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GARDENSPARROW SparkPoints: (15)
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Posts: 5
4/11/12 12:43 P

Sorry to hear your children are going through a divorce. I think it's completely fair to be concerned about how this will affect your family and specifically your grandchildren. Divorce is not just hard on the couple...But, it sounds like you really want to be there for everyone during this time, and that's probably what's most needed. I'm sure your grandchildren will crave the stability of still having you in their life. Also, while at Focus on the Family, I came across on article at http://bit.ly/ICmaN9 that talked about what to do when your kids divorce. So, not sure if it will give you anything new to consider? Well, hang in there-sometimes it just takes time for things to settle down and for your family to find it's new "normal"!

NEWTINK SparkPoints: (65,833)
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Posts: 5,598
4/6/12 3:00 P

I thank all of you for your advice and prayers. It seems that at least for the most part I was already doing most of this. It is very hard as a mother not to just take over and protect them from all of this. I know that is unrealistic and I also know that he must suffer through this to become a even stronger and better man. I am glad to say that tonight he is going on his first date after separation he has done very well holding off any big comments till he has some closure but i do think it is time for him to move to a different phase now. It is best for him and the grandsons. I have cautioned him though not to bring to many different women into the boys life that will only lead to confusion for them.

PEARLBLACK Posts: 34
4/5/12 7:45 P

Your concerns are not insane, because their true concerns regarding your son and grandchildren. I am the grandmother of fraternal twin boys. There parents got a divorce when they only 3 years old. I maintained a long distance relationship with my grandsons. My daughter-in-law was very angry with my son and really did not want any thing to do with me. I kept praying and pressing on. I wanted to have a relationship with grandsons, just as I had with my grandmother as a child. It is important to support our children and grandchildren. Yes this is a very difficult time for everyone. I pray you are able to make it with turning to comfort foods. In our case the families are very different also.

My daughter-in-law would communicate with me no matter how angry she became with my son or me. I even made a couple trips to see them by myself. The boys lived in another state and started coming for the summer when they were 5 years old. They have gotten to know my family and friends. It has such a blessing having them in my life.

I pray that something I have shared will encourage you.

PearlBlack
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Edited by: PEARLBLACK at: 4/5/2012 (19:46)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (57,027)
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Posts: 9,646
4/5/12 5:36 P

I think the best thing you can do is simply be there. Offer your help to your son and your grandchildren, and offer to give him time off whenever possible. THey get bonding time with you, and he gets some time to take care of his own business unencumbered by small children.

Don't offer advice, don't offer platitudes, but offer a helping hand and a listening ear... there's no such thing as too much love! (Also, if you like to cook... some home-cooked meals would probably be appreciated by all three boys!

NEWTINK SparkPoints: (65,833)
Fitness Minutes: (54,806)
Posts: 5,598
4/1/12 7:47 P

Hi, This might seem completely insane but I am a parent of a son that is getting divorced. He has two sons ages 2 and 4. They are so little and this is so confusing to them. I am never sure what to say or to help through this difficult time. The two families are so different. I feel completely helpless and alone right now. If there are any more out that might be going through the same thing i would love to talk. This plays a huge part of my life right now and the more I struggle with it the more i just want chocolate lol however so far I have fought off that urge very successfully.

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