BE-THE-CHANGE   99,081
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80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
 
 
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Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I started SparkPeople in earnest on May 29, 2009. I joined in January of that year, but stopped coming after a few weeks. In between those dates, my weight hit a high of at least 433 (my scale at home didn’t go that high – this was at doctor). I started to lose a bit and by the time I really started working here I was down to 403. By January 1, 2010, I was down to 300. In my memory, things went very smoothly but after looking back at old charts and blogs, I realize I was deluding myself. ...
I started SparkPeople in earnest on May 29, 2009. I joined in January of that year, but stopped coming after a few weeks. In between those dates, my weight hit a high of at least 433 (my scale at home didn’t go that high – this was at doctor). I started to lose a bit and by the time I really started working here I was down to 403. By January 1, 2010, I was down to 300. In my memory, things went very smoothly but after looking back at old charts and blogs, I realize I was deluding myself. I had lots of issues with family and work. I had several weeks where I lost “only” a pound and several more with no change at all. But I never had an increase, until one week before my 1-year Spark anniversary.

The week before I had posted: “I keep staring at my pictures on my page and I don't recognize myself. I see/feel parts of my body and they are thinner but I can't wrap my mind around the whole picture. I know my mindset is changing but sometimes I don't know what is really me and what is just what I think I 'should' be.” People were looking to me as a role model and I felt like a fake, a fraud. The next week I had some disappointments at work and I ate my anger and frustration. I gained 6 pounds that week! Over the next 3 weeks, I lost them again plus three more. I hit my low of 253, which was 150 pounds lost in just over a year. But emotional eating took over and I gained 12 pounds in the 2 weeks after that. A week later I was in the hospital having gall bladder surgery.

Things came apart after that. I kept coming to SP, but I wasn’t really blogging about anything of substance. I had lots of “reasons” (read excuses). In the end, they didn’t matter. What did matter is that by mid-October I was back up to 300 and by March 2011 I was at 350. And still I didn’t stop. I’d gain, lose a little, gain back more. At the end of May 2011, I started a new page with a new name. I tried resetting all my trackers (more than once). But I still kept gaining. In August 2012, I was up to 407, which was just past where I started in May 2009. For the past 18 months, I have bounced up and down, between 390 and 410.

I can’t keep doing this to myself. On February 2, 2014 and 396.2 pounds, I reset my trackers for the last time. I just got rid of the comic strip image and put up a real picture. I am going to stop with the “do-overs” and just keep going. Life is never going to settle into a routine. There is no normal. Bad things happen to good people. I can’t let that in my way anymore.

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl
Read More About BE-THE-CHANGE (Updated March 26)


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BE-THE-CHANGE Happy birthday to my son, BUCKUNSTOPPABLE!
set 3 days ago


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 current weight: 377.2 
 
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Member Since: 5/29/2011

SparkPoints: 99,081

Fitness Minutes: 45,427

My Goals:
I want to be fit and healthy.

My Program:
Track every day and stay in the SP recommended range.

Drink a minimum of 80 ounces of water a day.

Increase my steps to at least 10,000 and set up a strength routine.

Personal Information:
My name is Debbie. I am 56 years old and married for almost 35 years. Although born in Queens, NY, I have adopted Pittsburgh, PA, as my hometown.

Other Information:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.

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Member Comments:
REENYBEANS
4/16/2014 10:59:01 AM

Best of luck with the spring challenge.

Reenybeans (Maureen) Team Tangerine



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PANFRIEDTROUT
4/16/2014 12:49:55 AM


dropped by your page to spread a little "Legendary Lemon" cheer! wishing you the best in this Challenge and in the rest of your journey to a healthier you!

Marie




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MSHOPPER63
4/15/2014 9:19:46 PM

Spreading a little Sapphire love on your page. Keep that Spark shining bright, your worth the effort emoticon



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DYNAMICDEB53
4/15/2014 8:07:46 PM

Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no results, one day a LIGHT that is in exact proportion to them will fold the soul…..Simone Wief

Hoping that day is soon...Have a great week!!
Deb a shining Blue Sapphire



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ICECUB
4/15/2014 7:13:28 PM

THANK YOU FOR ADDING ME AS A FRIEND



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