This is me
Me as a superhero
When I first started on Spark it was 2008, and I weighed less than I do now. The trouble was, I was extremely bulimic, and had been for about 28 years.
With the help of Spark, I was able to quit vomiting-which was something I never even thought was possible.
My hope was to quit vomiting, (I also exercised obsessively),lose my excess weight, be skinny and live happily ever after.
Of all my addictions, food is the oldest and the root of them all.
Since I quit vomiting, my relationship with food has progressively escalated into free for all compulsive eating.
The obsessive exercise came to a halt after I hurt my back in a car accident and then hurt my knee playing tennis to such an extent that I have been unable to exercise in any way that I used to or want to. I have insurance now so I will get it checked out and hopefully back to normal. I hope to exercise some-right now I walk an hour four times a week-whoo hoo I know. But honestly I think my body has needed a break.
I am currently doing low carb/low sugar diet and for the first time since I can remember my obsessiveness about food has gone away. I would have staked my life on living a low fat life. It just goes to show you, I don't know everything!
I want to have a strong and healthy eating base that is binge/and mostly-sugar free. My new goal is to end eating as an emotional salve and have good balanced baseline eating habits.
I want to be a normal eater. Be recovered from my eating disorder, heal my body image, and love myself. Be happy and healthy.
Figure out how to eat normally without binging.
Workout 4-5 hours a week.
Exercise with a healthy attitude and not to compensate for excesses.
My name is Cindy and I am 51 years old. I have been overweight my whole life, and would really like to figure out how to be a normal eater.
I struggle with depression.
| current weight: 220.0
Hey pal ! How goes? 😍
61 days ago
Thank you my Cindy-sweets! I am so glad I blogged and thank you for giving me permission to be pissed! What a gift you are.
63 days ago
Welcome to No-S! I hope this method will bring sanity to your eating habits. It certainly has for me nd oh how I enjoy my food now and it tastes SO good if you are actually hungry before mealtime! I still struggle with a small and occasional binge on S-Days but it is nothing compared to before No-S. Stick with it though. I found it has taken me a year to really get a handle on it, but even during the year of working in it, eating has been much more enjoyable and moderate. Good luck and glad you are here.
96 days ago
Hi Cindy!! You are sure right about that! Never surrender!!
98 days ago
Do I know of a No S group? I am a leader of one on Spark! But honestly, I couldn't have done without interacting on the original site's forum. There aren't as many people interacting on the general forum but there is an archive of testimonials, a forum for people to keep a daily check-in thread- some of them going for years- and other good stuff.
I'm so pleased you are getting some peace from No S. I ate decent meals even from the beginning, though I strove never to be a purist, especially if there was something I still really enjoyed and felt little repercussion from, but I've recently gotten more interested in even "cleaner" eating for brain reasons. I'm going on faith here, and there are no guarantees, but it feels good and easy, too. When you're trying to accomplish something specific with your health, a lot of the dickering goes away, at least for me. I'm not often weighing the pleasure against some possible negative consequence, the worst of which was just feeling bloated and disappointed. Now I think I can't get the long term result if I don't keep to my plan, so I pretty much keep to it. And as of now- only about a month into new guidelines, I'm not resentful at all. It's VERY different from trying to lose weight, which I could rarely target because I never really accepted the premise that I needed to or should have had to to meet some ideal. But, I very much accept the premise that my mental faculties are best supported in the long run by eating mostly unprocessed foods and by 5-6 hour breaks from eating during the day (it's just in the last few months that I cut out between-meal decaf stevia-sweetened mocha) and nothing after dinner. I get a little torn at times over the vegetarian/vegan vs. and even its crazy opposite low carb stuff plus stuff in between, but that's minor in comparison. Whenever I find myself getting into a bit of a hissy fit over a meal, I say to myself, "Put food on a plate and eat it!"
Come join the fun!
101 days ago