@TR, thanks for the honest input. I think I'll just go by how I think I look. But gosh darn those skinny mirrors in the department store. LOL!! Seriously, though, I thank you alot for the input. You are absolutely right and you couldn't have said it any better. When I'm in a tight 12, I will know I need to lose some poundage and when I'm in a comfortable 8, I will know I'm just right. I won't have to ask anybody anything. YeeHawww!!!
Re: your comment: "No guy should voluntarily tell his girl she is fat, but if she asks for his opinion then she should be able to accept it."
This is the key. When girls ask whether they look fat they're generally not looking for honesty, but rather reassurance.
When I really want to know about whether an outfit looks good or not, the words I say to my husband are, "Darling, there's something a bit funny about this outfit. I'm not sure if it looks good. What do you think?" In other words, "Give me some feedback, and it's okay to say that the outfit looks horrible on me."
When I'm feeling insecure about my appearance, I don't ask those questions at all because I know I won't be happy with the answer I get regardless of what the answer is. Instead, I pour myself into something very short accompanied by high heels. Throw a jacket on top, all trouble spots are hidden away and I feel MUCH better.
Fitness Minutes: (38,001)
470 4/23/12 3:17 P
Those are a no win type of questions you have there, but I always figure it is better to be honest and sleep on the couch for a while than lie and just live with it. No guy should voluntarily tell his girl she is fat, but if she asks for his opinion then she should be able to accept it. But this is coming from a guy who is currently single from being honest I guess...lol
There are some questions that a girl should never ask her guy. They include any variant on:
"Does this _____ make my ____ look fat?" "Is ______ prettier / thinner / hotter / whatever-er than I am?" " Do I need to lose weight?" Etc.
Because the only answer a guy can give without risking his relationship (and his neck, and nether regions) is "No! Of course not! What would even make you THINK such a thing!"
When you box a man in with an unanswerable question, even if he's telling the truth when he says "No", you won't ever quite believe him. So I wouldn't bother asking the question.
The question you really want to ask is, "Why do I feel fat when I wear this dress?" or "Why do I think that girl is hotter than I am?" or whatever else is really bugging you. Once you know, then you can do something about it, and stop putting your guy on the hot seat. It's not comfortable for them up there...they squirm and fidget and it makes them miserable.
And what guy doesn't want a happy wife who feels sexy in her own skin, regardless of her size?
I believe, and I should have known all along, that there is no real ANSWER to this question. If he tells me, look, I love you, but you need to lose some weight, he may think he will hurt my feelings, but he won't, because I can lose weight. If he tells me I'm ugly, then yes, that would hurt my feelings, cause there is nothing I can do about ugly, and there is only so much makeup that a girl can wear. LOL! Regarding weight, I'm not a mind reader, and I really will never know if he DOES think I look great, or he's just sayin that cause he loves me, so I just need to get over it already. Ok guys, did I just answer my own question?
I agree with previous comments: he's just trying to tell you he loves you no matter what. No man who wants to share a bed with his wife is going to say, "Yeah, babe, I think you're still looking a little thick. Maybe you should run more."
Fitness Minutes: (38,001)
470 4/6/12 6:41 P
It is hard to know what is in someone's mind, also did you hear his exact words or just basically what he was saying? If a guy says "I love you no matter what size you are." then he might just be trying to keep himself safe but he might like the fact that you are getting in shape. But it will come with the price of more guys hitting on his wife so he might not like that idea. As guys we know that girls are always setting little traps for us so we have to watch what we say sometimes...lol. Just do what makes you happy and hopefully he will see your mood getting better and will just like that part. Good Luck
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 4/6/12 5:17 P
I cant think of a better compliment than the one when you are told that I love you for the way you are.
lol!! So I guess there is no true way of knowing what a guy is thinking unless you are a mind reader. Thanks, I thought so. I guess the old saying, "you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself" is the best advice, huh? OR wait, that's a song, isn't it? With you guys help, I guess I just solved the problem! Thanks again.
Fitness Minutes: (12,157)
574 4/6/12 11:35 A
armsports- there is no such thing as too skinny for some of us.
I think every one has lied to their woman about how they looked. For example if you told the truth about an outfit that looked ridiculous just before leaving for a wedding, #1- she would cry for an hour and say she's not going and #2- she would try on everything in the closet but never trust you again even when you tell her she looks great. You would get to the wedding in time for the divorce, if your lucky.
ok guys, I honestly know that I need to lose about 10 or 15 more pounds due to the fact that I still have a bit of a belly and love handles. Ok, having said that, my husband tells me the other day that I don't need to lose anymore and I look great. OK, my question is, have you ever told your spouse or girlfriend that she looked great even if you thought she didn't? Because you love them and don't want to hurt their feelings, or something like that? Be honest now!
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.