First of all, I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine going through that. I too, am a mom of 4 little ones (ages 5, 4, 3, and 8 mo.). I think you already said it yourself: you need to find little ways here and there to incorporate good habits. Start small and don't do everything at once. Have you dealt with the emotional piece of having gone through such a significant loss? That stress and sadness I'm sure doesn't help with weight loss. Remember, you were pregnant and your body has to decide when it's ready to start losing. Start with short walks with your kids, playing tag outside, anything to get you up and moving. My husband used to give me 45-60 minutes 2 nights a week where he would entertain the kids so I could ride my exercise bike or do a DVD. Turns out my kids liked the DVDs and would join me. Now because of our summer being so crazy, I work out at 5:15 in the morning for about 60 minutes. You can start small though, 10 minutes here and there.