they called me monkey for the rest of the day
i'm a wheel!
howdy, my name is sara and i live in santa fe, new mexico. i'm an artist, so this is a pretty good place for me to be. i'm orginally from pittsburgh (go steelers!), but i plan to stay out west as i love the landscapes and huge skies. i have two cats that are my babies, i'm single and a lesbian and i'm very happy with myself....just not always my body. here's my story...
starting in middle school and high school i put on a lot of pounds. i was very unhealthy and, looking back, had an unnatural obsession with food...bad food. i kinda have to blame my parents for that as i grew up on soda, candy, chips, ice cream, fried food, 3rd helpings, and always desserts. once you grow up like that it's incredibly hard to kick it. plus i worry about the long lasting effects that kind of diet had on my health. i don't plan on having kids, but if i ever did they would not know soda or candy.
i used those foods as some sort of coping mechanism. i was afraid to be myself, or i didn't know how. keeping on the weight meant that no one paid attention to me, especially boys. i didn't know how to explain to me or anyone else that i didn't really feel like i 'should'. it wasn't until college that i came to terms with my sexuality, but by then my habits were ingrained and i still didn't know how to change them. in grad school i 'grew up'. i started to live my life as i should have been and became comfortable with myself. it helped me flourish with my art and even got me my first girlfriend!
at this time i was starting to see the world in a bigger picture. my parents had always kept us in a bubble as if nothing else existed. i realized that i had this wanderlust and wanted to try new things, go new places, meet new people, eat different foods. i started experimenting more and becoming more and more confident in myself. it felt good. i joined a gym and lost about 40 pounds on my own. i was up to about 210 before that. i hit a plateau at this point so i joined a weight loss program and dropped another 40 in four months! i was at my lowest weight ever, 130!
but as i finished the program and went off to 'real life' with no one to monitor me, i gained the 40 back. using my knowledge and experience, i am down to about 152. i want to be back at that 130, but i know it will take more work. i'm trying to wrap my brain around doing it myself without anyone telling me what to do. basically, i'm working on my will power. i've done it once before, i can do it again.
my main issue right now is a medical one. after a severe case of mono about 5 years ago i have been in a horrible cycle of chronic fatigue and headaches. sometimes i completely relapse with sore throat, ears, swollen lymphnodes, headaches, and always extreme fatigue. even slight exertion and stressful situations can cause me to be ridiculously tired. i'm learning to take it slow and i'm going to start concentrating on food moderation to lose this weight with light exercise including walking and yoga. i'm also about to embark on my first attempt at a master cleanse in hopes of removing toxins from my body that may be causing the chronic fatigue and headaches. i want to be free and full of energy again!
I want to lose about 20 pounds. I want to look better, feel better, have more energy, have more confidence, and not hate clothes shopping.
i need to get back into a routine of exercise and start counting calories again. i've forgotten to pay attention to what goes into my mouth! i want to work up to at least 200 minutes of exercise a week. no more snacks at night. keep drinking green tea every day as i've been doing. drink more water and less alcohol.
my name is sara and i'm 33 living in santa fe, NM. i'm an artist and currently working at a gallery on canyon road. i hail from the pittsburgh area, go steelers! you can see my art at www.sarashawger.com
i play softball.
i love yoga.
i love taking photographs.
i love road trips.
i love my two kitties!
i read poetry.
i collect small art works.
i draw and paint.
i secretly want to chuck all my personal belongings and walk all over the world.
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| current weight: 175.0