My heart goes out to you. I lost my mother 2 years ago and my brother 8yrs. The year I lost my mother ,I also lost 2 aunts ,1 uncle, and I lost my best friend to cancer. I WAS VERY CLOSE TO THEM .Not the same as a spouse , but I know the pain. I barely got pass one death ,when I was hit by another. My brother was the only sibling I had, he was only 50. I am glad you are back. I just started,but I have a many of good friends here that helps me to keep moving along . I couldn't do it without them.