he ever changed.....is when I left! He had plenty of time to reflect on what went wrong, and how it went wrong. Even his family warned him that if he kept the selfish ways, he was going to lose the best thing that he ever had.

I must say, that when you are married to someone for 7 years, and combined with time dating and engagement, spent 11 years together, it is hard to break away. However, it was the right decision for me! I was able to find my true soulmate, that is supportive, loving, encouraging, and perfect!

I will pray for your daughter and her husband. I hope my testimony has been helpful.



YUKICAT
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Posts: 1
4/13/11 2:52 A

My married daughter just got into pharmacy school in another state. I wonder if anyone has experienced this situation- she has all of the education, he has none. He hangs out at sleazy bars for his fun, she studies. He is a repairman. She has gotten into a prestigious college, and he has never been to college. She will have a high paying career, several times what he makes.
I forsee big problems with the marriage- grad school is very demanding and expensive. He can barely support himself, and has a temper. She is going to be gone 14 hours a day, and studying when not gone. He is ALREADY showing signs of not being supportive. From what I have heard, pharmacy school can break many marriages.
She is getting frustrated with his lack of support, and she is going to need it the next 3 years. I think he is feeling threatened by her education, and future career. I think he is going to drag her down, but I don't want to say anything.
Any advice on someone who has gone through this situation? I haven't known many marriages that have worked when a woman makes several times what the man makes.



 
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