Thankyou so much for your love and support, also your advice. You will be pleased to know I have the same sort of mind and have written a long letter to husband about a week after he moved out with all that I have issues with, what I would like from my partner and what I see as my own goals. I asked him to do the same :-) We have also done counseling in the past and I have said we would need to do it again as we both have baggage and we both need help with our relationship too.
I was touched by your story and agree PTSD is something many of us only associate with soldiers etc, I also know until we have it pointed out how much things from our own past can be influincing us without us even being aware
Anyway thanks for the goodie (soooo much more than a goodie) Deb