CALLIKIA   25,048
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25,000-29,999 SparkPoints
 
 
2014 - Summer in Nags Head





I want my waist back...





September 2012 - I wish I knew how good I had it...I need to get back to this!



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Too Many Times to Count

I miss 2012. But we can't turn back time, can we?

I'm a 30-something year old wife and mother in rural WV. I have a full-time desk job that sometimes sends me on the rural roads of WV and a portrait photographer that makes me love pictures of others way more than any picture ever taken of me.

I started getting into the "fat girl" range at the age of 5. I've struggled with Weight Watchers and diet classes and Sonoma Diets and everything in between for my entire ...
I miss 2012. But we can't turn back time, can we?

I'm a 30-something year old wife and mother in rural WV. I have a full-time desk job that sometimes sends me on the rural roads of WV and a portrait photographer that makes me love pictures of others way more than any picture ever taken of me.

I started getting into the "fat girl" range at the age of 5. I've struggled with Weight Watchers and diet classes and Sonoma Diets and everything in between for my entire life. It's made me hate myself and my body way more than I should and keeps me from my goals of body positivity. After leaving the nest, I put on weight for the next couple years like it was my job. By 2004, I had balooned up to 466.6 pounds and considered gastric bypass surgery (my mother had already had it and been successful). 12 months of testing later, we were ready to put everything into the insurance company for pre-cert...and my husband's employer dropped their bariatric coverage.

I vowed then to do whatever I could to control my weight in whatever way I knew how. I struggled. A LOT. I fought an ailing body and crippling self-esteem. I did what I could and eventually got myself down to 360-380.

And then we moved to WV and I had to restructure my life all over again. I was without my husband half the week and, as such, parenting alone much of the time. I had no work and no friends and nothing in the area to do. I tried to find ways to make it work for me. In 2010, I found Spark, and it did light a Spark. I met some amazing ladies I would never give up in my life who pushed me to be the greatest me I could be. And I was. I was absolutely amazing. And I thought I was unstoppable. I was running 5ks and training for half marathons and putting myself out there and feeling positive about my body.

And then it broke. I got plantar fasciitis and hip bursitis and tendonitis and a million other problems in my back and hips that caused me to have to put a halt to my number one motivator - time in the gym. I went from being on fire to being put out. First Zumba had to go. And line dancing. And boxing. And running. And then even swimming hurt. And, finally, lifting. I spent 6 months at 300.6 pounds, chasing the elusive 200s...and I never found them. Within the next two years, I fell apart emotionally. My marriage took a dive. My kids were growing up and changing and life just felt so completely out of my control. I entered therapy back up in the high 300s and completely broken mentally and physically. I felt like I was steps away from a wheelchair and the end of my life.

I finally made the decision to try the surgery route again. I figured, maybe it would be the tool that would help me get back to those 300s so I could start my fight FROM there and not spend half as long breaking my body to GET there. I needed help, and it was the only help I knew that was left. Many of my Spark friends had moved on and the support just wasn't what it once was. I started a medically supervised diet in January 2015 at 460.6 pounds. Just 6 pounds shy of my highest recorded weight. I hated myself.

I had surgery on November 2, 2015. The gastric sleeve. We have yet to see what all this will do for me, but I'm trying to remain hopeful. I can tell you that it's mental torture in the beginning. Liquid diets and protein shakes and soft foods for a month. It's literally the hardest thing I have ever done (and I've done Whole 30 TWICE, y'all!). I'm wishing I had the support I once had from my girls here. I'm wishing I could find my Spark again...but I feel a little alone right now and I'm struggling with how that feels.

My hope is to find myself somewhere near 190-220. I feel like I'd be good there. I feel like that would feel like me and I could have my positive self back. I'm hopeful once I'm cleared for the gym I'll get some of that positivity back upfront, because working out truly makes me feel like I'm in control of my life and I'm doing the best things possible for it. (I'm a BEAST in the gym!) Cross fingers and toes for me...this isn't going to be easy. Nothing ever is.
Read More About CALLIKIA (Updated December 28)




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 Pounds lost: 91.6 
 
0
72.4
144.8
217.2
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Member Since: 4/18/2010

SparkPoints: 25,048

Fitness Minutes: 26,161

My Goals:
(1) Lose 50 pounds since pre-op diet. - DONE!
(2) Lose 100 pounds from highest weight.
(3) Get back to the 380s. - DONE!
(4) Under 350.
(5) Find 300.6 again.
(6) The elusive 200s.
NSV
(1) No more seat belt extender.
(2) Drop a pants size. - DONE!
(3) Fit in the majority of my closet again.
(4) Find the need to finally buy new.
(5) Airplane seats.
(6) Booths. - DONE!
(7) Car seats.
(8) Hiking stamina.
(9) Distance walking.
(10) Gym Rat status.

My Program:
After being sleeved on 11/2, I have strict guidelines for at least the first year, but really until I get to goal.

Protein - 60-79g per day
Liquid - 64oz per day
Low carb
Low sugar (no more than 10g per serving)
Possibly lower in fat

Personal Information:
Esther. 34. WV. Two beautiful boys - Logan (16) and Ethan (13). Two dogs (Joey and Champ) and two cats ("Tiggy" and Link).

Other Information:
I'm a photographer by trade (which I do in addition to my FT job). I love portrait photography! I love to travel and explore. Hiking is awesome! Love rowing. Hoping to find more adventure related likes along the way.

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Happy Birthday
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LINDA!

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FINGERS51970

Spa Visit
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Member Comments:
HEARTS116
1/3/2016 7:04:39 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONE GIRL!!
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AUTHENTICALLYME
1/3/2016 5:50:28 PM

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Happy birthday, DONE GIRL!
Here's to another 365 days around the sun!
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NEVERORNOW
1/3/2016 5:49:49 PM

emoticon Happy Birthday, Esther! Have a wonderful day! emoticon

emoticon on all those NSVs! emoticon



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CERULEANTEAR
1/3/2016 4:45:22 PM

emoticon Have an AMAZING birthday! emoticon



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ICECUB
1/3/2016 3:56:31 PM

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