DIBO2011   11,043
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Aug 2010 weight 155



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Choose to Live

For many years I questioned why I was here. I never felt worthy of my life, my kids, or love. Back in late 2009 I decided to stop asking why I deserved or didn't deserve this time I had been given, but instead to live the rest of my life so that I felt I wasn't wasting time. Time that someone else may be wishing they had more of.

Although I still doubt myself, I know that I made a choice to live at a time when I felt hopeless, and each additional moment I am given, I get to ...
For many years I questioned why I was here. I never felt worthy of my life, my kids, or love. Back in late 2009 I decided to stop asking why I deserved or didn't deserve this time I had been given, but instead to live the rest of my life so that I felt I wasn't wasting time. Time that someone else may be wishing they had more of.

Although I still doubt myself, I know that I made a choice to live at a time when I felt hopeless, and each additional moment I am given, I get to make that choice over again. I choose to live.

Hi,

My name is Dianna and I would like to lose 25-35 more pounds. I have struggled with my weight for a good majority of my life. Growing up I was always the chubby or fat one, but never just right. I have never been an athlete or played any sports, but decided to start a new journey in late 2009 by using the wii Fit, along with a tool called the BodyBugg, which I use for logging food and estimating calories burned. I also did a lot of marching to Leslie Sansone DVDs.

All of the tools helped and as I lost weight, I started adding jogging indoors to my routine along with the kettle bell and some core workout DVDs. After several months I got the nerve to take my jogging outside, which I really enjoyed.

By late spring of 2010, I finally felt like I had things under control, that I was headed in the right direction, but then the rest of my life stepped in. Within a couple of months everything had changed. My husband lost his mother, I lost one of my sisters, and my sister in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. I kept telling myself that I was strong enough and that this was a life lesson, showing me how important it was that I stay in control of myself. I focused on helping my sister in-law through chemo. Toward the end of her treatment in spring of 2011, my mother, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2008, started having more issues. It took several months, but we were able to get things back under control until December when she had a ďmini strokeĒ.

My mom lives with me and my family. Iím her main caregiver. When I first brought her back home from the hospital, I couldnít sleep. I was so afraid of not hearing her or missing something, and she was angry that she couldnít do things for herself that she was able to do before. We have created a new routine that has helped make things go a little smoother, but in my heart I know that with Alzheimerís she wonít ever really get better.

When I think back to the pure grief of 2010, I remember being focused and exercising through it all. Although I was letting my diet slide a bit, by the summer of 2011 I actually ran my first 5K and an 8K, but since then I have lost all momentum. My diet has gotten worse, I have been exercising less, and Iím not sure if I gave up or why Iím sabotaging myself.

2012 was a hard year for me. I tripped while jogging and have had a hard time getting it out of my head when I run so I don't push myself as hard and don't do it as often as I should. I gained almost 20 pounds back of what I had lost.

Late January 2013 I decided to try again and have set a goal to run a 15K this April. I am no where near ready, but I've decided to take it one step at a time.
Read More About DIBO2011 (Updated March 21)




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Member Since: 6/22/2011

SparkPoints: 11,043

Fitness Minutes: 26,875

My Goals:
Ran a 5K and an 8K summer of 2011, would like to beat my pace and overall time. Goal is to be healthy and happy, but would like to weigh between 125-135. Starting weight was 221.5. Currently training to run a 15K in April 2013.

My Program:
Jogging, but need to get consistent again. Need to restart core workouts, and kettle bell. I try to eat a lower carb/ higher protein diet, and use the Bodybugg for logging food and estimating calories burned, as well as the fitbit.

Personal Information:
I am a 41 year old Oregonian, who has been happily married for 22 years. My husband and I have 3 children. Our eldest daughter is currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Our son is currently pursuing a degree in engineering, and our youngest daughter is a junior in high school.

Other Information:
I enjoy watching The Biggest Loser. I like crocheting blankets. My favorite authors are Nicholas Sparks and Richard Paul Evans. I love road trips.

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Member Comments:
BRADMILL2922
10/29/2013 1:13:04 AM

Thank you for the friend add the other day! Congrats on all of the success you have had! I have added you back and I hope you are having a wondrful week!



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PIXIE-LICIOUS
5/26/2013 7:56:04 PM

"Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long.
Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals.
No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders.
How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come."
-Og Mandino
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Just stopping by to wish you a healthy week, Spark friend! If you fall down, get back up and keep pushing forward. I hope you know that you're always worth your best effort...because you really are!
Hugs,
Pixie
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PIXIE-LICIOUS
5/15/2013 12:22:31 PM

"Three of the most powerful words in the English language are 'I AM RESPONSIBLE.' It's tough to do, but when the day comes that you can say those words, believe them, and mean them, it will be the most liberating moment of your life. Taking responsibility for all of your results, for better or for worse, is taking back your power to create results in your life."
-Tom Venuto
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Its up to you to make your goals and dreams a reality, Sparkfriend! Take responsibility, and do your best each day to make progress. You are totally worth the effort, you know!
I hope your week has been great so far!
Hugs,
Pixie



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PIXIE-LICIOUS
4/29/2013 10:06:50 PM

"Just because we are knocked down does not mean that we are out.
We still have breath in our lungs and tears flowing down - all signs that we are alive!
Take a deep breath and be reminded that often our biggest struggles are stepping stones to our greatest victories."
-Rae Smith
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Just stopping by to wish you a healthy, happy week, Spark friend! Keep your goals in mind and keep pushing yourself every day to get closer. It isn't easy, but never forget that you are worth the effort!
Hugs,
Pixie




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PIXIE-LICIOUS
4/15/2013 7:19:58 AM

‚ÄúThe whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that's when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it.‚ÄĚ
-John C. Maxwell
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Get ready for a healthy week, Sparkfriend! You know what you want, and you know what you need to do in order to make it happen...so just do it! Push yourself, even if you don't feel like it...because you really are worth the effort!
Hugs,
Pixie





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