It sounds as if you've "tried to find a buddy" by posting a few times in the Cafe. Am I right?
That's essentially the same as tacking up a little 3x5 card somewhere in Times Square that says, "Please be my friend. Amwhalia." Having your page private is like not putting a phone number on that card. The only way anyone can get in touch with you is by writing on that card, "Okay. Here's my address and phone number!" You're asking other people to do all the reaching out and exposing themselves. They can't even see if you belong to any teams, what you're interested in, how old you are... It's hard to be friends with someone who's tucked away in their house with the door locked, the drapes drawn, and the phone unplugged!
There have been over 100,000 posts in the Cafe over the last month, by the way. If that's the only place you've been posting, 9 posts in 100,000 are pretty easy to overlook. You'll get a lot more response on other message boards-- but the best place to find friends is always going to be the Teams. Make your page public so people can wave at you, join some small teams and join in on the conversations, "friend" people whose posts seem interesting (and then comment on their page and/or blogs, because not everyone is signed up to get an e-mail when they get friended), and just generally participate. You can't make friends if you never go where the people are!
Fitness Minutes: (10)
7/7/12 9:39 P
Are you putting yourself out there?? I find it to be an amazingly supportive site... hang in there and keep searching... you can do this!
I'm with the peeps who say keeping your spark page private puts people off. You have to let us in.
Fitness Minutes: (4,511)
7/7/12 9:22 P
Reach Out to someone
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 7/7/12 9:08 P
What is Ixne??? Curious minds need to know.
7/7/12 6:51 P
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 7/7/12 6:31 P
I thoroughly enjoy the comraderie in SP, but as many have said, keeping you page private is a huge road block to meeting new friends and gaining insite. We have all walked down the same road, more or less.
7/7/12 4:07 P
the teams are a great way to make new friends on here :)
Fitness Minutes: (56,791)
4,780 7/7/12 1:26 P
There is an old saying, "The best way to have a friend is to be one."
I see you haven't made a lot of posts. If you join teams and/or challenges -- and express your support for other people, you will find that people start recognizing you there and start supporting you in return.
I also agree with the others in that it would help to change your privacy settings so that people you meet here could visit your Sparkpage.
I'm sorry you feel that way, I have one really great Sparkbuddy and I love her!! I'll be your buddy, just let me know
7/7/12 10:34 A
As others have stated, you get what you put into it. I have been on here a few years and while I don't have as much time now to post as many comments on others blogs and pages as I would like to, I still feel like the amount that I contribute has helped me to gain SP friends on here.
Definitely put your page settings to public so others can comment and read your blogs (if you feel comfortable doing so) and get to know you. Spark People is an awesome site and while I may not know the people I meet on here in person, I feel like I've really received so much help and support through the online friendships we've made.
Fitness Minutes: (35,465)
2,323 7/7/12 10:26 A
I love Spark and don't have anyone following me on my blogs or elsewhere. I have done the bootcamps and joined a few groups. I also like to use the map section to map out my walks from my house.
This is a weight loss and information site with all the really great articles. This is not a site to find friends in your new neighborhood. Maybe you need to look again at what you want.
Fitness Minutes: (4,316)
1,418 7/7/12 10:03 A
You might also try challenges, often daily check in thread with all the members aiming for something in common.
You are also welcome to friend me, trouble is I am in a doctoral program and become so swamped that I would disappear as a friend for weeks on end - thus I am stepping back from that role.
Fitness Minutes: (7,710)
7/7/12 9:03 A
Wow... sorry to hear that.
7/7/12 8:54 A
You were smart to post your concern on the message boards. Hope you take the suggestions to change your settings.
Look at your settings...Private?...Not conducive to support....
Fitness Minutes: (419)
100 7/7/12 8:37 A
Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this way. I have meet some amazing people on this site. Maybe you need to rethink your private setting on your Spark Page. I get awesome posts on my page from fellow Sparklers encouraging me to be the best I can be while at the same time I post messages to others Spark Pages. Slowly but surely I am building a great network of friends. Check out my Spark page! Good luck.
I'm sorry that you're feeling that way! I've found spark to be the exact opposite. Feel free to check out my sparkpage, add me as a friend if you think we'd be compatible, or throw me some sparkmail if you have a question!
Fitness Minutes: (157,176)
3,908 7/7/12 7:17 A
you're on private- makes it hard to start a spark friend relationship- check out those teams, look for the active people that are posting frequently- there are some wonderful people on this site
Fitness Minutes: (83,980)
47,641 7/7/12 6:49 A
Please make sure your settings are correct. It will be fun having a buddy of your own age. I find SP very supportive but I also had a slow start. Get going by posting on other people's blogs and on message boards, like this one. Give and you will receive.
7/7/12 6:44 A
Ive been on SP for a little while now - on and off, and Ive come to realize that what I put in, is usally what I get back. There truly are some amazing people on this site. It takes a little time and effort, but it's worth the investment.
I have found SP to be very supportive. The teams are a really helpful way to get to know people. Search for teams that match up with things about you such as what kind of diet or exercise you are following or interested in learning about, your hobbies, interests, age group, career, geographic area, etc.
I agree that you should set your page so that people can see it...that is how I get to know more about other members. I love reading blogs and commenting on them and often I get a reply.
What is it that you want to gain from SP? Lose weight? Learn more about fitness or specific diet plans? Learn more about becoming healthier?
Feel free to take a look at my page or some of my blogs or send me a Sparkmail.
7/6/12 11:20 P
Setting your page to PRIVATE does not encourage friendships....
7/6/12 11:03 P
I have been trying to find a buddy to help keep me motivated and accountable for a month now. I have gotten zero responses. Support doesn't exist for me on this site. It is starting to get really frustrating. I moved to a small town so it is hard to find support in my local community. I was hoping to find some online. Getting really discouraged.
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