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4/12/14, 260lbs, tulip festival

Words can't really describe how much I hate how I look in this picture. (255lbs)


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I'm a 30 year old divorced mother of an 8 year old son. I'm currently in a transitional period after resigning from a career that aided in me gaining quite a lot of weight in four years. In total, over the past dozen years, I have gained about 90 lbs, with only about 5lbs of that being leftover from pregnancy.

I reached my highest weight ever in August 2016 at 293lbs on a 5'8" frame. My weakness is food. I not only love food for the taste, texture, pleasure and social aspects of it, but I also eat compulsively when I'm bored, sad, and sometimes for seemingly no reason at all. I've come to mistrust myself. I told myself I'd never get to 200lbs, and then I did. Then I told myself I wouldn't get over 220, and then I did...and so on and so forth.

This is not the story I want to live. It's time for action. Time for hope. Time for kicking my own ass.

Thinking about the huge amount I need to lose feels scary, but a "10lbs at a time" mindset makes me feel less anxious.

A history of my weight:
08/2016: 293
01/2016: 280
09/2015: 272
12/2014: 267
9/2014: 268-269
4/2014: 260
11/2013: 250
3/2013: 240ish
8/2012: 235ish
8/2011: 230ish
5/2010: 215ish
6/2008: 215ish
12/2007: 233 (9mo pregnant w/my son)
03/2007: 205 (right before getting pregnant)
05/2006: 190
06/2004: 180ish (at HS graduation, age 17)
06/2002: 175ish (mid-HS, nearly 16, same height I am now)

Member Since: 1/13/2006

Fitness Minutes: 3,831

My Goals:
Learn to manage my compulsive/emotional eating.

Have more energy to play with my son.

Feel like I look sexy. No more feeling like I have to suck in my gut throughout the day. No more cringing at photos taken of me.

Goal by end of 2015: 225!

Goal by end of 2016: 170-175

Yes, I'm planning on taking two years to lose about 80lbs. Slow and steady...

My Program:
Getting my emotional/addictive eating habits under control is priority #1.

Lots of walking!

Once I get to about 230lbs I may try the couch to 5k program again. I have found that no matter what shoes I have, surface I run on, and how much stretching/icing/resting I do, I get BAD shin splints when I try to run at higher than about 230lbs.

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 current weight: 256.5 
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