With my oldest son...
Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
CALLIKIA is a SparkPeople Motivator!
Finally meeting my goals!
I'm a 30-something year old wife and mother in rural WV. I have a full-time desk job that sometimes sends me on the rural roads of WV and a portrait photographer that makes me love pictures of others way more than any picture ever taken of me.
I started getting into the "fat girl" range at the age of 5. I've struggled with Weight Watchers and diet classes and Sonoma Diets and everything in between for my entire life. It's made me hate myself and my body way more than I should and keeps me from my goals of body positivity. After leaving the nest, I put on weight for the next couple years like it was my job. By 2004, I had balooned up to 466.6 pounds and considered gastric bypass surgery (my mother had already had it and been successful). 12 months of testing later, we were ready to put everything into the insurance company for pre-cert...and my husband's employer dropped their bariatric coverage.
I vowed then to do whatever I could to control my weight in whatever way I knew how. I struggled. A LOT. I fought an ailing body and crippling self-esteem. I did what I could and eventually got myself down to 360-380.
And then we moved to WV and I had to restructure my life all over again. I was without my husband half the week and, as such, parenting alone much of the time. I had no work and no friends and nothing in the area to do. I tried to find ways to make it work for me. In 2010, I found Spark, and it did light a Spark. I met some amazing ladies I would never give up in my life who pushed me to be the greatest me I could be. And I was. I was absolutely amazing. And I thought I was unstoppable. I was running 5ks and training for half marathons and putting myself out there and feeling positive about my body.
And then it broke. I got plantar fasciitis and hip bursitis and tendonitis and a million other problems in my back and hips that caused me to have to put a halt to my number one motivator - time in the gym. I went from being on fire to being put out. First Zumba had to go. And line dancing. And boxing. And running. And then even swimming hurt. And, finally, lifting. I spent 6 months at 300.6 pounds, chasing the elusive 200s...and I never found them. Within the next two years, I fell apart emotionally. My marriage took a dive. My kids were growing up and changing and life just felt so completely out of my control. I entered therapy back up in the high 300s and completely broken mentally and physically. I felt like I was steps away from a wheelchair and the end of my life.
I finally made the decision to try the surgery route again. I figured, maybe it would be the tool that would help me get back to those 300s so I could start my fight FROM there and not spend half as long breaking my body to GET there. I needed help, and it was the only help I knew that was left. Many of my Spark friends had moved on and the support just wasn't what it once was. I started a medically supervised diet in January 2015 at 460.6 pounds. Just 6 pounds shy of my highest recorded weight. I hated myself.
I had surgery on November 2, 2015. The gastric sleeve. We have yet to see what all this will do for me, but I'm trying to remain hopeful. I can tell you that it's mental torture in the beginning. Liquid diets and protein shakes and soft foods for a month. It's literally the hardest thing I have ever done (and I've done Whole 30 TWICE, y'all!). I'm wishing I had the support I once had from my girls here. I'm wishing I could find my Spark again...but I feel a little alone right now and I'm struggling with how that feels.
My hope is to find myself somewhere near 170-190. I feel like I'd be good there. I feel like that would feel like me and I could have my positive self back. Working out truly makes me feel like I'm in control of my life and I'm doing the best things possible for it. (I'm a BEAST in the gym!) This isn't going to be easy. Nothing ever is.
(1) Lose 50 pounds since pre-op diet. - DONE!
(2) Lose 100 pounds from highest weight. DONE!
(3) Get back to the 380s. - DONE!
(4) Under 350. DONE!
(5) Find 300.6 again. DONE!
(6) The elusive 200s. DONE!!
(1) No more seat belt extender. DONE!
(2) Drop a pants size. - DONE!
(3) Fit in the majority of my closet again. DONE!
(4) Find the need to finally buy new. DONE!
(5) Airplane seats. DONE!
(6) Booths. - DONE!
(7) Car seats. DONE!
(8) Hiking stamina. ?MAYBE?
(9) Distance walking. DONE!
(10) Gym Rat status. DONE!
After being sleeved on 11/2, I have strict guidelines for at least the first year, but really until I get to goal.
Protein - 60-79g per day
Liquid - 64oz per day
Low sugar (no more than 10g per serving)
Possibly lower in fat
Esther. 35. WV. Two beautiful boys - Logan (17) and Ethan (14). Two dogs (Joey and Champ) and two cats ("Tiggy" and Link).
I'm a photographer by trade (which I do in addition to my FT job). I love portrait photography! I love to travel and explore. Hiking is awesome! Love rowing. Hoping to find more adventure related likes along the way.
Secrets of Success
This user doesn't have any secrets of success.
| Pounds lost: 176.6
Hi Esther, I just read your blogs. I am only on Sparks each morning very early for little time. May the year 2017 bring you all the best, you are doing awesome on your journey. Take care, Josee
5 days ago
You look amazing -- sounds like you have started 2017 off with a bang!!
15 days ago
I hope your having a wonderful week so far! We've got this!!
226 days ago
For anybody interested in participating in a BLC, please go to my page and click the BL Spring Challenge ALL Teams team. You can join the all-teams page and put your name on the list for the Summer challenge! If you'd like to join my team, the Dazzling Diamonds, let me know and I'll get you signed up for our team!
There are 10 teams, 24 team members each, and it's a 10 week challenge!
Come join in the fun, meet some great people and work toward your goals!!!
251 days ago
Happy Birthday, DONE GIRL
In Capricorn, the Sun is strongly goal-directed and persistent. Ambitious, serious and dedicated to duty, life is difficult, but you are the type of person who will triumph and achieve success. Your aptitude to persevere, no matter how difficult the road, sets you apart from most of your peers. You are anxious to climb the ladder of fortune, and you can usually reach your goals because of your sense of the right way of doing everything. Your patience is never ending.
The Capricorn child has a hard life and is given a lot of responsibility early on and is never able to be "just a silly kid." She is "old when young" but know she will stay young when old. Capricorn gets along well with Virgo, Pisces, Taurus, Cancer and sometimes Scorpio, but she will not allow Scorpio to run her life, so that can be an issue. She can have problems with headaches from stress and trouble with her knees.
You are a very thoughtful and serious person, thinking everything through carefully before you set off in any direction. You possess excellent reasoning skills, and you can be counted on to select options that are both practical and that provide an economic advantage. Your attitude is conservative; conservative with time, money, and all other resources. Your philosophy is waste not, want not. You are also likely to be conservative in your political and social attitudes, although your age, upbringing, and education perspectives may influence this somewhat.
You are especially well suited to business and government because of your sense of organization and structure. You combine a talent for management with an ability to carry out instructions with care. You are the quintessential careerist, taking job and duties very seriously. Therefore, you are never one to shirk responsibility and you have very little use for those that do. That which matters most to you is your public image. You show your best face to the public. You enjoy being in a position of power and authority, although you are not very much inclined to enjoy the limelight. You may prefer instead to run your business from an isolated perspective. You are loyal and dedicated, and you demand utter loyalty and dedication from subordinates. Advancing up the ladder of success is all important. You are unconcerned about, sometimes even ruthless toward, those getting in your path as you move upward.
You don't handle chaotic situations very well. You may need to develop the ability to lighten up a little and not take life, and everything else so seriously. Although you are self-disciplined, responsible, and practical, at times you can wallow in self-pity. It's essential for you to remember that your most important asset is self-esteem, and you should never devalue this. Rigidity and fear of change may be your biggest stumbling block.
Sober and reserved in your dealings with others, it takes you a good while to warm up enough to anyone to be considered a close friend. Yet once you do, you are a very caring, reliable, and most steadfast ally. Your private side is different from your public side. In private you are shy and sensitive. The harshness of your public image disappears. Emotionally demanding relationships are very difficult. Love relationships may be more like business relationships, and you are unsure of yourself in most intimate situations.
376 days ago