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EBONYSOL Posts: 2,378
6/8/12 9:19 A

My father died at the age of 85 and I was 40. Initially, I tried food and alcohol to fill the empty void in me; they didn't work and I just felt worse.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross was a pioneer in the field when she wrote Death and Dying (1969); she lists five stages of grief. Grieving is a process that one has to go through. You might want to attend a grief recovery group to get you through the hump because "This too shall pass."
Ask yourself what your grandfather would want for you - most likely the best.
While he is gone, he is within you always. You possess a host of thoughts and memories that will remain.
Be gentle with yourself. Take it one day at a time and keep it simple. Before you know it, his memory will evoke feelings of love and gratefulness.
Take care,
Cath
PS As for your husband's.... How to phrase it nicely? Tell him that you didn't appreciate his hurtful comment; you may have to explain why it was hurtful. If he continues being unsupportive in general, try to work around him and work towards YOUR goals. No use dealing with PMS - Putting up with Men's Sh*t/Stuff.


Edited by: EBONYSOL at: 6/8/2012 (09:34)
DAWNDMOORE40 Posts: 2,966
6/3/12 12:31 P

emoticon I am sorry about your loss TLBQUILTS! I pray that God heals you and lifts you up so that one day you can look back on memories of your Grandpa and do it with a smile instead of with tears! emoticon

GARDENSPARROW SparkPoints: (15)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 5
5/30/12 2:34 P

Oh, my heart went out to you as I was reading your post. Sounds like you've been through a rough time lately and I think a lot of us can relate to how you've been dealing with your grief. So, know you're not alone! Also, I just wanted to second a lot of the great advice that has been offered here already. It definitely sounds like you could use someone to talk to who can offer you encouragement and guidance in how to find better ways to deal with your emotions. I know it's not easy to take that step of contacting a counselor, but it really can make a world of difference. So, just my two cents. Also, if you're interested, I heard a broadcast (http://bit.ly/KIg7d9) recently while at Focus on the Family that talked about how our emotions can control our eating habits and how to break free from all those ups and downs most of us deal with in this area (at least I know I do!). Might be worth listening to if you have a moment. Well, know someone out there is praying for you as you work through these issues. Hang in there!

JESCOBEDO8 SparkPoints: (2,353)
Fitness Minutes: (958)
Posts: 79
5/29/12 8:46 P

First off, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing someone we love is never easy and all of us grieve differently. It sounds like your issue is more on how you cope, than in trying to lose the weight. You obviously CAN lose the weight, and congratulations on having done that before your Grandfather's passing. I think it's easy for anyone to get off track for a bit. That said, please allow yourself to grieve in other ways than with food. Is there anyone who is close to you that will listen to you vent, cry, or just talk? I think you should take care of those emotions first, and not try to bottle them up. Let them out when they come.....it takes time. But sooner than later, you will back on track. Envision what that your Grandpa would've wanted you to be healthy and energetic. Use this hurdle to make him proud and honor his memory. I lost my only sibling to cancer when he was only 27. One of the things that keeps me going now, is that I feel lucky to have made it to 42. He didn't get that chance, so, sometimes I remember all the pain he went through and I think, "I'm not in that siutation...I still have time to change my health and make it count!" Do whatever you can to focus on you and still allow yourself to grieve. I hope this helps and I'm not just rambling. I know it's difficult. But just wanted you to know you are not alone. Be strong and many blessings to you on this journey!

JENNYLT1 SparkPoints: (25,243)
Fitness Minutes: (40,376)
Posts: 275
5/20/12 1:25 A

Honestly it sounds like what would help you the most would be to see a counselor who can help you through your grief as well as provide cognitive behavioral therapy to help you with your sensitivity to comments etc. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really think you need to take care of yourself emotionally first, and then the physical changes will happen. Good luck sweetie.

TLBQUILTS SparkPoints: (33,271)
Fitness Minutes: (62,124)
Posts: 28
5/20/12 1:02 A

I have been a spark people member for about 2 years but for the last 7 months I have been awol and need some advice to get back on track. I was eating right, exercising 7 days a week and doing great, I had hit my first weight loss goal of loosing 25 lbs and had just bought myself a charm bracelet with the # 25 on one side & had the date engraved on the other side, I was also getting ready to start classes to become a certified nutritionist and then in Oct 2011 my grandpa died, he was more like a parent to me and it has been devasting and I completely gave up on my healthy eating habits and tried to drown my grief with food, I have put back on 10 lbs of the 25 that I had lost. I have been trying to build myself back up and find my happy place again but it seems like small comments from people can completely upset me, tonight I was wearing a summer dress that I felt pretty good in and my husband told me that it made me look pregnant, I was completely devastated and cried off and on for hours, I will now be donating the dress to goodwill. I would welcome any thoughts as to how to get back on track. emoticon emoticon

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